Jan 19, 2011 - 12:34 am
I don't come here often. usually I post on the Ovarian cancer board as my mother has been fighting that beast for 18 months and I go there for hope and information and numerous techniques for dealing with the chemo and side effects. This week was a real turning point in her treatment. In November the cancer went to her liver and between then and January the liver tumor grew over an inch...not a good sign...prior to this time, she has managed to battle it back....I think I was in total denial. Intellectually I knew these days were coming, but I figured they'd be years away. Doctor is talking to her about quality of life, but truthfully the cancer is spreading fast and my mother feels rotten all the time. Fool that we all were, we kind of didn't even think the cancer would make her feel bad. Somehow when it was the chemo, well that was ok....but it isn't the chemo anymore and the reality that this stuff is slowly destroying her vital organs is just killing me.....tears tears tears......sadness grief...it sucks....denial is amazing....i knew this day was coming so why am I so shocked? Anyway, I don't know if anyone has any wisdom...I am irritible with everyone and basically just very very sad....I hate cancer....I keep telling myself I should be enjoying every second, but I'm not too good at that right now....I am trying to get ready for the dreaded day....How does one do that and enjoy every second? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated..