Half way TODAY on the FOLFOX EXPRESS slept through the hole infusion and an hour after !!! and cann

I blame the long emotional rambling post on folfox and dex. god its good!!!

Saw ONC my bloods are good enough for this round. No chronic diarrhea like before. Hope this challenge is licked so I can get onto the new one. I have gained 10kg in last 4 weeks over xmas and holidays and ONC not happy. She only likes slim male patients. so back to strict diet and walking. Well the rest and indulgance of xmas was wonderful.

Got some copies of meditions from a friend.

THIS IS FROM ANOTHER POST I WANTED TO POP IN HERE!

Its not just the doctors we need to educate or even ourselves. Its the entire dam western world. I believe we need to be healthy and peaceful examples for our neighbours, friends and family.

I am in my socialist mood. This assumes we all know about STRESS kills the immune system and PEACE allows us to heal our immume system. If not google it and come back.

we cancer patients are really bunnies.

in the western world us cancer bunnies pay the price for everyones greed, excess and stupidity. Including our own. We are just the unlucky ones statistically I believe. Ok a bit of an over simplification but I hope get my point across

We generally eat shite, are lazy, selfish, stressed and greedy. I was. We are making ourselves targets for illness cancer being the big one.

As a society we are overweight, unhappy, get divorced, raising screwed up kids in mixed up families. I sense the fabric of our society is so weak.

This airlines CEO Geoff just retired and said after building his massive airline over 15 years that its time to have time with the kids. They were over 16. Has he missed the plane? This happens absolutely everywhere, some of my dearest friends are foolish beyond belief working 16 hour days, missing out on family time.

WHY ? build a big ego, to buy bigger cars, TV, houses and toys to impress society and probably loose connction with wife and kids. Maybe even another divorce. all for things. they are living lives without loving connections.

Its the same effect as cancer that kills a mum or a dad, the families still split permanently. Ironically if we die well from cancer our families and friends won't be scared or scarred. I think preventing this should be foremost in our ongoing loving relations. I have many single wonderful friends that I would be pleased to help ellie and the kids in the worst case for me. Not that I believe this is an outcome. But cancer has taught me to have all the bases covered.

A friends wife died of breast cancer leaving dad and 4 kids 5-10 in age. Its been over 3 years and the Dad has a new girlfriend with kids as well. A reflection of how life can go on. At the same time I see the turmoil of my brother inlaw separation and the cruel games around access and maintenance money.

My cancer has made me more accepting, patient, forgiving, affectionate and loving. Now I really know that every moment is precious, let alone every minute, hour and day. I wished me friends going through relationship hardships could just be more loving and forgiving.

The pressure all this greed we put on us is stress which is killing us. We have to protect our minds from this brainwashing. So for me the root cause of why we make unhealthy choices
is advertising. The easiest way is to not exposure yourself or family to adds in print, tv and radio.

Of course the world and society has this wonderful potential thats simply being wasted, much like our human potential.

Our societies challenges globally maybe like our own personal treatment challenges. Delicately balanced and I hope our pendulums don't get pushed to far in one direction.

Not sure how how to end my ramblings except.

good night friends,

Love Pete