Fight is over.

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lilli1020
lilli1020 Member Posts: 114
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
The fight is finally over now. Doug passed away Aug 24th after several days of the absolute worst hell I have been through. I won't go into details, but it was a blessing he is no longer in distress and pain. Now it is time for getting on with my life, including the grieving. I had a good few days after the funeral, but lost it this morning. I guess it will be up and down for a while. Life does go on and I will figure out how I am going to fit in being by myself again.

Bless all caregivers,
Gayle

Comments

  • mr steve
    mr steve Member Posts: 285
    #2
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    Sorry for your loss
    {{HUG}}
  • nyogus1
    nyogus1 Member Posts: 30
    #3
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    Sending Prayers
    Galye,

    I'm sorry for your loss. I will pray for you to have strength as you go through the grief.

    Nancy
  • angelsbaby
    angelsbaby Member Posts: 1,165 Member
    #4
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    nyogus1 said:

    Sending Prayers
    Galye,

    I'm sorry for your loss. I will pray for you to have strength as you go through the grief.

    Nancy

    I am
    sorry about doug .I have been grieving for 17 months but to me it was just like yesterday this is about the hardest thing to go threw other than watching our loved ones die. Take care and sending prayers.

    michelle
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #5
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    My Deepest Sympathies
    Hello Gayle
    May I send you heartfelt sympathies for your recent loss of Doug. I lost my dad to ec in March. There are a lot of grieving caregivers here. We are all happy that our loved ones are now at peace and no longer in pain or suffering. I know what you went through at the end. We had a rough time also. I will never forget hearing my dad say...help me, help me right before he passed away. And the vacant look in his eyes. Yes, our life here on earth does have to go on, until we meet our loved ones again. May God bless you and give you and your family peace at this most difficult time. Keep in touch. Helping others here has helped me to cope.
    Tina
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #6
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    Loss
    I am so sorry that you lost your Doug. I lost my Doug in Oct., 2009. Grief is hard work and takes time. My best advice for what it's worth is to allow yourself to grieve. Do it in your time and in your own way. You might want to check out the grief board. There are a number of us there who are grieving our spouses. Fay
  • AnnaLeigh
    AnnaLeigh Member Posts: 187 Member
    #7
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    So sorry to hear about Doug
    Gayle,

    I am so sorry to hear about Doug. Now that he is at peace I am wishing some relief and peace for you.

    Going on without them is hard but we just hold on to their memories and it feels like they are still with us.

    Blessings to you and your loved ones.
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    #8
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    sorry
    So sorry for your family.
    Jennie
  • onlyhuman
    onlyhuman Member Posts: 99
    #9
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    condolences
    Gayle
    Sorry for your loss and for the hard time you have been through. Be gentle with yourself. Sometimes being strong means knowing when it is ok to let go and to lose it sometimes.
    Sangeeta
  • junklady
    junklady Member Posts: 88 Member
    #10
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    I am sorry
    I am sorry to hear your sad news. The love of my life, Dale passed away Sunday, August 29. I'm thankful he passed peacefully. No more suffering and pain. The feeling of quiet in the house, the little things you look at and start to cry, touching his clothes. Everything has a memory.Yesterday I picked up Dale's ashes, it was a hard day. Those ashes will be scattered in our pasture surrounding the house at the end of the month. I just try to get through one day at a time. My heart goes out to you . Please keep in touch.

    Bless you,
    Cynthia
  • PattyNC
    PattyNC Member Posts: 65
    #11
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    junklady said:

    I am sorry
    I am sorry to hear your sad news. The love of my life, Dale passed away Sunday, August 29. I'm thankful he passed peacefully. No more suffering and pain. The feeling of quiet in the house, the little things you look at and start to cry, touching his clothes. Everything has a memory.Yesterday I picked up Dale's ashes, it was a hard day. Those ashes will be scattered in our pasture surrounding the house at the end of the month. I just try to get through one day at a time. My heart goes out to you . Please keep in touch.

    Bless you,
    Cynthia

    Gayle ... take care of yourself now
    So sorry for your loss and for the tough journey you have had to endure as a caregiver. Now put yourself 1st & give yourself all the love, encouragement and care that you had been giving to your spouse. And you're not really by yourself at all now ... so when you feel ready, reach out to friends and family and let them step up now to nourish you mentally and emotionally. People want to help but are hesitant to encroach on your grief so let them know your needs. Plus, CSN is just a click away, anytime day or night.

    Blessings to you
    Patty
  • lilli1020
    lilli1020 Member Posts: 114
    #12
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    Tina Blondek said:

    My Deepest Sympathies
    Hello Gayle
    May I send you heartfelt sympathies for your recent loss of Doug. I lost my dad to ec in March. There are a lot of grieving caregivers here. We are all happy that our loved ones are now at peace and no longer in pain or suffering. I know what you went through at the end. We had a rough time also. I will never forget hearing my dad say...help me, help me right before he passed away. And the vacant look in his eyes. Yes, our life here on earth does have to go on, until we meet our loved ones again. May God bless you and give you and your family peace at this most difficult time. Keep in touch. Helping others here has helped me to cope.
    Tina

    I know...
    Tina, that was the most haunting image in my mind. Doug could not be understood, but his eyes told me he was scared, possibly in pain, and his body had just completely failed him. It was vacant and sometimes terror filled look in his eyes that gives me some peace knowing he is not going through this anymore. I miss the hell out of him, but not they way he was in the last couple of weeks. Thanks for writing.

    Gayle
  • lilli1020
    lilli1020 Member Posts: 114
    #13
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    junklady said:

    I am sorry
    I am sorry to hear your sad news. The love of my life, Dale passed away Sunday, August 29. I'm thankful he passed peacefully. No more suffering and pain. The feeling of quiet in the house, the little things you look at and start to cry, touching his clothes. Everything has a memory.Yesterday I picked up Dale's ashes, it was a hard day. Those ashes will be scattered in our pasture surrounding the house at the end of the month. I just try to get through one day at a time. My heart goes out to you . Please keep in touch.

    Bless you,
    Cynthia

    And I am sorry for your loss
    And I am sorry for your loss too. The quiet in the house is deafening...sometimes only the sound of my grief. I havent gotton Doug's ashes yet, but he wants to be scattered in Lake Michigan. I want to hold onto them for a while though...just something that I have left besides my memories. God bless you and keep you. Best of luck....one day at a time. Thanks for writing.

    Sincerely, GAyle
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    #14
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    Be Strong!
    I'm so sorry for your loss of Doug. I also lost my husband of 46 years on March 25th. You're so right about the quiet of the house & having no one to talk to. Just be strong & if it gets too bad, go for counseling. I did and am still seeing her, plus I am on meds. It really helps to be able to cope with the loss. Hang in there!!! "Carole"

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