I was in a great mood today. Lots of energy - just like my old self so I started
cleaning out the attic for a huge garage sale I'm having Sat. when I found Paul's letters that he had written to me from Viet Nam (before we were married). I was so happy to find them since I thought they got lost in one of our moves. I put them aside and continued to work on getting things done. Later I looked into the box. I had numbered them (sometimes I'm smart). There were 67 in all. I picked one randomly and started to read it. You guessed it - the tears came pouring out. It's only the second time I actually bawled since January when he died. After my crying spell I felt terrible. I changed my shirt and went down to the local berry farm where I bought a waffle cone. I just sat in my car looking at a wig catalog I got in the mail and then just staring out into the berry fields. My mind was blank. I had been eating healthy and excercising up to this point. I was feeling great until I read that letter. It just killed my whole day. I haven't been working as much as I should anyway (self-employed - I work from home)and this really made we want to just curl up into a ball. I think maybe I'll put away the letters until I can handle them a little better. Right now I have too many things on my plate to be crashing and burning. I'm not pushing myself like I did at the beginning and I feel better about that, but I am still fragile. It's been four months and I just want to get on with my life but it only takes something small to rock my boat.
Have any of you had a similar experience?