CSN Login
Members Online: 14

My Dad's Been Gone 1 month Today

sal314
Posts: 633
Joined: Jul 2010

Still hard to believe he's gone. Seems like only days ago, not 4 weeks ago! I went out yesterday to buy a couple nice picture frames to put some of my favorite pictures of him in. One is on the mantle and the other on a table in the family room. It brings some sense of comfort to see a nice, healthy picture of him smiling. That's how I WANT to remember him. But I'm still fighting the images of him in his last days in the hospital bed. That man I did not recognize or know. It's so very hard to watch someone you love slowly morph into this unrecognizable person. And though I do have more memories of him as his "old self", getting those last memories out of one's head is a bit more challenging than I realized.

Anyway...just had to "process" a bit I guess. I always think "oh, I'll just jot down a quick thought. And...it always turns into this long, rambling post! LOL. I guess it's healthy though? Helps to just "get it out"!

Thanks for listening. My heart goes out to each and every person on this board that is struggling with the loss of a loved one! Gosh, I miss my dad!

Blessings,
Sally

luz del lago's picture
luz del lago
Posts: 452
Joined: Jul 2010

Thank you for sharing. It helps you and it helps others. Missing my beloved husband, too!

Take care,

Lucy

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Sally,
It's only been 4 weeks so everything is still fresh in your mind. Sounds like you were good to your dad & loved him so much. Each day, believe it or not it does get easier. You will never forget him and you will have bad days for quite awhile. My hubby, Tom will be gone a year on the 25th and I've been having alot of bad days lately. Can shed a tear at the least little thing. The memories of that horrible night will always be in my mind no matter how hard I try to forget. But when I think of how I was after 4 weeks and compare it to how I am now it's unbelievable. I'm hoping after that 1st anniversary that I will be okay again. Haven't been sleeping good at night and just feel so emotional.
We'll make it and just have to remember all the happy times that you had with your dad & I had with Tom. Take care! Carole

DaughterDearest's picture
DaughterDearest
Posts: 22
Joined: Dec 2010

I know exactly, 100% how you're feeling.

My mother passed away when I was 19 on a hospital bed (we had brought one in for her to make her more comfortable since she couldn't move from the couch)...in our living room.

The image of her laying on the hospital bed in our living room was etched in my mind for a while after she passed. But time DOES help and now when I think of my mother, I picture her vibrant and healthy. Those hospital bed images are (thankfully) now pushed aside and my memories are of when she was at her happiest.

Unfortunately, now, 8 years later, my father is going downhill from his cancer, so I know I'm going to have to deal with this exact same scenario all over again. It's going to be a hard road, but I'll let time pass as it will and know I'll see brighter days.

*sigh* Hang in there, everyone. Things will get easier.

malaka1076
Posts: 3
Joined: May 2011

Sally, I know how you feel. I lost my dad on March 30, 2011. Just over 6 weeks ago. It was the worst day of my life and this is the worst thing I have ever gone through.

I feel the same way, I want to just post a little something - and I could go on and on forever about him. I think its theraputic for us to be able to do that. And you are in the right place, we all "get it"

I have pics of my dad too in my house. Im still looking for the perfect one. I need it to be how I want to remember him, when he was healthy.

I am so sorry for your loss and I hope time eases your (and my) pain.
Take care
~Melissa

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network