Just found out I have to have chemo and am scared to death!!!

So sorry for the loss of
So sorry for the loss of your mom, that is hard even without cancer. The only thing I can say is that the anticipation of the chemo was worse than the chemo itself. It sucks and no getting around it, but as you will learn on this site, it is doable. The help I can give is talk to your doctor about a port and ask questions, and more questions. The nurse in the infusion room where I go is so helpful.

This is definately the right place to come for support! Everyone here is going through, or has gone through this and they are all so helpful and positive and the positivity spreads. Will keep you in my prayers.

RE said:

Welcome
Hi Susie, I am glad you came here as it is a great site with a very supportive group of folks. I realize hearing you have cancer is so scary then to hear you must have chemo can feel overwhelming it truly is doable and you will get through it so you can watch all the antics your twins have in store for you in the years to come. A few things you can do for yourself is always keep a note pad close as hand to jot down notes, questions for your doc etc. We often forget things and the notes help a lot. If your doctor tells you something you do not understand ask them to simplify it so you can understand it, always ask questions remember they work for you and most want you to understand your treatment. When you have chemo its important to drink lots of water to help to flush out your system. If you find yourself losing your taste buds or tasting a metallic taste when eating switch from metal to plastic utensils it will help ease some of that. Be kind to yourself and rest when ever possible, let those twins help mommy for a bit they will love caring for you. During my chemo my grandson was 3 and he helped me a lot and he entertained me a lot, little ones can bring much joy and stress relief. Cancer is scary but you can do this and we will be here for you every step of the way. Pop in when you have a question, concern or you just need to vent and we will be here.

I also wanted to tell you that I am truly sorry for your loss, Mom's are special as you know.

Big Hugs,

RE

You can do this
Hello Susie. First of all please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. As RE has said, Mom's are special and to lose one is devastating! I will say a prayer for you and your Mom.

Secondly, the dreaded "Chemo." I was terrified to have chemo! I had visions of laying on the bathroom floor puking my guts out. Well, surprise, guess what? With all the excellent anit-nausea meds they gave me, I never vomited. Not once! I was, however, nauseous at times, but I just took more medication and the nausea abated. Another fear I had was of losing my hair. After much discussion, my husband and I decided to shave my head before it began to fall out. I figured if I was going to go bald, I would do it on "my time." It took some getting used to (I felt that I looked like Buddha!) but after a week or two I hardly noticed it! I can even go out au naturale if I choose! RE gave you excellent advice on getting a port. It might seem like one more thing to do, but believe me, I am so glad I got one! I just finished chemo and am starting rads soon. My Onc wants me to keep it in for another 6 months at least and I have no problem with that. It really saved my veins. That chemo is caustic and can wreak havoc on sensitive veins. It's so easy for them to access your port. Takes about 3 mins. Ditto on the water. Drink, Drink, Drink, and then drink some more! You need to flush that nasty chemo out of your system. It will also prevent you from becoming dehydrated. I wound up with diarrhea each time and had to go for hydration each cycle! So it's vital to drink water!


I hope I have given you something worthwhile that you can use. I wish you the best of luck and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

"May you be at Peace; May you be Free of Suffering,"
Dianne

Hippiechick58 said:

You can do this
Hello Susie. First of all please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. As RE has said, Mom's are special and to lose one is devastating! I will say a prayer for you and your Mom.

Secondly, the dreaded "Chemo." I was terrified to have chemo! I had visions of laying on the bathroom floor puking my guts out. Well, surprise, guess what? With all the excellent anit-nausea meds they gave me, I never vomited. Not once! I was, however, nauseous at times, but I just took more medication and the nausea abated. Another fear I had was of losing my hair. After much discussion, my husband and I decided to shave my head before it began to fall out. I figured if I was going to go bald, I would do it on "my time." It took some getting used to (I felt that I looked like Buddha!) but after a week or two I hardly noticed it! I can even go out au naturale if I choose! RE gave you excellent advice on getting a port. It might seem like one more thing to do, but believe me, I am so glad I got one! I just finished chemo and am starting rads soon. My Onc wants me to keep it in for another 6 months at least and I have no problem with that. It really saved my veins. That chemo is caustic and can wreak havoc on sensitive veins. It's so easy for them to access your port. Takes about 3 mins. Ditto on the water. Drink, Drink, Drink, and then drink some more! You need to flush that nasty chemo out of your system. It will also prevent you from becoming dehydrated. I wound up with diarrhea each time and had to go for hydration each cycle! So it's vital to drink water!


