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Vacation's over *sigh*

upsofloating's picture
upsofloating
Posts: 473
Joined: Dec 2009

It was fun while it lasted but my chemo 'vacation' is about over. Yesterday's ca125 was 599 up from a pretty little 12 at the beginning of January. Haven't seen PET/CT report (squeaky clean in January)but briefly reviewed on phone w/NP, multiple foci in L subclavicular lymph node, plus some questionable areas in abdomen. I asked to see if they can get me in Friday to see Gyn-Onc or just wait till appt next Tues. Tests were prescheduled, routine quarterly follow-up. Last abnormal PET/CT was Dec '09, all scans in 2010 were clean.

Can't say I am asymptomatic as I woke up Saturday to see a notable swelling at base of neck above collar bone and noted that that side of my face was a bit puffy. Needless to say, i am feeling a bit panicky -- this is too close to my brain for comfort.

I spent most of 2010 in treatment Doxil x2 rnds (didn't do much) and then Gemzar knocked everything back to normal. In January, Dr offered staying on Gemzar as a long term maintenance chemo but I had to opt for a break :( No do-overs now!
Annie

Sara Zipora's picture
Sara Zipora
Posts: 227
Joined: Sep 2010

What a bummer, but you have given it the ole college try and succeeded in the past and no doubt will succeed against those buggers again.

You have given me, for one, a lot of strength,I hope I can do the same for you.

Lots of (((hugs))) and prayers,
Sara

kkstef's picture
kkstef
Posts: 706
Joined: May 2008

Annie, I was so saddened when I read your update! You have done everything you can to kick this "C" thing....just a BIG BUMMER!!

Will be anxious to hear what your gyn onc has to say. Just know we are all here to listen and help you through this bump in the road! I am just so sorry to hear your news!

Sending big hugs your way!

Karen

Deb4417
Posts: 22
Joined: Mar 2011

I am praying for you Annie, you can lick this again!!!

Deb4417

Rewriter's picture
Rewriter
Posts: 496
Joined: Dec 2009

Annie--

You have been such a source of strength and comfort for the women on this board, and now the tables will be turned. I am so sorry to hear your news, but I hope that you can kick butt this time, too. I wish that there was something I could do...

With much caring,

Jill

lindaprocopio's picture
lindaprocopio
Posts: 2022
Joined: Oct 2008

The wonderful thing about achieving a long remission like you did, is that you can return to the "good" first line-type chemo drugs that can shoot you right back into ANOTHER long remission! It still sucks, of course, but you are battle-ready now and I just know you'll beat the beast right back to nothing. Let us know what they recommend. Maybe suggest a return to Gemzar since that was so successful for you before. (((Annie))).

Cindy Bear
Posts: 564
Joined: Jul 2009

Sorry to hear about the number rising and the test showing something.. Please don't beat yourself up, it's so easy to second guess yourself. I think most of the people here would have done exactly the same thing, opted for a chemo break.
I'm sure they will come up with a good plan for you.
Hugs,
Cindy

Ro10's picture
Ro10
Posts: 1482
Joined: Jan 2009

I am so sorry you number has risen so much since January. You had a nice break, and I am sure you enjoyed being treatment free. Sorry to hear you are having some symptoms, too.

I hope you get a new plan soon, and can have another vacation very soon. In peace and caring.

Kaleena's picture
Kaleena
Posts: 1226
Joined: Nov 2009

Annie:

Just a little "bumpy" ride in your "vacation". Sending healing thoughts and hugs your way.

Kathy

Double Whammy's picture
Double Whammy
Posts: 2335
Joined: Jun 2010

Hope you get to see your gyn onc soon so you'll know what your next plan will include. Try not to think about all the what if's had you not taken your break from chemo. I would think that your body has regained a lot of strength during its vacation and will be able to meet this new challenge well.

Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way.

Suzanne

susafina
Posts: 134
Joined: May 2010

Hi Annie
I am so sorry to hesr about your vacation being over. Allright time to work again then you will have another big vacation from this whole thing. Just to remind you that we are all thinking about you and thinking good thoughts for you. Remember you will get through this!!!
Much love and prayers,
SUE

susafina
Posts: 134
Joined: May 2010

Hi Annie
I am so sorry to hesr about your vacation being over. Allright time to work again then you will have another big vacation from this whole thing. Just to remind you that we are all thinking about you and thinking good thoughts for you. Remember you will get through this!!!
Much love and prayers,
SUE

HellieC's picture
HellieC
Posts: 459
Joined: Nov 2010

So sorry to hear the results of your most recent follow up. Like all the ladies here, i applaud you for the help and support you have given so freely. I have everything crossed (and more besides) that they can knock this back again. Please keep us posted - remember we're all here to share the good, the bad and the down right ugly!
Thinking of you
Helen

upsofloating's picture
upsofloating
Posts: 473
Joined: Dec 2009

Thank you all so much for your kind words, positive thoughts, and well wishes! I'm talking myself out of the tree :-) Time to get into battle mode again. It was the suddenness that got me this time. First recurrence was an on/off-again for a year before I got serious about restarting chemo. This time it was 0-60 in a seeming nanosecond. But then, who ever expected the diagnosis in the first place? I guess it'll always be a learning experience in a class I never wanted to take.

Tomorrow, off for a day with my daughter and little grandson! Life is more than this damn cancer and must enjoy it while I can.

Positive thoughts to all, at whatever stage you are battling that which has brought us together. Annie

minniejan
Posts: 88
Joined: Dec 2010

Ditto to everything posted above. I am somewhat new to this board, having been diagnosed in December 2010. I read posts almost daily, and have learned so much from everyone on here already. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

MinnieJan

Songflower's picture
Songflower
Posts: 632
Joined: Apr 2009

It's so hard even though I know most of us know it can happen at any time. You needed a chemo break. The gemzar will knock it back into another remission. my prayers are with you.

Diane

jazzy1's picture
jazzy1
Posts: 1387
Joined: Mar 2010

Oh I hate to read this stuff. Now that you've gotten yourself out of the trees I'm sure you can get the battle gear on and force forward with a vengeance. Unfortunately, there's no true path to our journey with life, just take whatever hits us and learn to deal with it. One thing I'm sure, you're stronger then ever before.

Go get 'em girl...sending positive vibes your way!!
((( hugs )))
Jan

daisy366's picture
daisy366
Posts: 1493
Joined: Mar 2009

Glad you are getting through the shock and getting into warrior mode.

I also have UPSC and had mets to a supraclavicular lymph nodes - location sounds same as you described. My doc thought a synergistic approach was warranted - doing 7 weeks of chemo and radiation simultaneously - carboplatin weekly and tomo (low dose) radiation M-F. Seems to have done the trick for now - NED holding steady.

Hang in there and keep us posted on your battle plan. You have my thoughts and prayers.

Mary Ann

RoseyR
Posts: 464
Joined: Feb 2011

Annie,

You are such a beautiful woman, physically (so your photo suggests), intellectually, and spiritually, so we know you can beat this back again. In a better world you wouldn't HAVE to--but we are here to support you in any way we can.

In the meantime, would suggest Michael Murray's book How to Prevent and Treat Cancer with Natural Medicine, offering tips on supplements that actually enhance chemo's effectiveness and mitigate some of its side effects. Backed up by clinical studies.

Hugs from all of us!
Love,
Rosey

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