Does the bottom drop out like this for anyone else here?

BioAdoptMom
BioAdoptMom Member Posts: 358
in Breast Cancer #1
It seems like every time we have seen a doctor (just was diagnosed in mid January, have had lumpectomy, 1 re-excision and no other treatment yet, but have consulted with RO and MO) I feel upbeat and encouraged. I will usually come home, email my friends and family and post on my FB page a brief update. People always comment about my positive attitude (of course few if any of these people see us at our worst moments). I really do feel postive right after these visits. But the next day (every time so far) I am back to feeling nervous, worried, irritable and down, not unbearably so, but a definite difference from the day before. Does this happen to anyone else? I can't understand how I can feel so upbeat and encouraged one day, and not the next!

Thanks for listening.

Nancy

Comments

  • sunshine0406
    sunshine0406 Member Posts: 65
    #2
    Happens to me. I Have what
    Happens to me. I Have what seems like a good day then I think maybe the gravity of the situation sets in, I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I have good days and bad days. I usually feel a bit down when I am home alone (well alone as you can get with two small kids around). I try to concentrate on the positive, but sometimes it is hard. I when it does happen I try to listen to upbeat music (because sad songs just bring me down more) and play a game with the kids or text my friend who has a way to make me happy no matter how down I am. one of my favorite songs "if your going through hell" by Rodney Atkins that is if you like country music. Good luck, I hope it helps to know your not alone.
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member
    #3
    sunshine0406 said:

    Happens to me. I Have what
    Happens to me. I Have what seems like a good day then I think maybe the gravity of the situation sets in, I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I have good days and bad days. I usually feel a bit down when I am home alone (well alone as you can get with two small kids around). I try to concentrate on the positive, but sometimes it is hard. I when it does happen I try to listen to upbeat music (because sad songs just bring me down more) and play a game with the kids or text my friend who has a way to make me happy no matter how down I am. one of my favorite songs "if your going through hell" by Rodney Atkins that is if you like country music. Good luck, I hope it helps to know your not alone.

    mood swings
    I am having these days lately.Happy one day upset the next.Usually not like that at all but some days the cancer things gets to me.I go on shopping sprees just to get out.I like to drive and listen to the radio but some of the songs make me cry.I cry quietly or someimes before I go to bed.BUT I try to get my prayer in every night before bed.My Husband wouldn't understand.I can't tell him how I feel.

    A few times lately he's talked about our burial plot.Said we should make a decision and do it.Well it has been 1 1/2 years but cancer is still new to me.Would be hard to do that now.Might need to but I'm not ready.Another thing he keeps talking about how he's going to die before me.He is 5 years older but he doesn't have cancer.I'm just not in the mood to talk about it. But he keeps talking about death.Never did before so I don't get it.

    Right now I am going through it.Have felt bad all day.I feel like crying but it would make me more miserable than I already am.Most of us are all in early diagnosis and I guess why we feel this way.I've read a few where it has been 9 years etc but mostly we are new.Just a few years . My friends are long term survivors and none of them were ever on a chat board.One friend prefers not to hear about things.

    Lynn Smith
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    #4
    YES! Completely normal!
    And I am also a positive person (probably a little PollyAnna-ish), but it sometimes angers me when too much emphasis is placed on maintaining a positive attitude. As in, you have to smile and fight 24/7 or your cancer will return. I think that is a "blame the victim" mentality. There is evidence that a positive attitude, while of course helpful, does not affect prognosis.

    Positive Attitude Doesn't Whip Cancer

    Your feelings are normal and justifiable. But also, don't forget, the risk of depression and anxiety is increased after a cancer diagnosis. Your docs know this. So, if it is too much, ask for help. Most of us have.
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #5
    ups and downs
    Mostly I am up at present, but I have only gotten as far as surgery. I figure there are more down days comming(but hopefully more up than down). Yesterday was a down day, as I had discovered I had been misinformed on the type of bc I had. Despite this I did not want the person who misinformed me to get in trouble. When the surgeon found out he called me back right away and did give me the correct information (for which I was greatful). To add to this I got a call from work and was told I was being accused of doing something wrong a couple of days before surgery took place. Do I need this right now? Not really. Just another worry to add to the other factors that I seem to be keeping in a relativly good perspective. I have to let go and let God take care of the last one I guess.

