My mom was just diagnosed

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sadie1105
sadie1105 Member Posts: 8
in Esophageal Cancer #1
I'm terrified! Of course, to learn about the staging, prognosis, treatment, etc., but even more-so about whether or not I will be able to be the positive support she will need through this ordeal. Mom has always been my support system; strong (often to the point of stubborn), independent and able to find the silver lining in just about any scenario. Right now, all I want to do is curl into a ball and cry. Cry for her because of what she is about to have to face, cry for my dad for what he is going to find himself witness to, cry for myself because I live over 2000 miles from her and feel completely isolated, cry for my daughter because she too will soon experience the pain that comes hand-in-hand when someone you love has cancer. I'm hoping that by pouring my self pity into my writings here, I'll be able to find the strength to support my mom in her time of need.

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  • sandy1943
    sandy1943 Member Posts: 824
    #2
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    Hi Sadie, Yes you can find
    Hi Sadie, Yes you can find support here. I am the cancer survivor, but my family and I did a lot of crying to begin with. I felt like the word cancer was a death sentence,but it's not. We have a lot of survivors and caregivers that post on here. We all are different but want to help in any way we can.
    Please give us more information. Has she been staged? What kind of treatment? Is it at a cancer center?
    Of course you're terrified, being so far away doesn't help any. It helps to learn all you can about EC and how it's treated. The more you learn, the better you'll feel and the more support you can give your mom and dad ,even if it is long distance.
    I understand how you feel. This is your mom! My prayers are for God to give you and your family the comfort and strength you need to fight the beast.
    Sandra
  • sadie1105
    sadie1105 Member Posts: 8
    #3
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    sandy1943 said:

    Hi Sadie, Yes you can find
    Hi Sadie, Yes you can find support here. I am the cancer survivor, but my family and I did a lot of crying to begin with. I felt like the word cancer was a death sentence,but it's not. We have a lot of survivors and caregivers that post on here. We all are different but want to help in any way we can.
    Please give us more information. Has she been staged? What kind of treatment? Is it at a cancer center?
    Of course you're terrified, being so far away doesn't help any. It helps to learn all you can about EC and how it's treated. The more you learn, the better you'll feel and the more support you can give your mom and dad ,even if it is long distance.
    I understand how you feel. This is your mom! My prayers are for God to give you and your family the comfort and strength you need to fight the beast.
    Sandra

    My mom was just diagnosed
    Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of information to give right now. We're in that horrible waiting pattern - when no information leaves you scouring the internet to educate yourself (not a good idea as the internet is the source of much dread). The biobsy has been forwarded to a cancer center for further testing and we'll hopefully have a little more information by end of next week. Not sure when she'll go in for the requisite additional scanning to identify how far it has spread. Fortunately, my parents do live near a premier cancer center and will be seeking further treatment there, versus at their local small town hospital.
  • BMGky
    BMGky Member Posts: 621
    #4
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    The not knowing at first diagnosis
    It is hard on everyone particularly when first diagnosed. Once your Mom gets a treatment plan and her options, everyone pulls together and helps to fight the disease.. The Internet scares you as much of the information is statical and sometimes doesn't report advances in treatment. Hopefully, William, Paul, Sandy, and so many others will soon post. They know their stuff. We here are all either caregivers or cancer survivors of EC. I am a caregiver. The treatment is demanding and sometimes challenging, but stick it out and there are many survivors.. My husband had his first post op PET scan and had NED or no evidence of disease it's been a little over a year since the shock of the diagnosis. He's doing great.

    I'm glad you're Mom is near a major cancer center. I don't know why the delay in scheduling the scope for staging. Personal feelings and not medical advice as I'm not a professional but as soon as my husband had the preliminary scope looking for a hiatal hernia and the cancer suspected, the gastroenterologist had my husband immediately wheeled for a CT scan, had sent off the biopsy For diagnosis, scheduled an appointment with a surgeon and contacted our family physician--all while I was still standing in the hall of the outpatient center holding scan photographs. Immediately, family doctor set up appointment or PET scan and with an oncologist the next week. The staging scope was done the following week. So, my thoughts are for the major center to be contacted immediately and let them get things rollin g. They can get the results from the original doctor. Sometimes scheduling scans can be delayed due to the demand for the service. This is my personal opinion. Listen to the other more experienced members for their suggestions.

    As to your being so far away, our daughter was over a 1,000 miles away and had small children in school. life and finances oftentimes dictate choices. All our children were with us in their hearts and prayers. Sometimes the physical demands of the patient, one doesn't have time to deal with loving children. We were fighting for his life. We were physically able to take care of ourselves. this is just us. We didn't want to inconvenience our children. We knew we were loved and that they'd be there in a heartbeat I'd circumstances warranted. We did talk at least one time daily and sometimes more. Sorry if typing errors.. My laptop died and having to use a different keypad. Keep us posted.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #5
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  • Susie_Brendon
    Susie_Brendon Member Posts: 128
    #6
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    I am recently new here too...and already love the comfort
    Hi Sadie -
    My name is Susie and my husband was diagnosed on Feb 1st with EC so trust me...I know first hand the scariness that you feel...to top it off, my dad died of cancer..well, almost 13 years ago...so I had those visions to deal with as well.

    Something that can help your mom and dad even being 2000 miles away... When going in to see doctors, it's overwhelming!! They might ask one question and just be in shock or stunned with the answer and the rest of their mind goes blank.... So, what you can do!!....AND DO NOT GET ON THE INTERNET AND READ!!! THAT IS THE SCARIEST PART OF THIS WHOLE CANCER!! Trust me!! I did that the very first day...(see I actually live over 200 miles away from my husband...and wasn't even with him when he was told he had cancer!)...and my the end of the first 24 hours...my eyes hurt so bad from crying... Okay...I got off the subject... What you can do for your dad and mom...!!! Email them a list of questions for every doctor they see. They will have an oncologist, a radiationchemo oncologist, a suregeon...send them questions!! They will forget...trust me! IF you are unsure of what questions to ask...come here... Everyone will help you!!!

    I get my strength from knowledge. I read everyone's posts on here, even if I don't always comment. I keep a notebook with me when I'm reading...because something will ALWAYS come up or a question will pop up that you don't know about your mom. The internet sites don't always have the latest statistics or treatments...and EVERYONE'S cancer and reaction to cancer is different!

    I know it's scary not being by your mom. But girl..it would be scary if you were right there... That is... Until you STOP being scared...and start being focused! I'm not scared that Brendon won't get better. I'm not scared anymore of the cancer. (it took me about 2 weeks to get over that...then I got determined!) I don't cry about the cancer... Now-a-days, I cry about the little things...but everyone has to release tension somehow...mine just happened to be the bleached bathroom towel!! lol

    You can do this girl even from so far away! Just learning more about the cancer will be such a huge blessing to your parents.

    Thinking of you and your family -
    Susie

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