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Crazy Thoughts

SueRelays
Posts: 489
Joined: Dec 2009

So I have a cold or the flu or something. Big deal right??? But my mind just keeps spinning...how could I be sick? I take such good care of myself since all this cancer crap...I take enough immunity boosters and supplements to ward off any possible germs that dares to try to inhabit my body!!! So I must have cancer again right??? I'm being silly I know, but I instantly thought "I haven't been sick since right before I had cancer" So if my immunity system is out of whack, it must be because there's cancer floating around again.
I know this is ridiculous, but my mind STILL goes there! My boyfriend SOOOO doesn't get it, but I know all of you do, so I just had to vent. Even laying on the couch last night ( something I NEVER do) reminded me of being sick with cancer, and then I felt even worse!!!
Geez....can't I just enjoy laying around and snuggling up with my blanket???

mp327's picture
mp327
Posts: 3076
Joined: Jan 2010

I SO understand how you feel. I was one of those people who used to walk off even the worst of aches and pains, telling myself that it was nothing serious and would go away if I just willed it to. Now, I get really freaked when I have those same aches and pains, get a cold or flu, or have just one of those yucky days that we all have. I think cancer makes us paranoid, and I don't know how to avoid it. Whatever you have right now, I'm sure it's just a pesky bug that will last a few days then go bother someone else. I'm sorry you're sick, but it's NOT cancer, so rest up, drink plenty of fluids and get back on your feet real soon.

Hugs--
Martha

sissy310
Posts: 300
Joined: May 2010

Hi...boy can I relate to this one (as I am sure many others can too). I think we are just on hyper alert to everything that happens to us, even the things that we never would have given a second thought to before, kind of puts us in a tailspin or sticks in the back of our heads and we worry. I think it is normal but how to be more relaxed with this stuff? Does that ever happen? I don't know. I'm still too new in this to even begin to speculate on that one. I do know I'm more cautious about things and almost OCD about stuff.

Was at the hospital for my scan and my husband and I decided to go to the top floor cafeteria for some lunch. Well some med student gets on, stethoscope around her neck, tissues in hand, red nose, sniffling and coughing and she is next to me. I hold my breath. She presses 8th floor. Someone says, can you press 8 for me too please? I glare at the person thinking, Typhoid Mary just TOUCHED that button. So I pressed it with my elbow. They all probably thought I was there for a psych eval. But I wasn't about to take any chances. Bugs are from touching things a sick person touched. I know that. Did it help? Heck no. I have a cold now. We do what we can and we try to live as healthy as we can but everyone gets sick with colds and flu's. Just take care of yourself and rest and drink lots of fluids and this too shall pass. But I do understand the anxiety. Take care, Marilyne

SueRelays
Posts: 489
Joined: Dec 2009

Thanks Marilyn and Martha!
It's just always so nice to share things like this with those that really understand.
Makes me feel better just knowing we all share this!!
And I love the Typhoid reference!!! HYSTERICAL!!!!
I know I keep tellling myself....it's a dang cold...that's ALL!!!

And Marilyn.....not sure if I received your email address, but while I have a minute....THANK YOU!!!!!

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4312
Joined: Jun 2009

Because you are a human being, Sue - and thus subject to the environment in which you live. The body is a delicate instrument and sometimes it does not take much to throw it off kilter.

HI SUE:)

Just had to sneak into you guy's room and say hello to you! I'm getting my butt kicked in treatment - the last 7-months have been none too kind.

And just for edification, when I wrap up this series of treatments, I will at the 7-YEAR mark of "actively fighting cancer."

I'm not going to lie to you though - "I'm tired."

Love/Craig

mp327's picture
mp327
Posts: 3076
Joined: Jan 2010

You have really been at this for a very long time. I think you're entitled to be tired, but I'm glad to hear you are not giving in. Stay strong!

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4312
Joined: Jun 2009

Thanks for writing! Yes, it has been a "lifetime" it seems. I've exceeded any odds ever given to me, just love to prove the medical community wrong when I can, LOL:)

I like to come here from time to time and check in on you guys, Sue and Joanne were on the colorectal board and are friends, so I like seeing how they are doing....and I follow yours and as many others on your board as I can.

Take care and thanks for responding - always great to meet someone new.

-Craig

mp327's picture
mp327
Posts: 3076
Joined: Jan 2010

Nice to meet you too, Craig!

SueRelays
Posts: 489
Joined: Dec 2009

7 YEARS!!!! WOOHOOO Craig. I mean I know it's a helluva long time to fight this beast, but I'm just so encouraged every time by it!!!!
I'm sure you are tired....you certianly have a right to be. I think of you often....and am hoping like heck that you are on the end of this journey and on your way to feeling like the good ole SUNDANCE!!!!

LOVE when you visit our site! I try to visit yours, but WOW...sometimes it's a bit much LOL!!!

sephie's picture
sephie
Posts: 543
Joined: Apr 2009

hey, i understand what you are going thru. just went with hubby and friends to colorado. friend had sinus stuff. well it freaked me out and i was doing everything i could not to catch it but of course was told by hubby , you cannot catch sinus. ok but i still was extra careful anyway and felt like they all thought i was a psych case for worrying so i would try to hide my "cleanliness" attempts. of course, i got cold, congestion anyway. and blew my ear on the airplane because i can not take sudafed due to high bld. pressure. i catch everything that walks my was . been out of tx for 18 months. I wish people would not make me feel as if I am over reacting. until they have been as sick as we all have and in the type of pain that we have endured, No one could understand. had to vent. hugs sephie

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