    Lynn, is your spouse trying to perhaps lift your spirits by saying he is likely to die first despite your diagnosis? Maybe??? My spouse is 4 1/2 years older and he often insinuated he would die first even before bc. We had also discussed a bit of the funeral planning at various times prior to bc. So if he brought it up now i would not think it so odd. I admit it would be harder to take though had the subject not come up earlier.
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #6
    sorry you are feeling this way at times
    I think everyone has good and bad days....depends on how much free time you have to THINK and mind to wonder or if busy with work, family, friends etc...

    try using a journal...I have mentioned here before but very helpful to me...IN THE MOMENT I did not think so ..but in hind sight...it was great help...

    Denise
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691
    #7
    I was upbeat and positive

    I was upbeat and positive and grateful all the way through surgery, chemo and radiation and for several months during herceptin and then I don't know what has happened int he last 3 months but I have had so many down days. The part I find difficult is that friends and family are so used to me being so upbeat during the worst part of treatment they don't understand my down days they want me to be upbeat. That is alright, they don't really understand and I admit in those down moments I prefer a little solitude to do my best to reach inwards for strength. Life is constantly changing and I am learning to ride this wave.
  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
    #8
    Yes this happens to me..
    I talked to my Dr. about it and told him that about once or twice a month I get really low, anxious and weepy. He clapped his hands and said that was really healthy as he has only seen me upset really one time, and that was with the diagnosis. Told me I was fighting for my life and he had been worried that I was in denial. He just didn't see me every day.

    Sometimes I just don't want to be 'Miss Polly Sunshine', so I am not! Fortunately, I am not prone to depression but with this illness, I do get depressed. Sometimes it lasts an hour sometimes a day and I ride it out and dig out! As I really do like having fun!

    ~Carol
  • BioAdoptMom
    BioAdoptMom Member Posts: 358
    #9
    camul said:

    Yes this happens to me..
    I talked to my Dr. about it and told him that about once or twice a month I get really low, anxious and weepy. He clapped his hands and said that was really healthy as he has only seen me upset really one time, and that was with the diagnosis. Told me I was fighting for my life and he had been worried that I was in denial. He just didn't see me every day.

    Sometimes I just don't want to be 'Miss Polly Sunshine', so I am not! Fortunately, I am not prone to depression but with this illness, I do get depressed. Sometimes it lasts an hour sometimes a day and I ride it out and dig out! As I really do like having fun!

    ~Carol

    You guys always make me feel
    You guys always make me feel sooooooooooooooooo much better! Thank you for your empathy and wise advice on dealing with this issue! I just love you all already!

    Nancy
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member
    #10
    BioAdoptMom said:

    You guys always make me feel
    You guys always make me feel sooooooooooooooooo much better! Thank you for your empathy and wise advice on dealing with this issue! I just love you all already!

    Nancy

    laughs_a_lot
    You mentioned did my husband talk this way before??? Not so much that he will go first but he did bring up burials(maybe once/twice a year.)Not I will outlive him.It has been more lately than I want to hear.I tell him I don't want to talk about it now"He asks why not"??? I answer "Just Don't". Really I want to talk about living.He tells me more and more now he doesn't know what he would do without me.That is another things he talks so much more about. None of us know.Life is uncertain.Car wrecks and so many other things can take us.I remember my mom's cousin was 89 years old and died in a terrible auto accident.Senseless.He was old but a bad way to go. He had more years ahead of him. Life is "never knowing what will happen".

    One thing I do talk with him about is our "will".It is so important to me that our sons and grandkids get it all and no one who would come along for just a few years and expect to take what we worked hard for. We discuss that and that is a priority. A friend and classmate just passed a month ago.She had been fighting bc (recurrance) for a year.Her husband said they just had a attorney to the house that week for some work.I feel that is to late to write a will. We will change ours.We need to word things differently.But that is one thing he kinda blows off.I will need to take the lead on that.

    Lynn Smith

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