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Motherless daughter

alexa77ny
Posts: 1
Joined: Nov 2010

I lost my mom 13 years ago after just turning 20. I am an only child who was raised by a single parent - my mom. She was the most amazing person and my best friend. How does one go on after such a loss. I suppose I've learned to on the surface: finishing school, having a career, and most recently getting married. Then why is it that I still feel so incredibly lost and sad. I am afraid. Afraid to have children because i fear getting sick and dying, afraid that I will never be whole again. The love of a mom is irreplaceable and unforgettable as are the scars that stay with you after seeing her suffer the way she did.

I am new to this board and really just wanted express how I feel with someone out there that understands what I am feeling right now. I know that some time has passed since my mom passed away yet i feel as if it were yesterday and the pain still runs deep.

I so unbelievably miss my mom. I need to know i'm not alone in feeling the same amount of pain as I did when my mom had just passed away 13 years ago.

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

My shoes are different my mom died 3 years ago She was 88 and I miss her. I have adult children. My husband has cancer. I think we draw strenght from our children. Your mom loved you and I am sure she felt bless to have you and give and be loved . She would have been alone if she did not have you. So you gave her something special.
I miss my mom in many ways and many times, young or old does not matter they are still our mommies. I take comfort in the fact She was my mom and the things I learned from her, like making gravy, cooking all these little things , I pass them to my daughter in hopes someday she too will pass it on to her children.
I will say as a mother what we want for our children is to grow up be happy and live not in the past it is gone. I want my kids to laugh and say Oh remember mom did this or did that. Remeber how she would laugh. A mothers love does not die, it grows it is with me now and will be tomorrow . The fact it will be with me til it is my time to go. I hope I pasted it on to my children that love is given , not bought or sold. It is ours forever .
I say this so you remember your mom not just in death but in the life she had and the things she done. The things she taught you these are gifts a mother gives to her child.
I would not want my children to greive their life away, I want them to remember I was their mom .Be happy in that. Share what I did with others so they can remember me to.
My mom was very old fashioned and she was stuborn to the end. She was a mother of nine children. She is worth remembering not in tears but in joy .
So when and if you have a child set her on your lap and tell her about this wonderful lady you called mom. Tell her the stories she told you. Remember to to smile and wink at your mom.
That is what I want for my children , I to am a mom.

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