My husband does not care for his oncologist

arndog64
arndog64 Member Posts: 537
in Head and Neck Cancer #1
My husband does not care for his oncologist and staff. The oncologist is very young and her onco nurse is not very friendly and the front desk staff are not very professional. I talked to the doctor today, my husband is in alot of pain and was taking more than prescribed and she basically talked down to me. I understand that they have to be cautious about the pain meds.. He ran out of morphine in 3 weeks instead of the 4. I realize he is taking more than instructed but the pain meds only last for like 4 hours and they have him taking meds one every 8 hours. I am sorry but that does not do anything for my husband. He will finish with this treatment, if he has to have more, we are switching doctors.

Comments

  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #2
    New Doctor

    There is no reason that a Doctor or nurse should ever talk down to you. They of all people should understand what you and your husband are going through. There were times in my treatment I too needed more pain med then prescribe, doc should understand this.

    I am on my 3rd Oncl doctor so don’t feel bad, you have to get a doc you can trust and feel good going to.

    Take care
    Hondo
  • palmyrafan
    palmyrafan Member Posts: 396
    #3
    New Doctor
    Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry to hear about the problems your husband is having.

    I know it is difficult, but please remember that any doctor who talks down to their patients, allows their staff to or just in general makes you feel that you owe them, is not worth the paper diploma they have on the wall. Doctors need to remember that WE hire THEM, not the other way around.

    That said, I would start looking for an oncologist right now before his pain meds run out. Get an appt set with the new onco so that he is ready to go. Also, look for a doctor that is Board Certified (if you are lucky enough to live in a larger metropolitan area) and preferably one that you can get references to. Check with his family physician to see who they would recommend. Also, go on-line and see if the new doc(s) have any reviews from patients or any sanctions from the Medical Boards. If you are a member of Facebook, ask your friends and colleagues if they know of any good oncologists. Also check with your neighbors and/or church family about who they know.

    I have fired a few doctors in my time; some were incompetent, a couple insulted the doctor that saved my life, and another just had terrible bedside 101 manners. Remember, just because someone has a medical degree doesn't mean they should be "practicing" medicine.

    Best of luck to you and your husband. You're both in my prayers.

    Teresa
  • arndog64
    arndog64 Member Posts: 537
    #4
    palmyrafan said:

    New Doctor
    Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry to hear about the problems your husband is having.

    I know it is difficult, but please remember that any doctor who talks down to their patients, allows their staff to or just in general makes you feel that you owe them, is not worth the paper diploma they have on the wall. Doctors need to remember that WE hire THEM, not the other way around.

    That said, I would start looking for an oncologist right now before his pain meds run out. Get an appt set with the new onco so that he is ready to go. Also, look for a doctor that is Board Certified (if you are lucky enough to live in a larger metropolitan area) and preferably one that you can get references to. Check with his family physician to see who they would recommend. Also, go on-line and see if the new doc(s) have any reviews from patients or any sanctions from the Medical Boards. If you are a member of Facebook, ask your friends and colleagues if they know of any good oncologists. Also check with your neighbors and/or church family about who they know.

    I have fired a few doctors in my time; some were incompetent, a couple insulted the doctor that saved my life, and another just had terrible bedside 101 manners. Remember, just because someone has a medical degree doesn't mean they should be "practicing" medicine.

    Best of luck to you and your husband. You're both in my prayers.

    Teresa

    We live in Houston and we
    We live in Houston and we are going to switch to MD Anderson. When first diagnosed we had a pre-existing clause on our policy.. Long story short Md Anderson would not see him with the pre existing clause.. But, now it's May and that is no longer in effect. His last treatment ends on May 24th, so they said to call and they would start the process to get him in.
  • arndog64
    arndog64 Member Posts: 537
    #5
    Hondo said:

    New Doctor

    There is no reason that a Doctor or nurse should ever talk down to you. They of all people should understand what you and your husband are going through. There were times in my treatment I too needed more pain med then prescribe, doc should understand this.

    I am on my 3rd Oncl doctor so don’t feel bad, you have to get a doc you can trust and feel good going to.

