It is now 17 months since hubby passed. I dont post often but do lurk and drop a line once in a while. As some of you may know in the first 8 months after hubby passing I had to get the girls and myself a new place to live and I also changed jobs.
The one year mark was hard but I thought I was doing ok, getting better at dealing with my new life. But this grief demon is not done with me yet.
On 4th Apr (exactly 16 months after hubby passed) I crashed my car. Had my four year old with me at the time. We were both unhurt. Car though got totalled. Mind you I have before that accident never been involved in an accident. Never had a bump even on any of the cars I have owned. So yes this was major.
Tomorrow is hubby's birthday. It is the second one he has not been here for but last year was a blur and this year? I just want to crawl under the covers and not come out for a week. Not an option when you have 2 kids (aged 4 and 10) and the nearest family lives a 7hour plane ride away. I did not cry much after he passed. All choked up I guess. But I have spent the last week or so tearing at the littlest thing and crying in the shower (coz I dont want the girls to think mum has lost it). Its like I put my grief in a little box and put it away because I had things to get done and now that box is too full and threatening to burst.
I may just take a couple of days off work because it is just getting a little too much for even supermum to handle. :)
Its not always this bad. Guess I am just having a rough week.
Be kind to yourselves (as I try to find the courage to be kind to me).