Dec 21, 2010 - 1:08 am
How do you stay positive, as a 'distant'-caregiver...?
I live two hours from my stepfather who has cancer (NHL)...during his 12 chemo treatments I was at the hospital 2-3 out of the five days a week. I gave up a semester of college to be with him (wouldnt have changed that for anything) and as my luck would have it, my wedding fell right between the last chemo treatment and the return of cancer a second time. So the celebration seemed bittersweet at best.
My mother cant control her overhwelming fears of him dying - and I cant get her to see the positive for the life of me. She says she doesnt want to live without him and has a hard time even taking a moment out for herself to just breath...This has not only taken over his life, but my moms as well.
Additionally, they have to reloacte to a place about 40 minutes from my house, during his new upcoming treatments (give than they can even do them - appointment is tomorrow to find out what options we have). I am now faced with trying to decide if I should offer my home up to her as a place of comfort and a place she can call 'home away from home. It is not that I dont want her here - I just worry that I wont be able to take the negativity very long and after 8 months of trying to remain positive, I'm starting to lose my cool. I have two semesters of nursing school left, and my husband and I very desperately need me to graduate so I can get a job that pays our bills and allows us to start a family...
I dont know. I'm just kind of torn and emotionally tired (as selfish as that may sound). My mom cant handle it, I've accepted it, my stepdad is just ready to move on with life and get through with this ....
Sorry this is all over the place, I just needed to get it out.