5 Year Cancerversary & Pregnancy

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onwithlife
onwithlife Member Posts: 1
in Breast Cancer #1
So............the day I thought would never come is almost upon us. Five years ago this May I could only dream in terms of "5 years from now" my life will be back to normal.......hair long again, off medication, breasts reconstructed. And now that I'm almost there....I don't even know how to feel. I was young when diagnosed, and only have one child. But having another child so long after the first suddenly is hard and we are left feeling torn between the life we always dreamed of and the life we now lead.

Anyone else struggle with pregnancy thoughts after your five years? What did anyone to do celebrate?? How does one celebrate/remember the worst day of their life??

Thank you so much for your thoughts and opinions!!!

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  • sal314
    sal314 Member Posts: 599 Member
    #2
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    I Understand!
    I was diagnosed at 35 with a 15 month old son. I remember one of the first questions I asked my oncologist after being diagnosed was if I would be able to have anymore children.! LOL. Never mind having my life possibly cut short! I always wanted to have a second child.

    Well, he said he didn't know of course. At that time (this was almost 10 years ago) they wanted you to wait the five years. I didn't think I had that much time. So we started trying after about two years post treatment. It was difficult. I got pregnant after about 6 months of trying, but sadly it was a tubal pregnancy. We then tried again and really struggled. I went to a fertility specialist who told me I have less than a 3% chance of having a child with my own eggs. And..I only had one ovary! (that's another long story!)

    Anyway...my husband and I didn't think the donor egg thing was for us. Not to mention we didn't have 20 grand to throw into the wind! So... we decided to do a lot of praying, I did some natural supplements, and leave it in God's hands. If He wanted us to have another child, He would give one to us.

    Well, about 4 months later I was pregnant! My daughter is now 6 and life, though crazy, is good! I, like you, refused to give cancer all the power of living my life to the fullest! I know many people would disagree and think it's "wrong" to have kids after a cancer diagnosis. BUT...there are no guarantees in life. Who knows, other than God, how long we have? I could as easily die today in a car accident!

    Anyway...that's my story. I say follow your heart. Trust in God. And whatever happens is meant to be! :)

    Blessings,
    Sally
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    #3
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    I can't speak to having
    I can't speak to having children after cancer, but I think you should do what is right for you. My kids are 10 (girl) and almost 15 (boy), so I can speak to having them years apart.

    The icky stuff...they have almost nothing in common so it is very difficult to find things (games, movies, etc.) the whole family can enjoy. When my daughter was an infant/toddler I really felt like I was starting over, getting back into the rhythm of diapers etc. was hard. My son is very good at picking on or teasing my daughter (that might be true no matter how many years separate them).

    The good stuff...I really feel like I have been able to give each child their own time. I was home with my kids when they were little, they both got lots of one on one time with me and my husband. I think that has made them better stronger people, more secure in their own values and decisions. Although he picks on her, my son truly looks out for his sister (should be interesting to watch when she starts liking boys). We only have to deal with high school teenage stuff one at a time, and we'll only have to pay for one college at a time.

    Of course there is more, but I hope this helps.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • mwallace1325
    mwallace1325 Member Posts: 806
    #4
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    Way too old
    I'm way too old to contemplate pregnancy, the two grand kids I'm raising are 18 and 15, so I have no advice there. You and your husband will know the right answer for youselves. Just give it some time, thought and prayer.

    As for your celebration, remember you're not celebrating the worst news you've ever gotten but winning the battle against that worst news.

    Whatever you do, I hope it's wonderful, and I can't wait to hit that 5 year mark. Mine is 2 this Friday, so I've got a long way to go.

    Enjoy and happy anniversary.

    marge
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #5
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    I was 61
    when dx and have 6 grandchildren. I'm approaching my one year cancerversary. I would celebrate that you have been cancer free for 5 years and are about to give life once again. How wonderful!
    {{hugs}} Char
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #6
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    I have not had to handle
    I have not had to handle pregnancy issues since I was in late 40 with my BC...

    I just past my 3 yrs post surgery (June will be end of radiation)

    I am waiting to get to 5 yrs...I DON"T THINK it means as much to others as it does to us..

    I JUST hit my 3 yrs on APRIL 3 (sugery date) and said to my hubby...wow today is 3 yrs..and he said oh!

    same thing on my anniversary-no real commment...and that is the date I REMEMBER as the most IMPORTANT ONE TO ME>..the end of it all...well the end of ordeal..of course still go to onolcogist @ 3mths etc...

    Denise

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