I hope I have given you something worthwhile that you can use. I wish you the best of luck and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

"May you be at Peace; May you be Free of Suffering,"
Dianne

So very sorry
About your mother...It leaves a void that nothing can fill...I know tha void..lost my mother when I was 25...
I had the same chemo cocktail, Taxotere/Cytoxan..4 infusions. I know the very thoughts of it is terrifing...and that's a normal feeling! BUT...for me the fear was worse than the actual infusions...this was MY experience...The most terrifying part was walking through the door for the first one. My cancer center demands a " chemo class" before starting, it helped with knowing what to expect... for 4 infusions I did NOT have a port...more than 4 it is highly recommended...it is a surgical procedure. And I didn't want another surgical procedure! My last infusion required 2 sticks.. My chemo nurse was great!
Chemo is no day at the beach but 4 infusions are very doable...I started my prescribed anti- nausea drugs and steriods the day before chemo and continued steroids for 3 more days and anti- nausea meds for 5 days total...easier to prevent nausea than get it under control. I never had the first wave of nausea! I also had a Nuelasta injection the day after each chemo...you should ask about this...it's to force your body to produce white blood cells to help prevent infection. My first infusion caused me the most distress...diarrhrea and bone pain...have some extra strength Immodium on hand just in case....The side effects of chemo are cumulative....with each one I became more tired...after each I lost my taste buds for 6-7 days...I experimented with different foods....nothing tasted bad, just had no taste...Drink drink drink plenty of fluids, before,during and after chemo...also eat before each one even if you have to force yourself is what I was told..I did and It helped prevent nausea..Take all your meds as prescribed! Don't skip even one anti nausea drug! You will be given MORE anti nausea meeds and Benadryl before the actual chemo drugs...
Now the dreaded hair loss...with T/C it will start to come out 10-14 days after the first infusion...I bought my wig before I had my hair buzzed...so the place could see what my real hair looked like and started wearing it then...also had scarves and little caps I wore around the house..your head gets cold.
Please don't refuse ANY AND ALL offers of help from friends and family! As women we aren't used to being "taken care of and nurtured" ..especially since you have young children..Mine are grown and I still accepted help..my husband was fabulous!
It is almost ( next month ) 2 years since my diagnosis, lumpectomy, chemo and 33 radiation treatments...there is life after breast cancer...
Please continue to come to this site...it is a wealth of information from some pretty wonderful women who can share their experience ...We've all walked in your shoes...We understand, we care and we can help....you can also send private messages to any of us...
God bless as you start this journey of regaining your good health.
Nancy
God bless as you start the journey of regaining your health...

tgf said:

one word of advice ... PORT!
I could not have made it through chemo without my port. In fact ... I wouldn't even have started chemo without the port. I am terrified of needles and the thought of them poking and prodding looking for a vein gave me the willies.

You'll do just fine. You have no idea how strong you are.... You can do it... and we're all right there with you with our virtual hugs.

love,
teena

Yes YOU CAN...
Yes, it's scary and may cause a bit of discomfort, BUT IT IS Manageable. AND... You CAN DO IT!!! There's tons of wisdom and info on this site. You came to the right place for Support!!! And YES.... A port is the ONLY way to go...!!!

Wishing You All the BEST!!!
Mitzi ;0)

Susiestn said:

Thank you
Thank you all for all the good advice. Glad I found this site. Just heard this one... Expect my fingernails and toe nails to fall off? Oh my! I guess any sort of vanity has to go out the window! Any way to keep them?

Great advice!
You have been given some great advice and you will get so much support from some great people. I finished 4 rounds of C/T July 02-10. I completely agree that it is not near as bad as you think it will be. It is very doable. I continued to work all through my treatments and I do child care. I was tired but learned to rest when I could. I did not have trouble with nausea just take the anti nausea meds they give you and if by chance they don't work ask for something else.I was tired a lot but was able to keep up pretty good. I did have issues with constipation and diarhea, you never knew which it would be. I never lost my toe nails or finger nails or had any probs with them. We are all different and have different issues.
I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I know it is hard to lose a parent. God Bless
(((hugs))) Janice

Mitzi333 said:

Yes YOU CAN...
Yes, it's scary and may cause a bit of discomfort, BUT IT IS Manageable. AND... You CAN DO IT!!! There's tons of wisdom and info on this site. You came to the right place for Support!!! And YES.... A port is the ONLY way to go...!!!

