Sometimes I just don't know what to say...

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m_azingrace
m_azingrace Member Posts: 399
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Many of you are going through so much. Not only battling cancer, but often dealing with family matters, employment & financial issues, and insurance concerns as well. I want you to know that my heart and prayers go out to each of you, but I do not know how to respond when my life seems to be going along okay [except for stage IV BC]. It's not all perfect. Hubby and I squabble over trivial things, and the bills still come due each month. But I have no words of wisdom or personal experience to offer because I haven't "been there, done that". Even the cancer seems to be "behaving" in ways that have the professionals baffled. Dr. is pleased, but also amazed that I continue to do so well. Just please know that I am always touched by your pain, your crisis, your needs and also your joys and victories, but I don't know what to say so I keep quiet. Hugs and God's blessings to you all. Gracie

Comments

  • Different Ballgame
    Different Ballgame Member Posts: 868
    #2
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    Send a Hug
    Gracie,

    There are many posts that I read that I also don't know what to say. I, like you, have no personal experience to offer because I haven't been there, done that. So maybe we should send a hug. Say, "Here's a big , strong hug. Draw from its strength."

    Lots of Hugs,
    Janelle
  • carriesoup
    carriesoup Member Posts: 144
    #3
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    Different Ballgame said:

    Send a Hug
    Gracie,

    There are many posts that I read that I also don't know what to say. I, like you, have no personal experience to offer because I haven't been there, done that. So maybe we should send a hug. Say, "Here's a big , strong hug. Draw from its strength."

    Lots of Hugs,
    Janelle

    we appreciate those big
    we appreciate those big strong "virtual" hugs. i know i need them :)

    thank you!

    *hugs*
    carrie :)
  • waffle8
    waffle8 Member Posts: 234
    #4
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    Gracie
    It makes my heart glad to hear everything is going well for you.....I celebrate that with you even when things are difficult for me ...It is great to hear about your blessings...Sometimes I do not respond either because I do not know what to say...
  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #5
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    waffle8 said:

    Gracie
    It makes my heart glad to hear everything is going well for you.....I celebrate that with you even when things are difficult for me ...It is great to hear about your blessings...Sometimes I do not respond either because I do not know what to say...

    Thank you Gracie for caring
    Thank you Gracie for caring so much. Bless your heart.
    Hugs,
    Wanda
  • anaumann
    anaumann Member Posts: 60 Member
    #6
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    Lighthouse_7 said:

    Thank you Gracie for caring
    Thank you Gracie for caring so much. Bless your heart.
    Hugs,
    Wanda

    me too
    I ask questions and for advice, but I don't add much else to the board. When I say my prayers I will include all of you. ann
  • 2Floridiansisters
    2Floridiansisters Member Posts: 384 Member
    #7
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    Me too..........
    I come here when I have the time, and I come across posts that just make me want to cry and I'm not really very good at expressing myself so I post nothing instead. Everynight I pray for everyone on here though, I just have a hard time saying what I'm thinking.

    Thanks for starting this thread Gracie.
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    #8
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    Same here...
    Sometimes, I just read and cry. I can't even think of anything positive to say. I just close my eyes and pray.

    Sue
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    #9
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    Gracie
    It's ok to post only when you think you have something to contribute. I'm glad things appear to be going ok for you. They are for me too. I don't have much to complain about. I sometimes read a post that makes me cry but if I don't have something to contribute I don't comment. I ask questions and have gotten wonderful information or links to free items and lots of words of wisdom.
    {{hugs}} Char
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    #10
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    Different Ballgame said:

    Send a Hug
    Gracie,

    There are many posts that I read that I also don't know what to say. I, like you, have no personal experience to offer because I haven't been there, done that. So maybe we should send a hug. Say, "Here's a big , strong hug. Draw from its strength."

    Lots of Hugs,
    Janelle

    great advice!
    Hugs,
    Linda

    great advice!

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    #11
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    Thank you for starting this.
    Thank you for starting this. There are so many who post who are so elequent, that I sometimes have nothing to add or feel the same, but cannot say it in a better way.

    But I do think a quick note to add support can be very helpful emotionally for those who are facing the bigger challenges this beast brings.

    Hugs to you,

    Linda
  • Marsha Mulvey
    Marsha Mulvey Member Posts: 597 Member
    #12
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    cahjah75 said:

    Gracie
    It's ok to post only when you think you have something to contribute. I'm glad things appear to be going ok for you. They are for me too. I don't have much to complain about. I sometimes read a post that makes me cry but if I don't have something to contribute I don't comment. I ask questions and have gotten wonderful information or links to free items and lots of words of wisdom.
    {{hugs}} Char

    almost never
    I am almost never at a loss for words, but this week (especially today) has left me feeling a little that way. I've been through a lot in the past 8 months that others have not been through - BUT that works in reverse too - others have been through things that I have not. When we can speak from experience, it is more comfortable. When it's a response to a light-hearted post, it's fun. When we're offering encouragement and prayers, it makes us all feel good that so many are thinking of us.
    BUT...when devastating news comes into focus, when it is affecting someone we "know and care about", we're at a loss, we're scared and sad...and truly don't know what to say. God bless us all.
    Marsha
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
    #13
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    Gabe N Abby Mom said:

    Thank you for starting this.
    Thank you for starting this. There are so many who post who are so elequent, that I sometimes have nothing to add or feel the same, but cannot say it in a better way.

