Dec 30, 2010 - 12:20 pm
Hello everyone, I came across these discussion boards earlier and I thought I'd sign up becuase I need to vent a little. My fiance was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago, and not long after, he asked me to move in with his parents, with their permission, because it was a couple hours closer to the hospital that he goes to for treatment. At the time I had what I thought was a good relationship with his parents so I agreed.
His parents are very religious and since we aren't married yet, they asked me to sleep on a cot in the attic, which is mostly storage space. A week or two after I moved in, my fiance's mother started complaining that she couldn't find boxes that she put in the attic. She said they were either moved or missing.
When I moved in, I offered to pay rent or buy groceries or help with bills but my fiance's parents refused. I have since offered a few more times and they again refused. But my fiance's mother continually complains about how much higher the electric bill is, how much more time she has to spend at the grocery store and how there's never enough food in the house.
Me and my fiance's mother take turns taking him to the hospital and the stays are usually a week or so long. When she leaves, she types out a list of rules that I have to follow in taking care of the house. They include things like you can only use the washer once per day because it's an old machine (she does laundry 4-5 times a day sometimes). So then I do laundry once per day and extra laundry piles up. The first thing she does when she gets home and sets down her luggage is walk to the laundry room and let out a loud sigh and complain about how much laundry she has to do.
I offer to help with dinners, she says no and then complains how much food she has to make. I offer to help with dishes, she says no and ten complains about how many more dishes she has to clean. The other day, I accidentally spilled a cup of water on the counter and she yelled out "Oh my God! What are you doing?" and body slammed me out of the way when I went to clean it up with a paper towel so that she could clean it herself. Then she brought up the spill 3 more times throughout the day and said how dangerous it could be if water spilled between the counter and the stove and grew mold.
I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. It's looking more and more like this living situation is going to be a long term thing. We're still paying rent on our old apartment so we can't really afford to pay for a new one closer to the hospital and we're not comfortable with leaving my fiance alone at home anyways. I love my fiance very much and I'm going to stick it out, but I'm going crazy here. This is the last thing I need on top of all the stress of him having cancer.
I've talked to him about it and he's said that's just the way she is and she loves me very much and appreciates that I'm taking care of him. But that doesn't really make me feel better about the situation lol
Are any of you also going through similar situations with in-laws or family, and how do you deal with them? Thanks.