Apr 29, 2011 - 7:36 pm
Today it consumes me
Sad, angry, frozen, trapped, obsessed. Truth is I've felt like this for days
Stopped taking Cybalta, it was making my heart do hula hoops
Took the week off to start my disability, and in two weeks I'm going to Europe
Problem is this is a first step to retirement, maybe a first step to giving up
Or letting go
Is it the beginning?
I am haunted by a guy, a six year survivor, who told me I had a year to live
Not on purpose. I don't think he knows he said it
Then by another guy who thought his thread about Irenotecan and post surgery mortality was a question about Folfox and possible liver damage
Oh, and that we were being denied the benefits of placebos
Drained, empty, lethargic.
Maybe next week will be better