    Take care
    Hondo

    Hondo - You go to MD
    Hondo - You go to MD Anderson I believe????? If so, what is your opinion on the quality of service and bedside manner?
  • Dav1965
    Dav1965 Member Posts: 132
    #6
    Go where you are comfortable
    I remember when i was in the hospital they kept arguing with me to hit the button for more pain meds and i was like i dont hurt to bad. The nurse is telling me dont hurt at all that if i dont hurt i will heal faster and then i could go home faster. After that i was convinced. I thank God for the oncology team at UNC Chapil Hill they were all outstanding. Even though i am a Duke fan they treated me great. LOL seriously go with who you are comfortable with. They should not limit your pain meds. I was on patches and pills. David
  • Irishgypsie
    Irishgypsie Member Posts: 333
    #7
    Dav1965 said:

    Go where you are comfortable
    I remember when i was in the hospital they kept arguing with me to hit the button for more pain meds and i was like i dont hurt to bad. The nurse is telling me dont hurt at all that if i dont hurt i will heal faster and then i could go home faster. After that i was convinced. I thank God for the oncology team at UNC Chapil Hill they were all outstanding. Even though i am a Duke fan they treated me great. LOL seriously go with who you are comfortable with. They should not limit your pain meds. I was on patches and pills. David

    4 Different Doctors?
    Hey sorry about the pain your husband is in. First of all, I'm a Registered Nurse and am sorry to say that like any other business, (yes, it is a business); you have good people and bad. :( Having said that. Your husband should have 4 different doctors to approach if one isn't giving enough pain management.

    1. PCP (primary care provider) 2. ENT 3. Medical oncologist (chemo doc) 4. Radiation Oncologist. I was getting my pain medication from the radiation Oncologist; my medical oncologist was hardly in the picture. You should have a fentynal patch by now in addition to pills, liquids etc. Good luck!! :)

    Charles
  • arndog64
    arndog64 Member Posts: 537
    #8
    Irishgypsie said:

    4 Different Doctors?
    Hey sorry about the pain your husband is in. First of all, I'm a Registered Nurse and am sorry to say that like any other business, (yes, it is a business); you have good people and bad. :( Having said that. Your husband should have 4 different doctors to approach if one isn't giving enough pain management.

    1. PCP (primary care provider) 2. ENT 3. Medical oncologist (chemo doc) 4. Radiation Oncologist. I was getting my pain medication from the radiation Oncologist; my medical oncologist was hardly in the picture. You should have a fentynal patch by now in addition to pills, liquids etc. Good luck!! :)

    Charles

    he has the low dose fent
    he has the low dose fent patch and hydrocodone and he just ran out of morphine. He ran out of morphine 3 1/2 weeks out and his doctor was kinda rude about the refill thing... Needless to say, she did not refill the morphine. She wants to send him to pain management instead. What do you guys think of that?
  • tnsilcncer
    tnsilcncer Member Posts: 64
    #9
    arndog64 said:

    he has the low dose fent
    he has the low dose fent patch and hydrocodone and he just ran out of morphine. He ran out of morphine 3 1/2 weeks out and his doctor was kinda rude about the refill thing... Needless to say, she did not refill the morphine. She wants to send him to pain management instead. What do you guys think of that?

    Pain in the...........
    I just went through this with my radiologist. I'm 3 months out from my last radiation and still have mucousitis (my throat is blistered, swollen and red). I have a PEG tube but prefer to eat by mouth because that's what normal people do, I just can't do it without taking one hydro about half hour before I eat. When I went in to have her look at my throat and get a medication refill, she basically told me she wasn't giving me any more, that she didn't know what was wrong with me, if I couldn't eat to use my PEG tube, and if I wanted more meds, I would need to go see my ENT who I should tell that it's hurting behind my tongue so he would scope me. (It's not hurting behind my tongue, it's hurting where you can SEE ALL THE BLISTERS ON THE BACK OF MY THROAT!). Long story short (which I can never seem to do on here, it's always a book, haha!)I did go see my ENT who said that what was going on was perfectly normal, to take my pain pills that he gave me, if I needed two before meals to take them, to go home, eat, and be happy and he would see me at surgery. When I left my radiologists office, I felt like a junkie trying to get my fix. Some doctors just don't have a very good bedside manner and I'll tell you what, my radiologist will be the last doc I go to with any problems in the future! Hope it works out for you guys!

    Hugs,
    Karen
  • arndog64
    arndog64 Member Posts: 537
    #10
    tnsilcncer said:

    Pain in the...........
    I just went through this with my radiologist. I'm 3 months out from my last radiation and still have mucousitis (my throat is blistered, swollen and red). I have a PEG tube but prefer to eat by mouth because that's what normal people do, I just can't do it without taking one hydro about half hour before I eat. When I went in to have her look at my throat and get a medication refill, she basically told me she wasn't giving me any more, that she didn't know what was wrong with me, if I couldn't eat to use my PEG tube, and if I wanted more meds, I would need to go see my ENT who I should tell that it's hurting behind my tongue so he would scope me. (It's not hurting behind my tongue, it's hurting where you can SEE ALL THE BLISTERS ON THE BACK OF MY THROAT!). Long story short (which I can never seem to do on here, it's always a book, haha!)I did go see my ENT who said that what was going on was perfectly normal, to take my pain pills that he gave me, if I needed two before meals to take them, to go home, eat, and be happy and he would see me at surgery. When I left my radiologists office, I felt like a junkie trying to get my fix. Some doctors just don't have a very good bedside manner and I'll tell you what, my radiologist will be the last doc I go to with any problems in the future! Hope it works out for you guys!

