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Adapting to life after caner treatments finish

rose_hadds's picture
rose_hadds
Posts: 34
Joined: Jul 2010

Hi - I just finished treatments on May 19th/10 for Ewings Sarcoma. I had a tumor in the soft tissue of my base skull with mets to my lung. After 4 rounds of chemo,surgery on my lung and 35 radiation treatments to my skull I was done. What I was not expecting was the emotional rollercoaster living after would cause. Depression and anxiety set in almost immediately. The fear of recurrence filled my head 24/7. Learning to live with "cancer" as a part of the rest of my life terrified me. A life of scans/blood tests and visits to the oncologist depressed me more than I can say. Knowing that my life as I knew it before cancer would no longer exist was hard to accept. I quickly reached out to a councillor and other cancer survivors. My family doc helped me with some meds to get me through some pretty rough days. This site saved me!!
Now 3 mths later I am glad to say I am getting better. I am learning to accept the fact i am a cancer survivor and this is part of my everyday life. I am still scared but my focus is not totally on recurrence. With help I am able to see how truly lucky i am to still be here. The future scans/blood tests and doctor visits I look now as keeping me healthy. I know my life has a "new normal" and cancer is a big part. I am now glad they are keeping a close eye on me every three months to ensure I remain a survivor. No doubt cancer changed my life forever. I cannot change that fact I can only keep fighting.
Reaching out was the best thing I did. My councillor helped a lot but the cancer survivors helped the most. Talking with people who have walked the walk gave me more help than ever. I have a great support group with family and friends but they really don't get it as they have not been on the journey. I decided to be honest with those closet to me with how I was feeling. I donot committ to anything beyond today and each day I remind myself of the positive and what I am thankful for. I still have down days but I can now always see something positive in the day.
Cancer is a demon that enters your body and changes you. I plan to change for the better.

Leanne(rose_hadds)

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

Leanne,
You know I am thinking of you ! I am so glad I had got to know you. You are the best!
Jennie
zinniemay

terato's picture
terato
Posts: 384
Joined: Apr 2002

Leanne,

I was diagnosed with metastatic teratoma at the age of 28, underwent two surgeries and a two-year protocol of cisplatin, bleomycin, and vinblastin, concluding on April 18, 1982. Since then, I really have not enjoyed total peace of mind, always waiting for that "next shoe to drop". As confirmation, I have suffered other minor health issues and major family tragedies, the greatest being my brother's suicide.

I have made a number of note-worthy accomplishments, since cancer, have met some great people, and been to places most people only get to see on the Discovery Channel, but I can never completely get over the feeling that the shark is back in the water and, someday, it will get me.

Love, Courage, and Peace of Mind!

Rick

Curlz's picture
Curlz
Posts: 42
Joined: Aug 2010

You're supposed to punch a shark in the snout if it comes after you!

Keep that visual in your brain and keep having adventures. :-)

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