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Anniversary of Treatment

cabbee's picture
cabbee
Posts: 10
Joined: Jan 2010

Hi All,
I haven't been on this site since Mike was first sick,last January. He passed in July and I have been going to bereavement group,counseling,trying to get back to some kind of normalcy.
His birthday is approaching this week and I expected some problems,but now it seems I am obsessed with what was going on a year ago,the chemo,hospitalization and how very sick he was;just can't stop crying thinking of the insanity of it all.Anyone else been through this aspect of the grieving process? How did you handle it?
Cindy

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

Two yrs ago this week my husband with diagnosed with brain cancer. After 15 months, he passed away in June 2010. I do think back to everything he/we went through. Easter was right around the corner when he was diagnosed and Reese's Peanut Butter eggs were out. I sat at the hospital for hours/days while he went through a brain biopsy, MRI's, CAT's etc. etc. etc. When he was out of the room for a test I would run out and buy packages of those peanut butter eggs and eat them. It was all I ate for about 4 days. Now everytime I see them in the store, I feel sad. When I think of the hell he went through, I want to scream at God, life, the world? I don't know. So unfair. Hope you can find some peace.
Becky

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1612
Joined: Aug 2009

I lost my husband 17 months ago this week. I always add, but whose counting. I have been through a number of those days. Each one brings back memories both good and bad. Even the 20 th of each month (he died 10/20) throws me for a loop. I have learned to accept the difficult days for what they are, times when my grief circles back. I have been told by several of the older widows in my church that they, too, experience difficult days and some have been widowed for many years. One friend of mine in mental health agreed. She added, "Wouldn't it be really sad if you lost someone you loved and didn't feel bad?". Grief is the price we pay for loving someone as deeply as we did. I wouldn't give up the love for anything in the world, so I accept the grief. I have the good memories, too. That doesn't mean I can totally block out the days with pain and illness. I just have to mitigate them. We were married for 42 years. I don't expect to ever get over the loss. I can learn to live with it. Fay

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