Apr 20, 2011 - 12:06 pm
I recently met someone and started seeing them for approximately couple months. About a month ago (just little longer) started feeling very sick and messaged me to inform me that he has cancer and said he would understand if I no longer was interested. Knowing this was not going to be an easy road and things were going to get tough I reassured him that I was going to be there in whatever aspect he wanted to support him and I would do what I could to support him through this long road. He was admitted and had his brother get him my number to call me to inform me was admitted. During the first few weeks in hospital I would go to visit and during that time met members of his family. He was affectionate (hugging me, kissing me, saying hun, babe) infront of family and in general. He went for surgery to remove the lymphnods in his neck and I saw him that night and he was in rough shape. That Wednesday I got a text message from him saying "can't do this right now and best of luck and take care". Needles to say I was hurt and upset. We ended up talking on the phone that night and he broke down saying not used to having one take care of him and nothing in his life ever ends right and didnt want to hurt or let me down (not knowing what would happen with "us" or in general". I distanced myself as he didn't want me to stop by if family was there. I would call once a week over past couple of weeks. Our conversations are very short as it seems never call at "right time". This past week I called and he was very upset that I called and woke him up and hung the phone up on me and then told me the other day when called it hurts to much to answer the phone (which I can understand sitting up). I am at a loss of what to do. Do I just back away from it all (which is going to hard as I care deeply for him and feel like I am invovled now) or is it ok to stop by maybe drop a card off. I don't know the family so not sure if thats an option to talk to them about situation. I don't want to add any extra stress for him at all!! I have told him that through this process "the relationship" is not important I am someone who cares as a friend. I am desperate for advice on what to do?? Any helpful suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Needless to say I am scared and feel helpless not being able to do anything or knowing what to do.