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I lost my boyfriend.

nancyivb
Posts: 8
Joined: Jul 2010

I lost my boyfriend to esophageal cancer on 8/18/10. He was diagnosed in April 2010 and it progressed very quickly. I am so lost. We are both in our late 40's and had a whole life time to live. We have only been together for 3 years, but dated in our early 20's for awhile. I loved him with everything I had and will miss him so much. Everyone tells me he found me again because he knew I would take care of him through this nightmare. I did, but right now I hurt so much I can't find comfort in that. God bless everyone on this board because you are all probably feeling the same pain as me.

Nancy

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1622
Joined: Aug 2009

Nancy, i am so sorry that you lost your loved one. My husband of 42 years passed away in October, 2009. We had more time than you did and i am sorry about that, but I can tell you that it is never long enough. You are still new in your grief. Yet you need to let yourself grieve. Right now you are probably pretty numb. I am not going to tell you that the pain will go away, but time does seem to make it a little easier to bear. I have no words of wisdom, but you are right many of us here share your pain. We each have our own story but we share the pain of cancer and loss. Thank you for your blessing. I will think of you in my prayers this evening. Now it is time for you to take care of yourself. Fay

Noellesmom
Posts: 1312
Joined: Aug 2010

Oh, Sweetie, I can't even imagine what that must be like. To lose someone and then find them again, only to suffer losing them to cancer.

God is good, Nancy, and I believe you know that. I hope you and your boyfriend made special memories which will be a comfort and blessing to you in the months and years to come.

Hugs to you, Nancy.

djbfamily
Posts: 8
Joined: Apr 2010

Nancy I too lost the man I love to esophogeal cancer - March of this year. We were together for 18 years, happily married for 15, and have three beautiful girls. I miss him so much and still wish he could come back to us. His cancer took over his body so aggressively, he lost his battle after 10 months; he fought so hard for his girls. I struggle with deep sadness every day; I know how hard it is to keep going each day. Much of my sadness is for him, dying so young at the age of 41. He worked so hard to provide a home and comfortable life for us, it seems so unfair that he will never get to enjoy his family. We were supposed to grow old together, share our grandchildren together, and love forever.

I am sorry I don't have a whole lot of wisdom to share; I can only share in understanding your pain, your sadness, and your heartbreak. Please take care and know that there are others out here thinking of you.

lilli1020
Posts: 114
Joined: Jul 2010

We all feel your pain hon. I lost my 51 yr. old husband only 3 months after DX on Aug 24th and currently what I remember the most are the last 2-3 days....the pain and fear in his face, then the lost look...not the man I married. Cancer is satan manifesting itself as cancer in the body as far as I am concerned. The meanest, most hateful and heartless thing I have ever witnessed. I do not know how long it will take me to get over some of this pain and loneliness, but I live with it 24/7 and some days are worse than others. The only thing I find that eases the pain some is exercise. It makes me feel better and I sleep well. I hope I can begin to remember some of the wonderful memories of my husband, but right now all I can think of are his last days....true terror! God bless you and everyone here are in my prayers. Gayle

Noellesmom
Posts: 1312
Joined: Aug 2010

Gayle,

When we lose someone we love in such a devastating way, sometimes it does take awhile for the good memories to replace the last, awful, nightmarish-quality ones that occupy our mind.

The good memories will come back and slowly take the place of the difficult days at the end. You will never forget those days and final moments but will come to accept them as part of your very human experience. I know you know these things but I just wanted to remind you.

Satan and cancer - you aren't the first to make this analogy. Many people agree with you, Gayle.

Hugs.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Nancy,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your boyfriend. I'm sure he appreciated having you there to take care of him through that difficult time. The hurt of losing someone is so hard and doesn't go away, but I'm sure with time it'll get easier. That's what everyone tells me and I have to admit that although I still have bad days & cry it is easier than the first few months. I lost my husband of 46 years in March. He had only been diagnosed in January so still hadn't gotten over the shock and then all of a sudden here I was "alone". Miss him alot!
Hope you're doing better! "Carole"

ktlcs's picture
ktlcs
Posts: 360
Joined: Jan 2010

I am sorry for your loss, I too lost mu husband of 23 years to rectal cancer in July after only 9 months. It was and still is devastating to me. We have no choice but to go, that's is what they would want for us. Take comfort in knowing that he is in a better place.

Rubytaylor
Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2010

I am so sorry for your loss....My prayers are with you for more peaceful day's ...
___________________________________________________

Good Grief Bear is targeted towards providing the needy a helping hand to overcome the grief and the grievances that they encounter in the harsh reality of life.
URL: www.goodgriefbear.com

Rubytaylor
Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2010

whatever is in your grief bag, sort through it, evaluate it and process it. Let yourself heal. Get help if you need it. Be strong. You deserve it. It doesn't mean you're betraying your loved one. That you're cheating him/her in some way by resuming life. I know that for a fact. Have faith that your loved one awaits you in Heaven

http://www.GriefOut.com
Providing a Helping Hand to Grieving Hearts
Ruby L. Taylor, M.S.W., Founder

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