Dec 15, 2010 - 2:29 pm
i called hospice over the weekend for dad. his chemo is not working and it's making him feel like hell. i asked him if he wanted to stop for a while and see if maybe he can feel better. he said yes, and they have been wonderful. one reason that made me feel it was the right thing to do was, when the primary nurse walked upon the porch, she was a lady i babysat for when i was a teenager!! hadn't seen her in 20 years.....she was fantastic. nonetheless, dad still feels like crap. the dizziness seems worse and his food intake is just about none....he just picks at stuff. now he'll eat chocolate pudding and stuff like that, but just one pudding cup. yesterday he had one of those and half of a bottle of glucerna. he keeps asking me why he feels so bad. how do you explain to someone with brain mets, that can't remember anything short term, that they are dying and it's just all a part of the process? without losing my own mind, that is. i feel so bad for him and i feel really sorry for myself at times. wow, if my mind would slow down, i might be able to get off of this freaking rollercoaster. the doc told me i had a mood disorder...i looked at him and said, no sh!t dumbass. my mind rambles just like this post does......