Wishing You All the BEST!!!
Mitzi ;0)

So sorry for the loss of
So sorry for the loss of your Mom. You have my sympathy.


Wishing you good luck with your treatments.


Prayers and hugs,

Jan

mwallace1325 said:

Just want to say
Just want to say how sorry I am you have to go thru this. Everyone else eloquently and thorouoghly explained what you need and should do/look for etc.

All I can add is let your medical team know if anything concerns you. Take help from all who offer. Be good to yourself.

The first round is the scariest because of the unknown; but you can do it.

marge

it's not so bad
I think all of us who had chemo were frightened - or scared to death. I know I was. I had the same cocktail as you, no port, and did just fine. Every time I went for infusion, I was nervous and it seems surreal to sit there and passively let them put poison into your body. I always had someone with me - husband half of the time, girlfriends the other times. Husband was good, but girlfriends were best and somehow made the experience more distracting because we could chat, laugh and talk about husbands and then go out to lunch or shop. I was always worried about my husband when he was with me, but love and appreciate that he did it. I would not want to do it alone, so my suggestion is to always have someone with you.

Somewhere before my first infusion, I had a talk with myself and focused on it being a temporary condition and kept a calendar to check off the days remaining until the last infusion was over. I think that helped me.

Good luck. Be sure to check in and let us celebrate the completion of your first treatment with you.

Suzanne

Double Whammy said:

it's not so bad
I think all of us who had chemo were frightened - or scared to death. I know I was. I had the same cocktail as you, no port, and did just fine. Every time I went for infusion, I was nervous and it seems surreal to sit there and passively let them put poison into your body. I always had someone with me - husband half of the time, girlfriends the other times. Husband was good, but girlfriends were best and somehow made the experience more distracting because we could chat, laugh and talk about husbands and then go out to lunch or shop. I was always worried about my husband when he was with me, but love and appreciate that he did it. I would not want to do it alone, so my suggestion is to always have someone with you.

Somewhere before my first infusion, I had a talk with myself and focused on it being a temporary condition and kept a calendar to check off the days remaining until the last infusion was over. I think that helped me.

Good luck. Be sure to check in and let us celebrate the completion of your first treatment with you.

Suzanne

Sorry for your loss..
My thoughts, prayer and good wishes are with you and your family at this time.

Yessy

I think the worst thing I
I think the worst thing I remember about chemo was the unknown. I was a year younger, 44, than you were when I was diagnosed and told I would need chemo and rads. I am married and my daughter, at the time, was 9 years old.

I was scared to think about what kind of mom and wife I would be during this process. I pictured the worst and found it wasn't at all as I imagined. I had six rounds of chemo and a year of Herceptin infusions every 3 weeks. I weathered the chemo ok. I did have side effects and lose my hair, but I got through it. I drank tons of water and my taste buds were shot, but I eat what I could tolerate.

The other thing I did was walk and do a little exercise because I wasn't sure what to expect. Herceptin can cause heart issues so I took to walking and exercising during my year long treatment. I keep exercising as I need to keep my Temple Strong( inside and out)!

It is a scary thing, but you will get through it. Many others have walked down this same path as you and got through it. Stay strong and focus on your recovery!

I am so sorry to hear your Mother passed way. I hope the memories you have of her be of comfort to you and your family. Take care, God bless.
BL

GayleMc said:

I can't add much advice that
I can't add much advice that hasn't already been given. I was very,vey scared of my first treatment also. You can do it. I just wanted to give you my heartfelt good wishes and also express my condolences on the loss of your mother. I lost my mom five years ago, and it gets easier, but never stops hurting. Please come here often, I found that no question was ever to silly or small. Warmest thoughts.

The thought of chemo was terrifying to me
However, I refused to read anything negative about side effects, etc, etc. Even my oncologist was of the mindset to deal with things as they came up--not give me a bunch of "what ifs" that may never happen. I was determined to stay positive and my mantra became, "I can do this and I will be fine with minimum to NO side effects!"

And, guess what--I had very, very minimal side effects. Now, I'm not saying I felt wonderful and completely normal--but it was all very doable and I handled it all fairly well. Try not to listen to the negative--everyone is totally different. What happened to some may never happen to you.

Oh, and also, I had a very aggressive regimen of 6 treatments of Taxotere, Cytoxin and Adriamycin--all together every 3 weeks.

Stay strong and positive. You can do this and you will be okay.

Hugs, Renee