I feel lost in a sea , not knowing what to say or do. Each way I go seams sad . I feel alone , I know I am not but still deep inside me is a place no one would want to go. I see people chatting but it is like air blowing in my head around and around. I don't like the saddness I feel but somehow can not control it. I worry about my husband , I worry about the what if's or can I go on . Sometimes I feel like going to a Mountain top and screaming , then think. well ain't that just silly . Then I think I will dream of the places we always said we would go, now seams so pointless . I lay down and try as hard as I can to sleep , but thoughts run on and on .
People talk about what their families do and don't do for them . How does one decided if one has done enough or done anything at all? I am not sure I wonder if I was ever there for them ? Did I do enough.
As you read this you will see I am so lost. I am not sure if the Army could find me and if them di Would I know or care. I am not always sure of myself . My brainn seams hell bend on being lost . I am not sure how to turn it on or off. I heard some one say Let's run of to Greece, and there goes my brain thinking dang the only Grease I see is in the bottom of a pan. I am sure If I try harder I could help someone else in pain to let them know they are not alone. But does that mean I would have to share my Debbie Cakes? I am not good with sharing my feeling I can't even think of sharing my fears or dreams with anyone .
So Sometimes I face fear with humor, as scared as I maybe It is better to me to make them think I am a joking than let them see me cry.
Lost At sea.........Come find me ......brang Debbie Cakes.......
Words excape my my brain but they can be found in my heart if you look close enough