Just checking in

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Texasgirl10
Texasgirl10 Member Posts: 668
Hi everyone,

I just wanted to check in and say thank you to all of you that wrote such beautiful words to me about my pathology report. I have had a few days to let it all sink in and now I'm in fighting mode again. My cousin told me when I was first diagnosed that I have cancer but it doesn't have me. She is so very right. I am ready for whatever the onc recommends and I will meet it head on and win :)

I am still recovering from surgery. My left arm is very sore. I start PT on the 17. I honestly don't know why they are waiting so long for me to start. I have been elevating my arm on a pillow, no salt, and limiting my Dr Pepper ( that one is hard) I don't want lymphadema.

My husband is going back to work in the morning and I am very scared. I know I'm gonna be fine physically, but all of the sudden I have become very clingy to him. I have never been this way. I have always been a very strong, independent woman but now I am really scared when I am too far away from him. Have any of you gone through something like this?

I hope all of you are doing well and feeling great.

Hugs and God Bless,

Dawne

Comments

  • Jean 0609
    Jean 0609 Member Posts: 2,462
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    Hi Dawne,
    Thanks for checking in. I've been thinking about you. Yes, keep that positive attitude! It definitely helps. Just keep fighting.

    xoxo,
    Jean
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
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    Hi Hon,
    Thank you for

    Hi Hon,

    Thank you for checking in, I was getting a little worried. I'm still mad about your pathology, but I'm calm enough now to give you the support you need. I know what a fighter you are, and I know that you are giving everything you've got to this battle. I picture you kicking and stomping until you've stomped this hateful nasty thing to nothing.

    As you go through the days without your wonderful hubby, you will get better and better at dealing with the fears. Each hour that you face will make you stronger and stronger. And as for PT, they're just waiting until you heal enough to tolerate the PT without doing damage to your healing surgery site. Be careful about babying the left arm too much, even though it is sore you want to move it (especially the shoulder) enough so it doesn't "freeze". I liked the exercise where you climb your fingers up the wall, so that your fingers are like spiders climbing up. Exercise will help with possible lymphedema too.

    My heart is in this battle with you...Keep stomping!

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
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    Dawne, It is good to hear
    Dawne, It is good to hear how you are doing. I did the walking the walls also and it helped keep the stiffness out and gave me back my mobility.

    As far as being clingy, I can understand how you are feeling. Sometimes I think that when someone else is here, there is more going on and I don't have to think, and other times I think it is a safety net, just knowing that if I need anything they are here, and I don't want to be alone for too long. Amazed at how my mind works:) Always helps knowing that someone is only a phone call away!

    Sounds like the fight is back on and we are all right behind you.

    Prayers,
    ~Carol
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
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    Dawne
    so glad to hear that you're back in fighting mode. I can understand you being apprehensive about your husband going back to work but hopefully he's only a phone call away. You are probably stronger than you think you are. Continue to heal and rest. The 17th does seem like a long time to wait but you can do your own arm lifts at home. I will keep you in my thoughts. You go girl :D
    {{hugs}} Char
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
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    Dawn@
    hope you are feeling better...

    Denise
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
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    cahjah75 said:

    Dawne
    so glad to hear that you're back in fighting mode. I can understand you being apprehensive about your husband going back to work but hopefully he's only a phone call away. You are probably stronger than you think you are. Continue to heal and rest. The 17th does seem like a long time to wait but you can do your own arm lifts at home. I will keep you in my thoughts. You go girl :D
    {{hugs}} Char

    HiYa my friend,
    I am so

    HiYa my friend,

    I am so glad to hear from you, I've been thinking about you all weekend. It's funny how we've only known each other for a few short weeks but our journey is so close together I feel connected with you. You, like myself and every other woman here on this board, are very strong spirited women. The quote your friend gave you was from Elizabeth Edwards a true pioneer in her breast cancer fight. As for your husband having to go back to work, I think it only attests to how true your love for him really is, but in the same since it's you that needs to start taking your life back. It's time for him to allow your wings to flutter unassisted, although I am sure he won't be far away.

