Jokes or quotes for Eil4186 - waiting for Friday

I propose that each of us post a nice quote or joke in this discussion so that Eileen will have some distraction waiting for Friday. Laughter IS one of the best medicines.

My son is in the Army and just graduated basic training. This isn't really a quote or a joke but I thought it was worth sharing:

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An American Soldier was taking some college courses between assignments. He had completed 20 missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform....I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting."

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Soldier got off his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

The Soldier returned to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticable shaken, looked at the Soldier and asked, "What in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

The Soldier calmly replied, "GOD was too busy today protecting American's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot. So He sent me.

The classroom erupted in cheers.