Bucket list?

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Marianne313
Marianne313 Member Posts: 124
in Colorectal Cancer #1
I'm not sure this is an appropriate question or not. I do not wish to upset or offend anyone here in any way at all, so forgive me if this seems inappropriate to you.

I would like to know if, when diagnosed, any one here decided to do a "bucket list" of sorts and wrote down all they would like to do, try, achieve before they "ran out of time".

I ask because I was thinking of asking my aunt if she wanted to go on a cruise because I know she enjoys those and hasn't been in a long time but just like I have no desire to offend anyone here, I also don't want to hurt or upset her. I thought of just coming out and asking her "is there anything you'd like to do before you die" but that seems so .... cold, crude and frankly, even though I know it happens to us all, I really don't want to think about it, I just want to enjoy as much time as I can with her but I'd like to know what, if anything, she'd like to do. (she worries about me taking so much time off of work even though I've tried to assure her it's ok).

Comments

  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #2
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    Previous Post
    Here's a link to other responses.
    Good question.
  • Marianne313
    Marianne313 Member Posts: 124
    #3
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    PhillieG said:

    Previous Post
    Here's a link to other responses.
    Good question.

    Thank you
    I didn't realize it had already been asked.
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    #4
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    Marianne313 said:

    Thank you
    I didn't realize it had already been asked.

    Fun
    It doesn't have to be because of dying. Just do it for the enjoyment.
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #5
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    Enjoy
    She should start thinking about all the things she has wanted to do,and start doing them.I am trying to visit all the places I enjoyed when I was younger,and had more time.And see old friends that I have missed over the years.Good luck.I thought about those things before I got sick,that just gave me a reason.
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #6
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    Enjoy
    She should start thinking about all the things she has wanted to do,and start doing them.I am trying to visit all the places I enjoyed when I was younger,and had more time.And see old friends that I have missed over the years.Good luck.I thought about those things before I got sick,that just gave me a reason.
  • karguy
    karguy Member Posts: 1,020 Member
    #7
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    Enjoy
    She should start thinking about all the things she has wanted to do,and start doing them.I am trying to visit all the places I enjoyed when I was younger,and had more time.And see old friends that I have missed over the years.Good luck.I thought about those things before I got sick,that just gave me a reason.
  • thxmiker
    thxmiker Member Posts: 1,278 Member
    #8
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    Have a fun trip!
    I encourage you to go! Life is more likely to end with a bad car accident then cancer. Go and live life!

    Have a fun trip!
    Best Always, mike
  • Kathryn_in_MN
    Kathryn_in_MN Member Posts: 1,252 Member
    #9
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    Just ask her!
    Tell her you could really use a get-away and were considering a cruise. And that you know she enjoys cruising, so you hoped she would go with you. You don't need to make it about fitting in one last cruise before dieing or anything - just make it a special escape for the two of you.

    If anyone wants to take me on a cruise, I'll jump at the chance! I'm not dieing any time soon, but reality is one day it will most likely be colon cancer that takes me (stage IV on chemo for life). I love cruising and right now if I could choose just one thing to do, it would be a cruise with extended family - with all of us going together - cruising Europe or Caribbean islands, or Alaska. We've taken my youngest son cruising with us, but the other three have not cruised. My parents have never cruised. My sister and her husband have several times (I put together an extended family cruise for his family to Alaska a few years ago), and my brother and his wife a few times.

    To have the opportunity right now to go see several new places without the usual packing up and flying/driving/bussing to the next spot, with so many choices for food and entertainment, or to just sit on my balcony and veg out... heaven!
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #10
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    Marianne313 said:

    Thank you
    I didn't realize it had already been asked.

    Marianne
    It's always a great topic. I just wanted to bump up some other responses so they are part of your thread.
    Top of my Bucket List...Don't Kick It!
    ;-)
    -p
  • BettyJoM
    BettyJoM Member Posts: 82
    #11
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    Marianne,
    depends how she is
    Marianne,
    depends how she is taking all this. I joked to everyone that I had a bucket list

    If she is the type that can appreciate your asking, just say, "do you have a bucket list?"
    everybody saw the movie and it sounds better than "anything you want to do before you die." LOl
    I think you are a wonderful niece to worry about such a thing, your aunt is a lucky woman.
    Betty Jo
  • Marianne313
    Marianne313 Member Posts: 124
    #12
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    BettyJoM said:

    Marianne,
    depends how she is
    Marianne,
    depends how she is taking all this. I joked to everyone that I had a bucket list

    If she is the type that can appreciate your asking, just say, "do you have a bucket list?"
    everybody saw the movie and it sounds better than "anything you want to do before you die." LOl
    I think you are a wonderful niece to worry about such a thing, your aunt is a lucky woman.
    Betty Jo

    Hi everyone
    first, thanks to everyone for posting. I appreciate your time and thoughts/ideas.

    She is the type where I could just ask. I just feel very confused by many things. For instance, the Dr. told her if she does nothing she may have 6 months (but that she's already used 2 of those), when we got home to her house she told her husband that she's going to die in 4 months (he has alzheimers and never remembers much). I think she was saying it jokingly but all the way home I wondered if she said it so she could try to get used to the idea. Then the other day she got a handicapped parking permit and on the paper the Doctor gave it a 1 year expiration date....and she said "wonder if that means I won't be here in a year". So I don't know if she believes she's really "that sick" since so far, the only thing different that I can tell is that she's easily out of breath. Priority #1 is to try to get her to make some type of decision regarding care for my uncle since she's not strong enough to do for him like she used to and he doesn't do for himself, but she won't talk about that yet. I know that these things would be and should be for her son to help and decide and for him to talk to her about, but he's so sick with Esophugeal(I know I spelled that wrong) cancer that he nearly never leaves his home except to go for chemo and radiation. I've always been close to my aunt, she's also my godmother. She's just a very special person.

    thanks again to all for letting me "run out the mouth" and just ramble on, it makes me feel just a bit less stressed about all of this.

    Take care everyone.
    Marianne

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