    But I do think a quick note to add support can be very helpful emotionally for those who are facing the bigger challenges this beast brings.

    Hugs to you,

    Linda

    I'm with Sue .. I am sitting here crying .. haven't stopped
    for weeks ... Praying and hopeful for all those wonderful WARRIORS faced with another battle ahead of them.

    Vicki Sam
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
    #14
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    VickiSam said:

    I'm with Sue .. I am sitting here crying .. haven't stopped
    for weeks ... Praying and hopeful for all those wonderful WARRIORS faced with another battle ahead of them.

    Vicki Sam

    Ditto here and sending the
    Ditto here and sending the biggest cyberhug I can to all who are fighting this damn disease with everything that they have!
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    #15
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    Thank you
    For putting into words how I have also been feeling.

    Coming here lately has been a little overwhelming, and I feel so much, but have said so little. My life has been good but very busy, so I don't have as much time as I'd like to spend participating. I do at least read what I can nearly every day, and have been sending cyber-hugs, positive thoughts, and prayers to those that have posted about being scared, discouraged, frustrated, and even angry.

    I hope that those who need comforting can feel what I'm sending their way, even if I don't always tell them.

    OK - I'm sitting here in the airport crying right now, so I need to go, but I WILL be there in spirit for all of you - and tomorrow, whenI see VickiSam and her daughter at the Making Strides walk, we will be beaming our energy out to all of you.

    Love,
    Cindy
  • laurissa
    laurissa Member Posts: 773
    #16
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    Hi Gracie
    Me too. I am fortunate my bc did not turn out as bad as some. I have a bone met but still doing very well. My doctor is also amazed. I still check in sometimes but with work and chores, time doesn't allow me to respond to everyone. This site has been a great support for me and I wish everyone better days to come. And for goodness sake, don't leave the forum because of some nut, just don't respond.
  • m_azingrace
    m_azingrace Member Posts: 399
    #17
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    laurissa said:

    Hi Gracie
    Me too. I am fortunate my bc did not turn out as bad as some. I have a bone met but still doing very well. My doctor is also amazed. I still check in sometimes but with work and chores, time doesn't allow me to respond to everyone. This site has been a great support for me and I wish everyone better days to come. And for goodness sake, don't leave the forum because of some nut, just don't respond.

    Hi Laurissa!
    I've wondered where you've been. I'm so glad things are going pretty well for you. Please do check in from time to time. I've missed you. Hugs, Gracie
  • pinkkari09
    pinkkari09 Member Posts: 877
    #18
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    Great thread Gracie,
    Great thread Gracie, sometimes we don't know what to say but remember, our cyber presence can do wonders, so if your lost for words, just send a hug to let them know you're here. After reading some of the threads lately I feel selfish that my cancer is stage IIIC and under control, I would like to take the pain from many and sometimes I just want to jump through this computer and help others battle, this disease can be very sad :( I pray with everything in me for my pink warriors!!! You sound like an amazing girl and bless your heart for showing you care.
    God Bless,
    Kari
  • SIROD
    SIROD Member Posts: 2,194 Member
    #19
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    Marsha Mulvey said:

    almost never
    I am almost never at a loss for words, but this week (especially today) has left me feeling a little that way. I've been through a lot in the past 8 months that others have not been through - BUT that works in reverse too - others have been through things that I have not. When we can speak from experience, it is more comfortable. When it's a response to a light-hearted post, it's fun. When we're offering encouragement and prayers, it makes us all feel good that so many are thinking of us.
    BUT...when devastating news comes into focus, when it is affecting someone we "know and care about", we're at a loss, we're scared and sad...and truly don't know what to say. God bless us all.
    Marsha

    Words
    Dear Marsha,

    I am almost never at loss for words either. When dealing with devastating news, I always try to speak from my heart. I often try to think if the situation was in reverse, what words would I want to hear.

    Mostly on boards like this, speaking from experience as you say is more comfortable.

    When I read your post, I wish that I could carry some of the load for you. Your journey began with such a heavy burden. With breast cancer or any cancer, there is no such thing as fairness. We all deal with the cards that been given to us, the best way we know how.

    Thinking of you,

    SIROD
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #20
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    pinkkari09 said:

    Great thread Gracie,
    Great thread Gracie, sometimes we don't know what to say but remember, our cyber presence can do wonders, so if your lost for words, just send a hug to let them know you're here. After reading some of the threads lately I feel selfish that my cancer is stage IIIC and under control, I would like to take the pain from many and sometimes I just want to jump through this computer and help others battle, this disease can be very sad :( I pray with everything in me for my pink warriors!!! You sound like an amazing girl and bless your heart for showing you care.
    God Bless,
    Kari

    I always try to find something to say
    Not sure if my words help, but I just want to let that person know that I'm here. That I'm listening, and praying for them. And if I could lighten their load I surely would.

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