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How do you all find the strength to do it???

AmylynnC
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2011

I am new to this site as so many because we are now going through my husband's second round. In July 2009 he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer with Met in the liver. It was a shock to us as I never knew he had any symptoms because we were only married for 2 months at the time. He had a colon resection in July 2009 at a hospital that looking back was a big mistake. They never did a CT and we did not know about the liver until after his colon surgery. After 2 months recovery he started 2 months of Chemo at a different hospital and had a liver resection in January 2010 followed by 4 more months of Chemo. He was cancer free for almost 6 months and now they have found it at the resection site in his colon. After 3 months of a circus act at his last hospital we have changes hospitals and doctors again and preparing for a third surgery in two weeks.

I have been really strong through most of this as my husband also has ADHD with depression and anxiety. But it is getting really hard to deal with every day as he is having major bowel issues. I think he would be happier with a permanent colostomy bag but that scares the daylights out of him.

I have tried therapy with a counselor but all she told me was to not baby him so much and stop doing so much for him...he has cancer along with all the health problems that go with it. He does a lot around the house but you can tell it is wearing on his spirit.

Thanks for listening and I would love any suggestions!
~Amy

rogina2336's picture
rogina2336
Posts: 188
Joined: Apr 2011

I am driven by love and hope. Although my husband does not have ADHD he does become angry and verbal at times. Do you have any family or friends that can give you a break? :-) Kim

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1611
Joined: Aug 2009

One way to deal with it is to come here as you did. Many here are or have struggled with many of the same things you are. It helps to know that you are not alone. My husband passed away from colon cancer in 2009. He survived for a little longer than 6 years with multiple surgeries and a lot of chemo. I agree that it is love that keeps us going. It's amazing what we can do for love. Staying positive doesn't mean that you have to always be cheerful. It's ok to get mad at this terrible disease. Beside I think this positive stuff is overrated at times. When you get mad or down, come here to vent and seek support. You are always welcome to PM me, too. I think the only way you keep going is to take care of yourself. Do something that makes you feel good whether it's a walk or a massage. Take one day at a time or even one minute at a time when things get particularly difficult. Remember that the best you can do, is the best you can do. Cut yourself some slack. Ask friends and family to lend a hand. Take care, Fay

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