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So angy

donnare
Posts: 266
Joined: Jun 2009

I HATE CANCER!! Every time I hear someone else was lost to cancer I get mad all over again and just want to scream. Wy can't they find a cure???
When my husband was first dx, and we were scared and hopeless, a friend's cousin who was fighting the same battle (almost identical situation as my husband's - Stage IV colon cancer with multiple liver mets), called to reassure us, and to offer support and information about the alternative treatment he was using. He was doing so well, and today I heard he passed away. It's just devastating. I very, very rarely post on the colon cancer board anymore because it hurts so much to see people who reached out to me with such loving kindness lose their battle -- people fighting such a terrible disease and yet having the compassion to reach out to me to comfort and reassure and inform me -- and now some of them are gone -- young people too. I know we are all going to die someday, but it's just so awful. I think of the people fighting this awful disease, the parents of children with cancer, all of us caregivers who feel so helpless --- it just makes me want to scream. And now I get to tell my husband another warrior is gone ...

Noellesmom
Posts: 1315
Joined: Aug 2010

We've all agreed on this board - cancer sucks.

It is a brutal, gut-wrenching roller coaster. It impacts and sucks the life out of the patient, his family and society.

I want you to hold on, though, donnare, because you have to as you go through the process of discovery, reaction, and stress that accompanies a cancer diagnosis.

Remember you are not alone and never have to be as long as you keep coming here. There is real support among the people who post here - they are just incredible in what they are willing to share with someone who asks.

It sounds like you have been fighting this fight for awhile so try to find a way to step back and take a deep breath. Remembering to breathe is important in any situation.

Hugs.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1624
Joined: Aug 2009

I almost didn't add my thoughts here because I lost my husband to colon cancer. I hope by being here I can offer you some comfort. Yes, we all hate cancer. I hurt every time I hear of another life lost to it. I pray daily for cures for every form of cancer. At the same time, I recognize that we are mortal beings or as someone in our chemo lab put it, we are all terminal. My husband survived stage iv colon cancer for six years. That was longer than we expected and shorter than we would have liked. Six years was a real blessing, though, and new treatments and protocols are coming down the pipeline. People are living longer with cancer. Many are even beating it. Doug and I adopting the philosophy that we were just buying time after the first recurrence. It made it easier for us to deal with future recurrences. The expected was easier for us to deal with than the unexpected. Our goal was to buy as much time as possible. We never lost hope, though. I still have that hope for others. In fact, I still have that hope for Doug. I still feel his presence in my life. Our last six years were a roller coaster ride, but it was also full of love and faith. We made many wonderful memories. We packed a great deal of living into those six years. We met many wonderful people in hospitals and chemo labs. Our church family became closer while we took that cancer journey together. Our family pulled together. One son commented that he got to know his father better in those six years than he had in all his other 33 years. I don't know if any of this helps, but know you are not alone in your anger and fear. Many of us understand those feelings. Take care, Fay

here4lfe
Posts: 296
Joined: Jan 2010

She has her own way of dealing with adversity, and it works for her. I'm different. I've noticed that people who were prolific posters on the CC board are no longer there. But I keep reading for information, and chime in when I have something to offer.

My wife is stage 4 CC, and we've not heard the NED, and at this point don't worry about it. I pray her liver keeps intercepting the cancer, and the oncologist cleans it up before it gets too much. She just had a PET scan today, so we'll see where we are. Good news would be nice this time.

It is what it is, we're going to do everything possible, and enjoy this life.

Oh, CANCER SUCKS!!!
Best

mswijiknyc's picture
mswijiknyc
Posts: 421
Joined: Oct 2010

but I must agree cancer does suck. I hear of amazing things though from different people both here and in other areas. People that have terminal cancer that are NED years later, or stay with us much much longer than expected - Grandma Fay is one example of many.

I can't say much to you, donnare, as my husband passed almost 6 months from the time he was diagnosed of laryngeal cancer. All I can say is live life with no regrets. I guess I am blessed as I have none with my husband.

Each day any of us feels the wind on our faces is a gift. Enjoy it :)

April

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