Feb 04, 2011 - 10:47 am
I'm here for my partner.
I'm very confused at the moment and just need some people's insight.
My partner was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer roughly 3 weeks ago. In that time we have just received bad news after bad news.
His surgical oncologist told us that he had about 6 months to live without chemo and between 6-24 months with chemo. The surgeon said due to his general youth (60) and good health, that he was a prime candidate for surgery but that because of the lymph node involvement they couldn't do anything. He did however say that if he responded well to chemo, then they would assess possible surgery then, but that was a slim chance.
3 days later my partner went to the clinical oncologist. This oncologist agreed that the cancer had only spread to distant lymph nodes but also said that their is no chance of chemo doing anything other than alleviate symptoms and that my partner has about 8 months tops even with treatment.
I'm completely lost at the moment. My partner went to his GP to ask if he should get a second opinion, but the GP told him that their is no point as the surgical oncologist still hasn't ruled out surgery.
I wouldn't mind so much, but I'm not convinced that this oncologist will give my partner anything other than palliative chemo.
The treatment regime they have him on is only for 4 hours every 3 weeks. This seems like a very laid back approach to me! Surely it should be longer than that if they are trying to get rid of the cancer?!
Both my partner and I are confused as to if this is palliative care or not and if their is any difference in chemo treatment if it is?!
My partner is now being stubborn and will not go to another specialist as his GP has told him a second opinion is pointless.
I'm so confused!! Everything I have read tells me that at this early stage of stage 4, that Ed (my partner) still has a fighting chance. A slim one, true, but one that's still there.
The surgical oncologist still has hope also. So is this clinical oncologist just fobbing us off with half arsed treatment or is he really treating him???
Any help anyone can offer, on any aspect of this would be appreciated as I'm going out of my mind with worry.