Apr 22, 2011 - 8:22 pm
I will try to make this short... (hard to do, I know).
Family visits is the subject I am speaking of.
Bob had his first "BAD WEEKEND" last weekend and I am not sure how to handle the family. We are a step family so that makes me the enemy sometimes. I won't go into all the details because it would take pages to explain here. Just know that my biggest support went down for the count for 3 days with head pain and slept for most of those days. Scared me to death. He has a sister that wanted to visit him, a daughter that wanted to come and another daughter who is disabled and lives right now with her mother and wanted to drop her off for a couple of hours so she could visit with her dad (conveniently so the mother and her boyfriend could do something else I later found out). The disabled daughter used to live with us until one year ago and Bob has raised her.
NOW... I did explain to everyone that their dad was "sick" this weekend. That he was getting up, taking pain medication and going back to bed. (Mind you he's been at this for 6 months not... surgeries, brain mets, etc.) The sister just wants to know when is the "best" time to come over, see? In the last 12 years that Bob and I have been together I can count on one hand the times she has been to our house. When the mother of the disabled daughter called to see if she could drop the daughter off, I was crying in the bathroom... I guess everyone was getting "pissy" at me by the end of the day for placing boundaries up on the visiting issue. "Well... could they just could they just come and sit quietly?... the sister asked, when this happens again to Bob?
Am I missing something here? Bob is not on his death bed yet... he was having a REALLY bad weekend and evidently so was I and no one noticed.
I tried to enlist the help of the sister but it backfired... she tried to "gorilla" me, by this I mean take control. She wanted to know exactly when this and how that, she couldn't see that there would be days that no one could visit.
Am I wrong here?
I can't be the only one that needs privacy at times?