I am now 2 months post treatment and feel like I'm healing pretty well and quickly. I suffer from a feeling of dryness both in my anal area and my vaginal area. Sometimes this feeling will wake me up and I have to go put aloe cream on both areas just to get comfortable. I've been lax in using my dialator, and need to pay more attention to that. Intimacy with my husband is painful and that just makes things hard for both of us. My bowel movements are o.k. I guess, given what we've been through.
I have also been experiencing a severe stiffness in my hips, can no longer bend the way I used to without it hurting. I used to be so agile, now I struggle to put my socks on. This frustrates me to no end, and I suppose Yoga is the answer. use it or lose it, right?
My calf muscles also ache, they hurt to the touch. One of my pre-treatment pleasures was at night, while watching tv, my husband used to rub my feet and legs (I, of course then had to rub his), but now it hurts for him just to touch my calves. Has anyone experienced that? I walk my dog daily and sometimes this is a laborous thing. I'm only 50, so it's sad to me.
My last problem is probably the biggest and most confusing. About 3 weeks ago, after everything was going fine, I woke in the middle of the night with severe stomach cramping and vomitting. Continued to vomit about 8 times before I took myself to ER. Of course they found nothing and were reluctant to do CT as I have had enough radiation. I thought it was a diet issue, so took great pains in watching what I ate for next 2 weeks. Nothing helped. Daily my stomach would twist and wrench and I became fearful that maybe I had developed adheasions or some other colon problem. Went to Oncologist who ordered CT scan, and results returned with "abnormal cecum". The cecum is the area where the large and small intestines meet, and is the "u-turn" where the appendix lies. I had had mine removed just in June. The Onc doctor said that the CT can't really reveal what the "abnormality" is, so recommended a colonoscopy from Colon/Rectal doc. It probably is either scar tissue or trauma from radiation, or maybe surgeon erred in appendix removal and this coincidence is now manifesting, either way, I see him on Tuesday. In the meantime, I just suffer pain and nausea and wait. Sometimes grateful that something was found, often stomach pains go undiagnosed, but also concerned about what is it? And can it be fixed? will I need more surgery?
There are moment when I miss my "old self" so much. My husband told me in his sometimes brutally honest, but less than tactful way, that I have aged about 10 years through all of this. He sees me lying on the couch, resting at times, and says "that's so un-Darcee like". My skin is pale and dry, and my energy is still low. I know it's temporary and I will get better, but patience is not my strong suit. Cancer sucks and so does treatment.
Spring is coming, and it's always been a time of change, rebirth and a new outlook. I will apply this to myself also, and look forward to regaining the old Darcee to some degree.
I will keep you posted on the colonoscopy results. In the meantime - I MISS MY COFFEE!