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Jan Trinks's picture
Jan Trinks
Posts: 477
Joined: Apr 2009

Hi all:

Hope this finds everyone enjoying the season and not too stressed out! I did get all my decorations up and even the outside ones and the lights too which was Charlie's job. Now, it's probably not plugged up like he did it, but I did manage to still just have to flip the switch on the power strip to turn everything on and I haven't blown any fuses yet! I'm leaving for NC on Tues. the 21st to spend Christmas with his family. His dad has been having a rough time with the holiday season as I've noted before. I wrote him a letter this week concentrating on how Charlie would not want us to mope around and not enjoy Christmas. Yes, there'll be some tears this first one; but he would so not want us not to enjoy Christmas. As Christmas gets closer, I tend to be a little apprehensive. Charlie just did so many little things that made it so fun and now memorable. The first time I went into NC without him, I did fine until I got off in Spartanburg for the last 40 miles into Marion on two lane road and then I cried the rest of the way in; the second time I made it to the NC line before I got weepy. So not sure how this will be with this being the first Christmas into NC without him. I have spruced up his urn and made it all Christmasy with a Christmas basket and poinsettia garland and all and am taking him with me as his mom wants to set it under the Christmas tree. I've been pretty busy with all the hustle and bustle and all and I must share what one of my closest friends has done for me. She lost her husband six years ago on Halloween from a massive heart attack out of the blue and the first Christmas without him; another friend of hers wrapped up 12 little gifts with bible verses attached to them and numbered them 1-12 and she was to open one a day! She said it gave her something to look forward to; so when she came down last weekend she had a present for me to open right away as it was an ornament and one to put under the tree and this little trunk with 12 wrapped presents in it to start opening on the 14th. It has been fun. Actually I think the true 12 days of Christmas starts on the 25th but we overlooked that and backed it up for the 12th day to be Christmas Day! Anyway, I was very touched and overwhelmed and thought how clever and thoughtful of her. I do have great friends. Also, I'm in the process of making up a big batch of goodies to take to the oncologist and rad. onc. offices on Monday. They were so wonderful and Charlie thought so much of them and as we all know you do get attached to these people. I'm not quite finished with the afghan for the chemo room but getting there and will take that over when I get through with it. As you know Charlie was an avid Tarheel fan and I'm an avid TN Vol fan and they are playing each other on Dec. 30 in the Music City Bowl in Nashville TN. So I have informed his two brothers that they know how much I loved Charlie and I am a one man woman and that man was Charlie but ain't no way I'm pulling for the Tarheels against my Volunteers! They got a kick out of that. Oh, please keep his youngest brother Stan in your prayers; he was admitted last night to a hospital in Morganton, NC with shortness of breath and chest pain and had bronchitis which is now pneumonia. He is 50 years old; no insurance and was diagnosed with COPD some years back; but his other brother Steve, (my right hand man and financial advisor) said he seemed to be doing pretty good when he saw him last night. I honestly do not know what we'd all do without Steve and his wife Karen as they look after things for their parents and have done so much for me and now checking on Stan. Also, please remember his parents in prayer as Steve will have to tell them about this and they can invent things to worry about!

Over all, I'm doing pretty decent, but it's so hard to be without him especially right now. I miss him so very much. Going into K-mart is the hardest thing I do. It's so hard to go in there and not see him working there; but I love those people and they have been so good to me and Charlie was so crazy about his co-workers and after all, K-Mart was my bread and butter for 26 years so I still shop there. Well, I've been long winded enough this morning and I do need to make a batch of candy before I venture out amongst the crazies so I'll sign off for now. Merry Christmas everyone and I love y'all. Oh, Sammy the dachshund is going with me to NC again and he has a reindeer sweater to wear outside for the season! God Bless!

Jan (Basketcase)

Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

I know how you're feeling exactly. I lost my husband in March so this is my first Christmas without him. Although I put up a tree, which isn't the one we used to do, but a small one, I didn't do any outdoor lights like you did. Good for you! We always had Christmas, but our son & wife are having it at their house this year, so I know it's going to be very hard. But I have been trying to be more positive knowing that he would want us to celebrate even though he isn't here. So hope you have as good a time as you can in North Carolina with your family.
This web site is great isn't it? Merry Christmas! "Carole"

Pumakitty's picture
Posts: 652
Joined: Mar 2010

It is always glad to hear from you. I hope that your holiday if filled with wonderful memories of your true love. Please be safe in your travels. My family plans to have a quiet time at home. I am finished work at 4:00 today and do not have to go back until Jan 3rd. I am ready for a nice restful couple of days. Please let us when you get home safe and I will pray for Stan that he recovers soon.

Kathy and family

Hal61's picture
Posts: 655
Joined: Dec 2009

Hi Jan, thanks for saying Hi, it's always great to hear from you. Have a peaceful and loving Christmas.


delnative's picture
Posts: 450
Joined: Aug 2009

My heart goes out to both of you.
I don't know how I would cope if I lost my dearest. (I'm sure she was wondering the same thing 2 1/2 years ago when I was diagnosed with cancer.)
May God be with you both, and may he keep you in the palm of His hand.

--Jim in Delaware

Hondo's picture
Posts: 6299
Joined: Apr 2009

I know how I am and I believe Charlie would be the same in wanting the best for my wife if I should pass on, I think about it sometimes and just pray that she will have the strength that you have.

Will keep you and Stan in our prayer.

Skiffin16's picture
Posts: 8264
Joined: Sep 2009

Jan, you and your family are definitely in my Thoughts & Prayers.

Merry Christmas & Hoping you have a great upcoming New Year,


Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1579
Joined: May 2009

As many of the others have said...I don't know how I would survive without my husband/wife. My husband was a rock for me during treatment but I could see the fear in his eyes.

Your first Christmas without Charlie will probably be one of the hardest things you will do but you have been such a strong woman that I know you will make Charlie proud.

You and your family are always in my prayers.

Stay strong,

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