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Not a survivor but lost my partner to cancer, in a way guess I am a survivor

Conjo46805
Posts: 1
Joined: Aug 2010

My name is Connie and in March of this year I lost my partner and soul mate to liver cancer. It has only been 5 months on the 28th of this month but lately it has come flooding back making it feel like just yesterday that I lost her. I miss her so. I would like to talk to someone that has lost their other half and maybe help me shed some light on why I am feeling so emotionally raw right now. So if you are out there plaese contact me. My email is mcafeecj@yahoo.com. THANKS!!

pipwe1's picture
pipwe1
Posts: 53
Joined: Oct 2009

Hi Conjo

I lost my partner of 12 years to ovarian cancer in August 2009. I am sorry for your loss and I do know how you are feeling. These feelings will unfortunately hit you when you are least expecting it, but things do get better, they will never be the same, but the pain eases and the memories take over.. the good memories I mean.. the happy times. I think that during the first few months we are in shock and denial, trying to except the fact that they are gone, then suddenly the reality of the situation that we are in hits us like a tun of bricks and that is when the emotions start to hit us all over again as if it was just yesterday. I found solace here and in a weekly group with people who knew just where I was and what I was feeling. I don't come here much now, I just check it out once in awhile to see how everyone is getting on.

I hope this has been of some help. I will keep my eye on here to see how you are doing.

Take care of yourself

Wendy

cassie49
Posts: 1
Joined: Dec 2010

My partner, best friend and soulmate died on November 1, 2010 of pancreatic cancer. Even though we have struggled with this for 20 months the shock is just now wearing off and the pain is coming on strong. I feel this incredible sadness in my heart. I was home with her last 2 months as she died slowly and painfully.

How does one get over this? I know it takes time but I just want this gut wrenching pain to let up.

pipwe1's picture
pipwe1
Posts: 53
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sorry for for loss. I know that this is hard for you right now but believe me it will get easier. To be honest I don't think you ever get over it, you just learn to live with it. I found writing helped, getting all your feelings out and trying to understand what you have been through and what you are now going through. This site helped me a lot and I found peace being here and allowing myself to talk about what I was feeling. Do you have family/friends for support? You need them now and let them help you.

Take care of yourself and try to remember the good times

24242
Posts: 1417
Joined: Mar 2001

I couldn't imagine though I have had to face many losses. Last year I lost two of my dearest friends and they truly were part of my family since knowing them longer than most. I too am a cancer survivor and this thing about surviving is the guilt is hard to live with. That guilt is always there since we are here and they are gone and it is amazing how deep the subconscious is. We never forget and nor would I want to since with time we manage to weed out the painful and allow the happy to return.
I couldn't have imagined many things until a few years ago and now more than ever want to be just in the moment. Our loved ones live on through us and in all they touched through their life time and there isn't a better legecy than this. Having people around us that loved us in amazing thing...
Tara

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