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I didn't want to take off my hat!!!

poopergirl14052's picture
poopergirl14052
Posts: 1179
Joined: Nov 2010

Today I felt vunerable, I was at our local credit union and the teller would not buzz me in the door until I took off my hat. I hesistated a minute and couldn't believe what I was hearing. I did take off my hat and I got very cold it was 19 degrees outside. I went to the teller who saw I was upset but didn't seem to care. Other people were looking at me and shaking their heads. I had tears in my eyrs and kept my head down and couldn't wait to get out of there. My hubby asked what was wrong and he said it is for security reasonsand jokingly said yeh the little bald lady roobed us. Made me laugh and felt better for awhile. But this still bothered me, I felt I had no rights

Tasgirl's picture
Tasgirl
Posts: 85
Joined: Jun 2010

I know how you feel as the same thing happened to me arriving into the USA once. I had to take my beanie off and stand there while they took my photo etc. Really upsetting.
Jenny

jazzy1's picture
jazzy1
Posts: 1387
Joined: Mar 2010

I put myself in your shoes at that moment, and I think I would have walked out the door. You were very vulnerable...almost as if all your clothes dropped and everyone was looking at you.

When I had lost my hair during treatments, it took me quite a while to even become comfortable with my new "skin head" look around my own home & family. Society puts so much emphasis on "looks" that we feel we're not whole unless look a certain way.

Sorry you had to endure that moment, and on top of it all, the teller looked at you like "deer in headlights"...wow what was she thinking? Seems like she has no real deep care for people....wow!

Keep smiling and don't worry about others...we're all fighters of cancer and you just showed your courage!

((( hugs )))
Jan

lindaprocopio's picture
lindaprocopio
Posts: 2022
Joined: Oct 2008

I sit on a bank board. I am sure that this is something the Directors of the Credit Union would want to know about. If they must have such a policy for security reasons, they should at least conduct sensitivity training of their staff as the teller could have shown more compassion. I would take my bank business elsewhere.

I have to get my photo driver's license taken this month and am not looking forward to having my super-thin scalp-visible chemo curls immortalized on my license the next 4 years, although it will at least match my passport photo of chemo curls from my 1st remission!

Hissy_Fitz's picture
Hissy_Fitz
Posts: 1869
Joined: Sep 2009

Color me slow, but I don't get the "security" thing. Did they think you might have a weapon hidden under your hat? I have to say, unless someone could provide me with a very good and valid reason for this, I would be changing banks ASAP.

There has to be some kind of compromise that would satisfy the CU security people, yet preserve the dignity of folks like us. It is NOT okay to humiliate your customers, and I strongly encourage you to take this matter up with someone in authority. It may be as simple as talking to the branch manager.

It's a long story, and I won't bore you all with it, but I once had an issue with a bank and by the time it was over, I had received a very nice letter of apology and a check for $50.00 to compensate me for time and trouble. And when I say there was an "issue", I mean the branch manager told me that if I closed my account, she would consider that to be "suspicious behavior", plus she threatened to have me arrested (for trespassing) if I insisted on waiting while she "researched" the problem.

Do not let people like that teller push you around or make you feel uncomfortable. There is a bank (or a CU) on every corner. The only way they can distinguish themselves is thru outstanding customer service, something you definitely did not receive. March back in there and talk to someone higher up. I'm betting they will be appalled and very anxious to make ammends.

Carlene

upsofloating's picture
upsofloating
Posts: 473
Joined: Dec 2009

Twice I've had to get my drivers license photo (and even my Costco member card) with chemo skimpy hair - second time I was prepared for no hat, the first i wasn't :( It does feel like you're naked when they make you take off the hat in front of all the stares. I'm so sorry it happened when you least expected an issue. And the worst is, the perpetrators have no insight into what they are doing or the pain they are causing. Perhaps a letter to the cu manager with a cc to the head office head honcho might at the least elicit some hint of apology and heighten their awareness that customers are 'people' not 'numbers'.
Annie

Mwee's picture
Mwee
Posts: 1316
Joined: Nov 2009

so sorry that this was done to you/I would definiely let the "powers that be" know how exposed you felt. They could have taken you aside to to search you.
((((HUGS)))) Maria

pattysoo's picture
pattysoo
Posts: 173
Joined: Oct 2010

Ugh! this has happened to me twice at airport security checks. The first time a woman security agent was so kind. She just asked me if she could pat down my head - no need to take off my hat. The second time the agent was a young, (unobservant) guy who said I had to remove my hat. I gave him my best "the look" and whipped it off. As I did, he stammered, "Oh, never mind, you can keep your hat on." Too late! I hate the looks of pity. Thank goodness I now have enough hair to go anywhere and no one looks twice.

Hissy_Fitz's picture
Hissy_Fitz
Posts: 1869
Joined: Sep 2009

The crazy thing is, a hat presents no more of a security risk than a wig, and since they can't tell you're wearing a wig, they never make an issue out of it.

The whole TSA thing, in my opinion, is mostly designed to give the public a sense of being safe from terrorists. Making pilots go thru the scanners was a prime example. Hello..if the pilot wants to crash the plane, taking away his nail clippers won't help. He's the pilot.

Carlene

pattysoo's picture
pattysoo
Posts: 173
Joined: Oct 2010

Ugh! this has happened to me twice at airport security checks. The first time a woman security agent was so kind. She just asked me if she could pat down my head - no need to take off my hat. The second time the agent was a young, (unobservant) guy who said I had to remove my hat. I gave him my best "the look" and whipped it off. As I did, he stammered, "Oh, never mind, you can keep your hat on." Too late! I hate the looks of pity. Thank goodness I now have enough hair to go anywhere and no one looks twice.

nancy591's picture
nancy591
Posts: 1059
Joined: Sep 2009

There is a small bank in my little town. The bank itself is very tiny. There is a sign that says you have to remove your hat and sunglasses as well. This bank is so small though that everyone knows each other.

I understand exactly how you feel. I'd felt the same way.

joan60's picture
joan60
Posts: 90
Joined: Sep 2010

that they that to you, that was really rude of them and then not to apologize to you. I would stared them in the eye and them look embarrassed , not to mention my husband would walk in with his hat on and them why he didn't have to take his hat off....shame on them....next time don't be embarrassed wear your hair challenged head with pride as you are a cancer survivor!!!! I used to flash everyone!!!!
Joan

anicca's picture
anicca
Posts: 324
Joined: Dec 2010

I'm so sorry you had such a rotten experience! I think Carlene's advice about speaking with the bank manager is excellent.

I want to thank you for posting about this, because it's something I hadn't thought about, but now that I know it could happen I can be prepared. I teach ice skating, and was giving a lesson to a tot, who lost his footing and grabbed my hair, which was a wig. He dislodged it, but it didn't come off. It gave me a real scare, but also made me think about what I would do, say, etc, if my wig did accidentally come off at the rink. I finally have short hair, so it's not an issue at the moment, and I hope never will be again, but it surely could.

DB

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