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Update on Father

sal314
Posts: 633
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi All,

Wanted to update you. My father isn't doing too well. Though his pain is lessening because of the radiation treatments and new meds (he's on Dexamethasone (THANK YOU SHERRI! I kept telling my mom to ask the Dr. about it and turns out she just put him on it!) and Methadone) he's continuing to get weaker and more frail. My mom thinks he's had several more TIA strokes as he has vertigo and walks funny. He also is having lots of trouble making it up their insanely steep 17 stairs to the bedroom. He's out of breath by the time he reaches the top. That prompted my mom to bring up the conversation of getting a bed and putting it on the first floor. Thankfully my dad understands and probably is relieved he doesn't have do that anymore. Though I'm not sure how the bathing situation is going to work. And not sure if it's the drugs, him or a combination of both, but he just seems so detached from everybody.

Thus...I had an awful day yesterday. No matter how much you prepare your mind and know what's coming, it doesn't matter. When the reality starts staring you in the face, it is just so raw and painful. I'm dreading walking in their house and seeing a bed in the living room!

Please continue to pray for me and my family. It's truly the only thing that can bring me comfort. As for this journey with EC, it really does stink!

Blessings to You All,
Sally

Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1561
Joined: Nov 2009

Hi Sally and thank you for your recent update on your dad. Sorry you are having a rough time. Yes, it is very hard to see our loved ones go down hill and suffer. You are doing the best you can, no one could ask for more. I was surprised to read that not only their bedroom, but bathroom is also upstairs? Not very convienient for aging parents. There always is the idea of the electric chair? Not having a bathroom downstairs is sure to become a problem. There is also the urinals and the bed pans. This is very hard. Put and keep your faith in God. Lean on our Lord. God is the one who has gotten me through this year without my dad. March 9th will be one year. Glad he has received some relief with the new meds. That should jump start his appetite as well. Take it easy, give yourself some "me" time. We will be thinking and praying for all of you. Keep in touch.
Tina in Va

spensir
Posts: 50
Joined: Jan 2010

Sally, When we got the news Oct. 2009 that John had EC inopperable we did a little remodel. My wise niece who is a hospice nurse in another city told us there may be a day when he cannot walk up the stairs. We put a shower in the bathroom downstairs and turned the livingroom into what we call the Living bedroom. It had the fireplace in it so it can be warmed up when needed. I have decorated the shelves and walls with positive words. Some of the words are hope, love, smile, live, laugh and happy. Our family has added many words to the room since then. John is still able to do the steps which is a blessing but the bed is there with a heated mattress pad when he needs it. We also use it for when my handicapped sister come over she lives almost three hour away and could never stay here because of the stairs. Our grand daughter who is 6 climbs up there to get Papa to read her story while she is here.

Sally I hope this helps you see having an extra bed in the house as something positive and makes life a little easier for those caring for your dad and especially your Dad. The best to you and your family. Shirley

DanaMB3
Posts: 101
Joined: Dec 2010

I am sorry to hear your dad is not doing well. Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you guys and saying prayers.

linda1120's picture
linda1120
Posts: 438
Joined: Oct 2010

Dear Sally,

I want you to know that I too am praying for you and your family. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you. Be sure and take time out for yourself. Will you be going again soon to see your father? I know you have a family and it must be so hard to not be there.

Linda

dlrepic
Posts: 64
Joined: Nov 2010

I thank you for your reply on my post and I'm sorry that your father isn't doing well. I hope that he can find some relief soon. Take care of yourself.
Danielle

MRapp226's picture
MRapp226
Posts: 52
Joined: Sep 2010

Sally,

Esophageal Cancer sucks and I truly hate that anyone has to go through this!!!!! I know what you are feeling as I just went through this (what feels like) yesterday. You need to take care of yourself so that you can help your mom and dad. I really hope that your dad is able to get comfortable and hope the bed downstairs will help him. I agree that now may be the time to call hospice. They can help you and your mom care for him and also help get him any pain meds he needs.

As always, I am sending prayer and hugs your way.

Please keep us updated on your dad.

Warmest regards,
Melissa

cfight's picture
cfight
Posts: 77
Joined: Jan 2010

Hi Sally,

I'm so sorry to hear about your father. I completely understand that raw feeling. I had a very difficult time seeing my father's health decline. Somehow, someway, I found the strength to be there for him and my mom and I'm sure you will also find that inner strength. I was pushing hospice for weeks before my father passed, but he just wasn't ready until the doctor said there wasn't anything more that could be done. Even though he only received hospice care for a short 5 days, he was extremely grateful to their care and the other support that came with the service like the bed and wheel chair. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts.

Carolyn

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