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The mornings

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

Is it just me or is anyone else finding early morning, when you first wake up a miserable time of day? I find myself waking up between 4 and 5 and every worry, stress and lonely feeling is right on the surface. It is probably the worse time of day for me. I usually just get up and start cleaning or something. Just wonder if I will ever be "normal" again.
Becky

madhura
Posts: 21
Joined: Aug 2010

Most days, I wake up with the thought of my mom not being with me anymore.
That's the first thing I think of when I wake up and last thought when I go to sleep at night (not to mention 1000 times during the day).

lilli1020
Posts: 114
Joined: Jul 2010

I woke up a nervous wreck this morning....like I had to face something that I really didn't want to. Of course, it wasnt just a dream. I wake up every morning with dread in my heart, worry in my mind, lonliness and dread. I wonder if that will ever go away? Gayle

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

I too hard a very difficult time this morning. There is a transition from sleep to awake where panic sets in. Sleep is still an issue for me. Wake up very early, usually between 3am and 5am. If I lie in bed my mind gets the best of me so it is better to get up and do something. I hope this pattern subsides as I am pretty tired. Just wish I could have Terry back, have my life back.
Becky

lilli1020
Posts: 114
Joined: Jul 2010

I hear ya Becky...I wish that for you too. They keep telling us it will get better, so we have to believe that. Ativan first thing in the morning helps me...calms me down so I can drink my coffee! I wish you well and pray for your healing.
Gayle

bluerose's picture
bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

No it isn't just you. I personally think mornings are hard because upon waking we face yet another day without someone we cared about or because we ourselves are ill and it's like 'here we go again' - facing all the emotions that one faces when going through these kinds of traumas and losses.

If I may suggest something. Use the chatroom on this site if you are up early. Now sometimes you might have to sit alone in the room for a bit til someone comes in but it isn't usually that long seeing the internet is global and there are so many different time zones. I have found that so many times it seems as if just the right person happens in to talk to you about something that you need to hear and that helps - I don't believe in coincidences, I think everything happens for a reason, there is a reason why they came into the room just then.

Give that a try if you are comfortable with chat, lots of good people in there to have a conversation with you and I'm sure it will help.

If you would rathr use the time to blog on these boards try that. Whatever is on your mind you can bet has gone through the minds of many others on this site too who will no doubt have great input for you on whatever it is you wish to discuss.

I am in the chatroom in the mornings now and then, hope to see you in there.

Blessings,

Bluerose

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

I agree that mornings are hard. Especially on sunday cause Tom would always cook breakfast for me. Now I sit alone with the paper & TV. During the week I go down to the Village coffee shop every day. We have such a good group of people and don't know what I'd do without their support. I definitely would recommend doing that if possible, cause it gives you a reason to get up. Actually, nights sitting alone watching TV are hard for me too. If this computer ever quits, you can bet I'll buy another one the same day, cause it's a lifesaver.
"Carole"

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

I was just thinking the other day that my day consists of working, sitting on the computer and TV. A far cry from when Terry was alive and we were always up to something. Try to keep busy but not always feasible. I'm surprised how much time I spend on the computer Like you, if it ever went down, I would run right out and get another.
Becky

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1617
Joined: Aug 2009

I am finding that the need to connect here has lessened. I still need to from time to time and I am glad this lifeline is here. The bond on this site is very strong. It helped me through the hardest days. Fay

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

I look forward to your postings as it helps me to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully someday I will be able to be helpful to someone who just lost a loved one. You give me hope.
Becky

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