    You are amazing and I love your spirit.. We are here for you buddy.
    Hugs,
    Lorrie


    Quotations: "Cancer doesn’t have us. We have cancer. Cancer doesn’t own us. We own us. We decide how we are going to face this disease, how we are going to live each day."

    Elizabeth Edwards
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
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    Dawne, I was so glad to see
    Dawne, I was so glad to see your post. It sounds as if you are doing well and I think your feelings are completely normal. Remember though, we survivors are at higher risk for anxiety and depression. If your anxiety and fears persist beyond a couple of weeks, talk with your oncologist. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it--your doctor will know that you may have trouble coping. Your oncologist should be able to recommend medication and/or counseling.

    Please PM me if you need anything and know that Louisiana is not that far from Texas! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    A Cancer Diagnosis Can Affect Your Emotional Health
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
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    Dawne, I was so glad to see
    Dawne, I was so glad to see your post. It sounds as if you are doing well and I think your feelings are completely normal. Remember though, we survivors are at higher risk for anxiety and depression. If your anxiety and fears persist beyond a couple of weeks, talk with your oncologist. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it--your doctor will know that you may have trouble coping. Your oncologist should be able to recommend medication and/or counseling.

    Please PM me if you need anything and know that Louisiana is not that far from Texas! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    A Cancer Diagnosis Can Affect Your Emotional Health

    Dawne,
    It sounds like you're

    Dawne,
    It sounds like you're feeling a little better and I'm glad to hear, ready for the fight.
    I think it's perfectly natural that you've been clingy to your hubby. I wouldn't worry about that at all. You're going through a lot of tough times and of course you've needed him.
    Prayers are always being sent and please keep us posted.
    Hugs,
    Wanda
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
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    Dawne,
    It sounds like you're

    Dawne,
    It sounds like you're feeling a little better and I'm glad to hear, ready for the fight.
    I think it's perfectly natural that you've been clingy to your hubby. I wouldn't worry about that at all. You're going through a lot of tough times and of course you've needed him.
    Prayers are always being sent and please keep us posted.
    Hugs,
    Wanda

    Dawne--we all knew you had it in you!
    Recovery from surgery is tough--be kind to yourself and be patient. Then, it's "Fight Night" again! Regarding your apprehension about your husband going back to work--I can so relate. Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship and he is very nurturing. I felt the same way. But, you are a fighter and it might feel a little uncomfortable at first--but I'm sure (like Char said) he's only a phone call away. By the way, I felt the same way about leaving my house--it had become my safe haven.

    Good luck, Dawne. Keep us well-informed. We're all with you.

    Hugs, Renee
  • Texasgirl10
    Texasgirl10 Member Posts: 668
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    missrenee said:

    Dawne--we all knew you had it in you!
    Recovery from surgery is tough--be kind to yourself and be patient. Then, it's "Fight Night" again! Regarding your apprehension about your husband going back to work--I can so relate. Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship and he is very nurturing. I felt the same way. But, you are a fighter and it might feel a little uncomfortable at first--but I'm sure (like Char said) he's only a phone call away. By the way, I felt the same way about leaving my house--it had become my safe haven.

    Good luck, Dawne. Keep us well-informed. We're all with you.

    Hugs, Renee

    I did it
    I stayed home all by myself today and did just fine :)

    The fatty part on the bottom of my arm up next to my armpit is numb but at the same time it hurts. Is this normal? If so, how long before that goes away? It's driving me nuts. I have been babying my arm, but I am also using it to some degree. I lift it up and down several times throughout the day and I wash my scalp. Do I need to be doing anything else until I start PT? Oh and is it ok to sleep on the right side - I didn't have lymph nodes removed from that side. I've always been a left sided sleeper, but I guess that's out of the question now.

