I am so pissed!

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r2424243
r2424243 Member Posts: 51
in Colorectal Cancer #1
My dad has stage 4 colon cancer with mets to liver. Inoperable. He is 61 years old and having a really hard time. He was just starting to "deal" with the cancer and the other day I took him to chemo, we got home and his girlfriend had moved out!!! She said it is too much work to take care of him. He was heartbroken. He had no idea that she was leaving. He is soooooo sad. Now he is having severe anxiety and is a nervous wreck. WHO would do something like that, not only move out but SNEAK and leave him. It is very sad. I just needed to vent!

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  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    #2
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    how sad
    your poor dad. he is lucky to have you

    hugs
    pete
  • canadian4sure
    canadian4sure Member Posts: 5
    #3
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    Your Dad
    I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. It is cruel that someone who professed to be his girlfriend would leave him at a time when emotional support is really needed. However, this can be a blessing in disguise. Your Dad is better off without her if she is going to take the coward's way out instead of committing to him and being his caregiver. But what is important, is that you, the son are there. Be strong for him and help him be strong. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

    Brent, aka canadian4sure
    Cancer survivor
  • Lilmiss82
    Lilmiss82 Member Posts: 257 Member
    #4
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    canadian4sure said:

    Your Dad
    I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. It is cruel that someone who professed to be his girlfriend would leave him at a time when emotional support is really needed. However, this can be a blessing in disguise. Your Dad is better off without her if she is going to take the coward's way out instead of committing to him and being his caregiver. But what is important, is that you, the son are there. Be strong for him and help him be strong. My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

    Brent, aka canadian4sure
    Cancer survivor

    I have one word
    for that woman and it rhymes with witch. They say a persons true colors shine through in times of distress.In my opinion she sounds very selfish. Like Bret said this is probably a blessing in disguise and your dad deserves better. My thoughts are with you guys -Melissa
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #5
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    So sorry
    I'm so sorry for your father's heart, he must feel like it's breaking, and that tugs at my heart. But I say good riddance, if she couldn't handle it, then she wasn't in love and he's better off without her.
    Now if you can get working on fewer pain pills for him, getting him to walk a bit more, he'll start feeling better and maybe can put a bit of the heartbreak behind him.
    Wishing you the best.
    Winter Marie
  • Lovekitties
    Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
    #6
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    Understandable feelings
    There are lots of relationships that don't survive a cancer diagnosis, whether they be "good friends", signifcant others or married. Not easy to be the one left and feeling heartbroken. It is not just the desertion which hurts, but also the realization that what you had with that person must not have been real.

    The only thing to do is to move forward. Not easy and not simple, but just as with cancer, do we have any choice?

    Tell Dad that there are lots of ladies out there, even ones with cancer, who would look kindly on forming a friendship with him...because I am sure that is true. The people who know the worst about us and still give us a smile and stand by us are the ones worth having.

    Hugs to you both,

    Marie who loves kitties
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #7
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    Stinks;
    That really stinks. Not saying anything just moving is so very hurtful. Unfortunately, I have read this stuff over and over, the caregiver saying "Oh poor me". Don't they realize how the patient really doesn't need anything more on their plate! Well it is done and hopefully your dad can move on.

    Now practical advise:

    Change the locks so she can't come in while you are gone.
    Block her phone number if possible so calls to your dad will not go through. She may try and contact him with the "poor me" crap looking for financial assistance or something.
    Anything your dad has that has her name on it, get her name off. She bailed so she is on her own. What I mean is stuff like car insurance, cell phone, credit/debit card, any bank accounts, 401K, retirement, anything.

    I'm sorry this happened. As your dad progresses in treatment he may need some help. Guys really are not good at cleaning the bathroom, groceries, laundry, stuff like that. Give it some thought as just how you and others can help while keeping him independent.

    Best wishes - Tina (caregiver)

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