CSN Login
Members Online: 23

would some of you write some encouraging words to my mother

Lisa13Q's picture
Lisa13Q
Posts: 683
Joined: Jul 2009

She has been doing great until this last round of taxol...it has knocked her on her butt! She needs a break...Her CA-125 has gone from 136 to 104, and her blood counts have held their own, they are low, but not transfusion low....the past few days she can't do anything and is feeling discouraged.....and anxious....I go over the numbers with her, but they don't make her feel better...she won't join the board but sometimes I read the board to her......Her name is Joan.... she is a tough old bird......78 years young....the cancer is in her liver, tiny spots on her abdomen, but we haven't been too concerned about that...it was the liver met that grew over 1.25 inches in 2 months over x-mas......anything would be appreciated......Thanks, Lisa

kikz's picture
kikz
Posts: 1275
Joined: Jun 2010

when you feel like crap day after day. Intellectually we know we will feel better but when we are in the middle of it, that thought doesn't help. My son used to tell me, mom, you know you'll feel better in a few days. Well, I know he was trying to help and even though I knew what he was saaying was true, it didn't help me feel better. Your daughter says you are tough. That reminds me of my mom. She is 86 and is still working at the same job she has worked at for 42 years. She is working part time now but it keeps her going. She has had rheumatoid arthritis since 1986 and heart surgery in 1999. I retired after my treatment. I had been telling my mom I would retire before her (I'm 63) and I did. Unfortunately it was not for the reason I thought I would. Anyway please stick it out. I ended up in the ER four times and was hospitalized twice during the chemo. But I am feeling great now and am so happy to be alive and with my family and friends. It's hard and I sometimes think those of us with this disease are hand-picked because we are tough and can get through it. I never thought of myself as tough or brave but so many people have told me I am because they saw what I went through. But through it all it was just wanting to survive, not wanting to leave the people I love. I am sorry I rambled Joan, but please hang in there.

Karen

Lisa13Q's picture
Lisa13Q
Posts: 683
Joined: Jul 2009

Karen

thanks for the nice note...Mom really appreciated it... she mostly appreciated being able to relate and the kind words of encouragement.....

kikz's picture
kikz
Posts: 1275
Joined: Jun 2010

when you feel like crap day after day. Intellectually we know we will feel better but when we are in the middle of it, that thought doesn't help. My son used to tell me, mom, you know you'll feel better in a few days. Well, I know he was trying to help and even though I knew what he was saaying was true, it didn't help me feel better. Your daughter says you are tough. That reminds me of my mom. She is 86 and is still working at the same job she has worked at for 42 years. She is working part time now but it keeps her going. She has had rheumatoid arthritis since 1986 and heart surgery in 1999. I retired after my treatment. I had been telling my mom I would retire before her (I'm 63) and I did. Unfortunately it was not for the reason I thought I would. Anyway please stick it out. I ended up in the ER four times and was hospitalized twice during the chemo. But I am feeling great now and am so happy to be alive and with my family and friends. It's hard and I sometimes think those of us with this disease are hand-picked because we are tough and can get through it. I never thought of myself as tough or brave but so many people have told me I am because they saw what I went through. But through it all it was just wanting to survive, not wanting to leave the people I love. I am sorry I rambled Joan, but please hang in there.

Karen

kikz's picture
kikz
Posts: 1275
Joined: Jun 2010

when you feel like crap day after day. Intellectually we know we will feel better but when we are in the middle of it, that thought doesn't help. My son used to tell me, mom, you know you'll feel better in a few days. Well, I know he was trying to help and even though I knew what he was saaying was true, it didn't help me feel better. Your daughter says you are tough. That reminds me of my mom. She is 86 and is still working at the same job she has worked at for 42 years. She is working part time now but it keeps her going. She has had rheumatoid arthritis since 1986 and heart surgery in 1999. I retired after my treatment. I had been telling my mom I would retire before her (I'm 63) and I did. Unfortunately it was not for the reason I thought I would. Anyway please stick it out. I ended up in the ER four times and was hospitalized twice during the chemo. But I am feeling great now and am so happy to be alive and with my family and friends. It's hard and I sometimes think those of us with this disease are hand-picked because we are tough and can get through it. I never thought of myself as tough or brave but so many people have told me I am because they saw what I went through. But through it all it was just wanting to survive, not wanting to leave the people I love. I am sorry I rambled Joan, but please hang in there.

Karen

kikz's picture
kikz
Posts: 1275
Joined: Jun 2010

for the threepeat.

Karen

NCEllen's picture
NCEllen
Posts: 117
Joined: Nov 2009

Joan - I do know how you feel. I feel well on the day of chemo and 3 days following
(currently on 2nd round of carbo/taxol, completed 3 out of 6, possibly 8 ).
On days 4 through 7 I feel so physically bad, I mentally wish I could go to sleep for the bad days and wake up when I feel better, but it's hard to sleep even with meds during those days. My bones ache, I'm numb..all of it. That was me last week.