    Hugs,

    Dawne
  • sunshine0406
    sunshine0406 Member Posts: 65
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    I did it
    I stayed home all by myself today and did just fine :)

    The fatty part on the bottom of my arm up next to my armpit is numb but at the same time it hurts. Is this normal? If so, how long before that goes away? It's driving me nuts. I have been babying my arm, but I am also using it to some degree. I lift it up and down several times throughout the day and I wash my scalp. Do I need to be doing anything else until I start PT? Oh and is it ok to sleep on the right side - I didn't have lymph nodes removed from that side. I've always been a left sided sleeper, but I guess that's out of the question now.

    Hugs,

    Dawne

    I am glad to see you are feeling better
    I am glad to see you are feeling better. I also had the numb but hurting feeling , but mine was just under the arm pit. It was that way for a little over a month (I never had any PT I don't know why my dr did not tell me to go). It drove me crazy too, I as so happy when it started to feel "normal" again. My Dr said it had something to do with the nerves being cut and it would just take time to feel better. I had my surgery Feb 28th and just noticed it not hurting a couple days ago. I also had the anxiety of being left alone (well alone as you can get with 2 small kids and a puppy). I come on here and read up on everybody just so I don't feel alone. I wish the chat worked for me but I can not get it to work :( I am also (get this) glad to have radiation everyday just so I get out of the house to see adults (sick I know but I feel so alone. I end radiation in about a week and I hope I can handle the alone time).
    Hugs, Laura
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
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    I am glad to see you are feeling better
    I am glad to see you are feeling better. I also had the numb but hurting feeling , but mine was just under the arm pit. It was that way for a little over a month (I never had any PT I don't know why my dr did not tell me to go). It drove me crazy too, I as so happy when it started to feel "normal" again. My Dr said it had something to do with the nerves being cut and it would just take time to feel better. I had my surgery Feb 28th and just noticed it not hurting a couple days ago. I also had the anxiety of being left alone (well alone as you can get with 2 small kids and a puppy). I come on here and read up on everybody just so I don't feel alone. I wish the chat worked for me but I can not get it to work :( I am also (get this) glad to have radiation everyday just so I get out of the house to see adults (sick I know but I feel so alone. I end radiation in about a week and I hope I can handle the alone time).
    Hugs, Laura

    Dawne,
    I had numbness under both my arms as well. When they did my double they took the Sentinel node under each side. Mine felt more like a puckering feeling but my numbness stretched down the side of my torso and even around the backside of my underarm. As the weeks go by (Surgery was Feb 28th) it gets better and better. My breast surgeon said to do two different exercises. One was as mentioned earlier to slowly walk your fingers up a wall and get them as high as you can. The other is while your arm is dangling at your side start making slow circles with your arm. Each rotation make the circle bigger and bigger and as the circles get bigger you should be raising your arm towards the ceiling. Do this until you feel it and then slowly revert back to smaller circles. Not done yet... Now do the same thing in reverse.

    Anyways with me it wasn't so much the pain, I was more concerned with popping stitches or staples. About four weeks post op was when I was told to do these exercises, so you should be okay to start using that arm more but be careful and don't over do it.

    As far as sleeping, I think if your drains are out and you can tolerate it.. go for it. Once my drains were removed I slept on both sides and within a week I even at times slept on my stomach.

    Hugs my friend,
    Lorrie
  • Texasgirl10
    Texasgirl10 Member Posts: 668
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    Dawne,
    I had numbness under both my arms as well. When they did my double they took the Sentinel node under each side. Mine felt more like a puckering feeling but my numbness stretched down the side of my torso and even around the backside of my underarm. As the weeks go by (Surgery was Feb 28th) it gets better and better. My breast surgeon said to do two different exercises. One was as mentioned earlier to slowly walk your fingers up a wall and get them as high as you can. The other is while your arm is dangling at your side start making slow circles with your arm. Each rotation make the circle bigger and bigger and as the circles get bigger you should be raising your arm towards the ceiling. Do this until you feel it and then slowly revert back to smaller circles. Not done yet... Now do the same thing in reverse.

