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To my love, Dennis

luz del lago's picture
luz del lago
Posts: 452
Joined: Jul 2010

It is now 11 days since you went to be with Jesus. Today is New Year's Eve and I find myself remembering the last 31 years that we were blessed with our love, with our lives. So bittersweet, as I know that you are in a glorious place, no more chemo, no more anxiety about scans and labs, no more pain. For this my heart rejoices. For your absence, my heart is broken. Tonight at midnight, I will not feel your passionate kiss and embrace as the New Year begins. My heart aches. The excitement that we always shared at the prospect of a better year filled with love and joy will not be there for me tonight. I don't know what I will feel. So much love surrounds me at this time and I know I must look ahead and try one day at a time to begin to live this new life without you. I know that God will be holding me and encouraging me to live and love life again, not in the old way, but in a new way. I shall miss your arms tonight.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

HI,
I know how you felt on New Years Eve. I too missed my husbands kiss at midnight. Today I took the few decorations I had up including 3 small trees and cried as I was taking the stuff down. We made it through our 1st Christmas & New Years without them so we have to learn to go on. It's so hard though and can hardly believe that in March it'll be a year already. Where has the time gone? We would be married 47 years on February 8th so that'll be another hard day. Let's hope 2011 is a great year for us, huh? Take care! "Carole"

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

Made it through my first set of major holidays. Found New Year's Day was very hard. Don't know exactly why but I could not hold it together. I guess we have to do what we would want them to do if things were reversed. On with 2011.

luz del lago's picture
luz del lago
Posts: 452
Joined: Jul 2010

Dennis and I would have been married 30 years on Feb. 7th! I am trying not to make "dates" such an issue, but look, on our granddaughter's birthday the hurt was very real! I know my loved ones are doing their best to surround me with love through these "dates" and it is so very helpful. Everyday of my life with Dennis had meaning. Today marked 2 weeks since he left, and at times I can hardly believe it. Maybe that is how it will be, before we know it time has passed and we are still here. Living, loving and moving forward. Searching for the new journey we will embark. Thank you for your sharing. Sending you wishes for a new and peaceful new year.

Lucy

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