    Hugs,
    Karen

    That's exactly the way they
    That's exactly the way they made my husband feel and he was pissed.. He is not a junkie he is a man dealing with a life threating disease that is very painful.
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #11
    Irishgypsie said:

    4 Different Doctors?
    Hey sorry about the pain your husband is in. First of all, I'm a Registered Nurse and am sorry to say that like any other business, (yes, it is a business); you have good people and bad. :( Having said that. Your husband should have 4 different doctors to approach if one isn't giving enough pain management.

    1. PCP (primary care provider) 2. ENT 3. Medical oncologist (chemo doc) 4. Radiation Oncologist. I was getting my pain medication from the radiation Oncologist; my medical oncologist was hardly in the picture. You should have a fentynal patch by now in addition to pills, liquids etc. Good luck!! :)

    Charles

    Spot On Charles
    I have the same four, although my PCP came in to the picture late. He is kind of tentative to step on the other three's toes. So if it's head & neck related, I pretty much still see my ENT first.

    During treatment, my Chemo MD was my main lead, even during the concurrent Chemo/Radiation. My Rads MD, was pretty much a let you talk and listen guy.

    But my Chemo MD, she always stressed to me, "No matter what you are going through, or dealing with, I have something for it", she always did, no questions asked.

    Best,
    John
  • RushFan
    RushFan Member Posts: 224
    #12
    arndog64 said:

    That's exactly the way they
    That's exactly the way they made my husband feel and he was pissed.. He is not a junkie he is a man dealing with a life threating disease that is very painful.

    I highly recommend MD
    I highly recommend MD Anderson. Many in the Houston area do not care for the Med Center, but I was fine with it. Traffic, parking whatever...it was all worth it.

    My surgical onc is top-notch. She takes her time, is a great listener and takes all the time I need when I visit her. Same goes for my rad onc. He is at the Katy satellite center and took care of my pain meds. Never had a problem.

    Surgical Onc is Dr. Amy Hessel, Rad Onc is Dr. Greg Chronowski. Chronowski is a H&N radiologist...

    I have also had some interaction with a former MDA doctor at CyFair Cancer Center. He is Dr. Kong. I attend support group meeting there each month. He is an extremely nice man, he and his wife (also a Cancer MD) founded the center.

    Best regards to you and all here.
    Chuck.
  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #13
    arndog64 said:

    Hondo - You go to MD
    Hondo - You go to MD Anderson I believe????? If so, what is your opinion on the quality of service and bedside manner?

    MD Anderson

    Yes I do all my follow up at MDA now, like I said the Local Oncl doctors here in Lafayette I did not like the treatment I was getting from them. I do like the Doctor I now have at MDA and for the passed 3 years he has always been up front with me on everything. However there is one ENT Doctor there I don’t like but I don’t ever need to see him, so I never schedule an appointment with him. I have my Local ENT doctor here in Lafayette She took me years to find, I like her and the way she treats me every time I go to see her, no need to chance a good thing.

    I think if you go to MD Anderson you will like it, but they are very expensive and love to do PET and MRI’s on my insurance. The best Doctor there for H&N is Dr Hanna

    Take care and wish you well
    Hondo
  • wifeforlife
    wifeforlife Member Posts: 189
    #14
    Skiffin16 said:

    Spot On Charles
    I have the same four, although my PCP came in to the picture late. He is kind of tentative to step on the other three's toes. So if it's head & neck related, I pretty much still see my ENT first.

    During treatment, my Chemo MD was my main lead, even during the concurrent Chemo/Radiation. My Rads MD, was pretty much a let you talk and listen guy.

    But my Chemo MD, she always stressed to me, "No matter what you are going through, or dealing with, I have something for it", she always did, no questions asked.

    Best,
    John

    switched
    We are not in your area... however We switched Med Oncol. Dr. in the middle of treatment... my husband was in the hospital and I couldn't take it any more!.. bug "todo" at the hospital... got a great!!! new Dr out of it!.
    You don't need the added stress of not having confidence in your Dr.
    Wife
  • Pumakitty
    Pumakitty Member Posts: 652
    #15
    I understand
    My dad had an ENT that we could not stand. When he was first told about his cancer the EANT todl us he did not have much of a chance. The whole time he talks to his nurse not patient and always is at least 45 minutes late. When we went to him after treatment finished he was ready to do major surgery on his tongue, when I questioned him he got mad. After that I told the other doctors he would never go back to him.

    It took me a while to realize that we did not have to be treated that way and that it only makes it worse on the patient and family when they have a doctor they do not trust.

    I hope your husbands pain gets better soon.

    Kathy

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