    Anyways with me it wasn't so much the pain, I was more concerned with popping stitches or staples. About four weeks post op was when I was told to do these exercises, so you should be okay to start using that arm more but be careful and don't over do it.

    As far as sleeping, I think if your drains are out and you can tolerate it.. go for it. Once my drains were removed I slept on both sides and within a week I even at times slept on my stomach.

    Hugs my friend,
    Lorrie

    Thanks
    Hey Lorrie,
    Thanks for the advice on the exercises. It's been 2 weeks today since my surgery, I can't believe it. I start PT next week. Infact I have a busy a week next week, PET scan, rads, onc, chemo.

    I am sorry that you had the numbness and puckering feeling too, but I am glad to know that I am not the only one. Man, I was starting to think there was something wrong with me lol. I want to sleep on my left side so bad, but I am afraid. I am still pretty tender and I am having visions of "popping" open if I sleep on my side. I guess time will make it all better.

    Well girl, I hope you are doing good today and enjoying life. I'll talk to you later,

    Hugs,

    Dawne
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
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    Thanks
    Hey Lorrie,
    Thanks for the advice on the exercises. It's been 2 weeks today since my surgery, I can't believe it. I start PT next week. Infact I have a busy a week next week, PET scan, rads, onc, chemo.

    I am sorry that you had the numbness and puckering feeling too, but I am glad to know that I am not the only one. Man, I was starting to think there was something wrong with me lol. I want to sleep on my left side so bad, but I am afraid. I am still pretty tender and I am having visions of "popping" open if I sleep on my side. I guess time will make it all better.

    Well girl, I hope you are doing good today and enjoying life. I'll talk to you later,

    Hugs,

    Dawne

    You're so sweet Dawne, I am
    You're so sweet Dawne, I am doing well thank you. Wow girlfriend you do have a busy week scheduled. So you will be doing your second round of chemo right along with your rads huh? Good way to get it all done I guess, but take care of yourself.

    As for popping open... LOL, that was my main concern too. But two weeks after my surgery my plastic surgeon started putting saline into my tissue expanders. So after two weeks of healing those incision sites must have some strength to them or my "new girls" would have made a grand appearance.

    Keep in touch and you can IM me if you want to talk about goofy stuff.. LOL

    Hugs back,
    Lorrie
  • poplolly
    poplolly Member Posts: 346
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    Actually, I now feel very
    Actually, I now feel very lonely if he's gone. And I find myself worrying about his health. I don't think it's because I need taking care of, but because this disease can strike anyone. And I worry about my daughter-I don't want her to have this.
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
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    lonely
    You also can contact the Amrican cancer society to be linked with a person who has had a similar experience in your local area. Your's is a bit more complicated I admit but even having phone contact when you are lonely could be of great help as it would be help in real time rather than waiting for replies.

    Yes the underarm feels numb. I always felt like there was a wad of flesh or buble under there, but there was not. I weigh a lot and part of my tumor went under my arm on the side of my breast a bit. That is I think why if felt funny under there, or maybe just the lymph node removal. But I looked under my arm a lot trying to insure there was nothing actually there.

    About sleep: Sleep with the surgery side up. With that position and putting a pillow under your arm to elevate it you will reduce your chances of lymphedma. I asked the surgeon about this technique as it reduces swelling. Your heart is just a bit off center below you left breast and it is always good to have the injured part above the level of your heart when possible. I asked if the lymph nodes left behind will take up the slack when it comes to removing lymph fluid. He said yes. He liked that I was elevating my arm when sleeping. Of course the pillow falls out but I would just put it back if I woke up.

    God bless you throught the sped up regimen you are starting. Keep in touch.