Feb 15, 2011 - 11:24 pm
hi everyone- I had great fun plans for Valentines but it was chemo and Oncoman day too. I have known the prognosis for my husbands stage IV lung with brain mets since August and the ICU- its been like boxing with hands tied since he didn't want to know. And that was his right.
My feelings are so mixed- the last six months I felt we could have been making memories-but he was focusing on returning to normal life without even the possibility of surgery- that's brain mets for you.Altered his perception. Now he knows the truth- he is devastated all over again and I worry he will not find peace of mind long enough that as newly married- we shall ever have good memories but part of me is of course relieved that at last we are on the same page with the truth.
I try to do or plan things that will lift his spirits but he just withdraws more and says less. Of course he is depressed and has medication but I feel I am running out of steam doing this alone.
If you read my info page you will know there is no other choice!
Sorry for the deflating post- usually I am more upbeat than this!
Best to you all