Nov 06, 2010 - 2:16 am
Or am I destined to stay a nervous wreck? I was just Diagnosed a year ago with Hodgkins Lymphoma, did 12 rounds of chemo, and declared 'in remission'. I had lots of trouble with my chemo, I developed thrush everytime and I thought my 'bone pain' was unbearable. My Gallbladder quit functioning and I had to have it taken out in the middle of all this, and I had tons of problems with my port. On a good note, I have had PET scans and CT scans since and my Oncologist says he sees nothing, not even scar tissue. In my case, they found my Lymphoma by chance because of irrelevant side pain. I know this in my head.. but I can't calm myself. I'm so deeply afraid of Lymphoma coming back so to speak. Every pain I have it scares me, everytime I sweat in my sleep I panic. Its an everyday recurrance. I've been off chemo for 4 months now and feeling like a human again.. but I still am scared of sick people, and small children with their runny noses. I don't like visitors coming in the house and I dont like to go places. I didnt wear my wig out one time and someone told me I looked awful with my hair short. I have to clean EVERYTHING everyday. I know in my mind that cancer is not contagious but some people make me feel like a leper. Even my own sister who wont even hug me. Have I developed a problem, or will this just go away? Normal or no?