But through it all my family also continues to encourage me night and day: 'you know you'll feel better in a few days' (sound familiar?)..and in my heart I know they're right and I know they love me dearly and don't want to see me hurting. The one thing I can do and I've allowed myself to (and it's OK with them), is that I cry a few tears. They and I know I don't mean to - but I complain, a little- maybe a little more than just a little. But the best thing for me that my family gives me when I'm feeling that low is like the song that goes- 'when you say nothing at all' - it's the touch, of holding hands with my daughter, of a long hug from my son, just to lean my head on my husbands shoulder..and I keep my eye on the prize - I will feel better, better and more. And I will finally do something that makes me smile. Today I potted some basil and rosemary.

I know I'll have to face the not so happy music again in a couple of weeks, but I keep that saying in my head --- 'the pain will go away, I will get better'. Prayers and Hugs coming your way...Ellen

Cindy Bear
Posts: 563
Joined: Jul 2009

Hello Joan. I am so sorry you are feeling so tired and weak. I cannot imagine how frustrating that must be for you. A good friend of mine, a lot younger than you, went thru treatment for breast cancer a few years back. Lumpectomy, chemo, radiation. It knocked her on her butt and she was only 45 at the time. She complained of unimaginable fatigue. And to be honest, the fatigue went away very gradually. She said it took a whole year, once treatment stopped before she had her energy back. But it did come back, she's doing well ... and you can do this too.. Please hang in there, better days are ahead. In the meantime, make a list of things you want to do when you're better, a trip, a day at the spa, a shopping spree.... Hang in there!!!
Hugs,
Cindy

clamryn's picture
clamryn
Posts: 508
Joined: Jun 2010

Joan, I know how the fatigue is. No one knows unless they experience it. Very hard to explain to someone that you just can't make yourself go. I have a spot on my liver too and it grew from the last time. Worries me a lot.

You can do it. I am 63 years old and my kids and others tell me I am a tough old bird too. I didn't think I could ever go through something like this. One of my sons told me that he is so proud of me. And I know who is proud of you.... your daughter Lisa. Just keep plugging. We can do this together. Wished I live close to you and we could go out for lunch.

Sending prayers your way for energy and healing.
Linda

Hissy_Fitz's picture
Hissy_Fitz
Posts: 1869
Joined: Sep 2009

Joan....Taxol kicked my butt, too. I finished with it in Jan and am still sleeping 12 hours a day. And I catch a nap every chance I get. Bear in mind, though, that it kicks Cancer's butt, as well. I think the idea behind chemo is to come as close as they can to killing us, without actually putting us in the ground.

I did 18 rounds of Taxol (plus six of Carboplatin), non-stop. It seems to have done the trick, for now, at least. I have been NED since this time last year, and probably a few months before that.

My hemoglobin isn't up to normal yet, even though I have been off the bug juice for two months. But the up-side to all this is that if you have daughters, they will come and clean your house. I haven't talked mine into doing the windows but I'm still working on her. And my husband has a close relationship now with the dishwasher and the washing machine, as well as other appliances. He recently bought himself a new self-propelled vacuum. Cooking does not seem to be on the horizon, sad to say, but he has cleaned the toilets more than a few times.

I take a multi-vitamin with iron every day. That might be something to think about.

Carlene

PS....you have a very special girl in Lisa, but I'm sure you know that already.

kayandok
Posts: 1223
Joined: Jun 2008

I just finished 16 doses of taxol, not to mention the 8 that I had, almost 4 years ago. It creeps up on you. One day you feel great, and then BANG! you want to go to bed for life! At least, that has been my experience. But, it does work, and when you come out of the fatigue fog, you feel so much better, you actually forget how bad it was. I guess that is why we keep going, right? I know you had the cisplatin (the hell chemo!) and doxil and lived to tell about it, so I know you can make this one too!

Meanwhile, tell Lisa what you need today to feel better and I know she will do what she can to help you. Maybe,you just need to give yourself a day off to snuggle with your pillow, even. Do you have anything on hand to take for anxiety? I think a lot of the gals take ativan or something like that for those panic days. I take a depas once in a while (a mild tranq) and give myself a couch day. When I do that, I don't lay any guilt trips on myself and just go for it. I used to feel somewhat "lazy" and "gulty" about it, but not anymore.

I cling to an encouraging word I heard from someone close to me. He said, "The road to healing is like the road to the summit of a mountain. Sometimes you have to go through the valleys before you can get there." Just wish it could be more of a straight shot!

Hey, good job on raising LIsa!

Hugs,
kathleen

childofthestars's picture
childofthestars
Posts: 246
Joined: Jan 2011

Lisa
Tell your lovely mum to hang on in there, she obviously has a very caring family around her. However sometimes during this 'journey' we do feel discouraged and quite frankly scared BUT I think its important to understand its OK to feel these things and its even a good thing. What is important though is that your mum allows herself to feel 'down' for a day or 2 but then picks herself up and carries on with the good fight. I think our psyche needs some down time to be able to deal with all the s***t!!
Sending you and your mum big ((hugs))
By the way I was on your side of the fence 13 years ago when my mum was diagnosed with ovca at the age of 53 so I unfortunately I have experience from both perspectives.
Michelle x

MK_4Dani
Posts: 318
Joined: Sep 2009

You ARE going to feel better! Your CA-125 is showing improvement which means the taxol is doing the job, unfortunatly at the expense of your energy. Do not to let it effect your fighting spirit. Slow down, take lots of naps, focus your mind to the healing powers of the taxol not the side effects.
Teal hugs..Never give up.
Mary

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network