Sep 13, 2010 - 5:53 pm
Hi to the "old Guard" and hello to the new on this site.
(In continuation of my post:"Hallways and marathons" Sept 9.)
My wife who cannot have Chemo or RT because of Fanconis Anemia, stopped Erbitux after 3 months owing to very severe effects.
She now has a flippin lump on her neck. In June this year the PET was clean and only two weeks ago there was no visible lump and ENT and Onco doctors saw nothing and felt nothing when they did their neck "squeezing-massage-feeling for lumps" bit.
Today we had needle biopsy and the Doc did two needle pokes; the second in an attempt to draw out fluids but didnt really succeed.
She said it was "behaving" like squamus. Solid 2.5 cm according to the ultrasound and produces fluid too. So the lump has remained.
If this is squamus, its frightening cos acceleration is high , isnt it?
if this is squamus, she will have to go back on the biological warfare Erbitux ,which she hardly tolerated. Not much left to cut out in the throat region.
She has clawed her way back from successive surgeries, physically removed her own
Eating + coughing, as a result of the last three surgeries + lung lobectomy, is a constant.
The thought of further suffering is just destroying.The next two days until results is going to be a long wait. I feel like im precipitating "going away".The feeling i got every time there was surgery. Robot living.
I have no practical advice to ask of any of you i suppose. To be painfully honest, i think im posting this because i want to make sure ure going to be there if i need you; cos this might be a long "going away".
(After the doc and biopsy etc, we went out to buy handles for some closets at home. How boring is that"?!).Ok , i recon i lost it slightly today.