Sad news for Ed and Us
lindadanis
Member Posts: 235
This week was very very sad news for all of us, Ed has been put on Hospice care at home as of yesterday, don't know what to say, I am lost and sad and don't even have the words to express how I am feeling. He is in bed most of the time, has problems walking probably from the brain met, etc., Diana is having an extremely difficult time accepting hospice., all the way around, just sad. I cannot stop crying thinking that this day has come.
Linda
Linda
0
Comments
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My Heart Goes Out to You
And everyone else that has reached this point in their journey. We are not there yet, but I often daydream of what it will look like and be like when the time comes.
I know many people who's families worked with hospice caretakers. They all have said how wonderfully kind, knowledgeable and caring they are. They know so much and work with the entire family on the emotional ups and downs and what to expect. Let them help you!
Just try to take advantage of every moment you have with Ed. That's what's most important. Tomorrow will come soon enough.
My thoughts and prayes will be with Ed, you and your family.
Blessings,
Sally0 -
so sorrysal314 said:My Heart Goes Out to You
And everyone else that has reached this point in their journey. We are not there yet, but I often daydream of what it will look like and be like when the time comes.
I know many people who's families worked with hospice caretakers. They all have said how wonderfully kind, knowledgeable and caring they are. They know so much and work with the entire family on the emotional ups and downs and what to expect. Let them help you!
Just try to take advantage of every moment you have with Ed. That's what's most important. Tomorrow will come soon enough.
My thoughts and prayes will be with Ed, you and your family.
Blessings,
Sally
Linda and Diane,
Very sad to hear that Ed has come to this point. The hospice will make it better than going it alone but that does not make your heart break any less that this is the final road. My thoughts and prayers will be with you all, so glad that you had your anniversary party with your loved ones. Long distance hug coming your way.
Donna700 -
Sadness beyond words . . .
Oh, Linda . . . you have been through so much. I am so sad to hear your news. I was hoping that all the treatments would bring relief and a return to some normalcy for at least a while for you and your family. We on this discussion have followed along with you, felt your hopes as well as your pain. Sherri is so eloquent . . . I cannot say anything more, really, than what she has already posted. Please keep the thought in mind that lots of warm wishes and big hugs are coming your direction from all of us who post here . . .
Trisha0 -
wordstb7 said:Sadness beyond words . . .
Oh, Linda . . . you have been through so much. I am so sad to hear your news. I was hoping that all the treatments would bring relief and a return to some normalcy for at least a while for you and your family. We on this discussion have followed along with you, felt your hopes as well as your pain. Sherri is so eloquent . . . I cannot say anything more, really, than what she has already posted. Please keep the thought in mind that lots of warm wishes and big hugs are coming your direction from all of us who post here . . .
Trisha
I don't know you but my heart hurts for you and your family. I can not find the words to tell you how sad I was to read your post. I am truely sorry .
Jennie0 -
So sorry to hear that Ed has reached this point
Linda,
I am so sorry to hear that Ed has reached the point of palliative care. I know we don't want to hear the "Hospice" word because sometimes it feels like giving up. But they are there to help Ed and you to deal with this stressful time. All of us that have EC know how difficult it is to hear news like that.
Both Ed and you are in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Paul Adams (AKA paul61)
McCormick, South Carolina0 -
Linda and Diane,
I am so
Linda and Diane,
I am so sorry to hear your news today. You have really had a very difficult situation and road to travel with Ed's illness and the way he reacted to his EC Diagnosis. You have tried everything and now you have to walk the last part of your journey.
My heart goes out to you and I can feel your pain. I know someday soon that I will be facing the difficult words from my Dad's doctors or even perhaps from my Dad himself when he no longer wants to fight and suffer from the chemo and other treatments. I don't know what I will do when that happens but I am sure it will involve crying and mostly not infront of him. Right now I know he has gone from Stage III to Stage IV with mets to the liver - but I still am trying to get my head and heart around what that really means. I can't concieve not being able to pick up the phone and hear my dad's voice --- it just seems so permanent and there was so much more I wanted to do and experience with my dad. I am not ready to let him go and I am sure even with the hardship you don't want Ed to go either. My heart is breaking for you.
But don't give up --- as I said in an earlier post about hope for Stage 4's Ed is a survivor who is living with cancer --- only God knows how many days Ed has left with you and so if it is 1 day or 1 month or 1 year or even more make every day count. I keep telling myself that that is the unintended gift of cancer --- having the chance to make the days count with the ones we love and not leaving things unsaid or allowing old hurts to create walls and not having regrets about our relationships with our loved ones. I have always been a my glass is half full kinda girl and this experience has been one to challenge that and I have had days to say why us, why him, why now, why me when I need him, when my mom needs him. But at the end of the day I know there aren't any answers to that and I hope that in some small way I will be able to help someone else because of this experience, I will be a better person, and if I can stop one person from ignoring heartburn and get an early diagonosis then while it wasn't worth it at least it wasn't a complete waste.
So if you can reach him(which I know is very difficult) perhaps talk about what he would like to do, where he might want to go if he is able, people he would like to talk to, things he would like to say or write. Perhaps he could write some letters if he is able to your daughter --- for her wedding day, the birth of a grandchild, a graduation or just to remind her that she was very loved by her father. Maybe he would like to talk about a "bucket list" and you could try to playfully give him a "virtual experience if he can't actually travel". And of course take the time to be with him even if he is in bed in a dark room. You have been a saint and full of love in the face of difficulty --- tell Ed you love him and talk about happier memories - video tape if you can or use a taperecorder if he wants to share some favorite memories for later.
And of course this is all easier to say than to do but I will be praying for you and keeping your family in my thoughts.
Lots of hugs and prayers coming your way,
Cindy0 -
Dear Linda,
I'm so sorry to hear your news. I understand your heartbreak and wish you and Diana didn't have to face these days. Please...If you need someone to just listen to you...I want to make myself available. I will email you privately and give you my email address and we can make arrangements to chat if you want. Hospice is wonderful during this difficult time. Don't be afraid to ask them anything!!
Much love and prayers,
Susie0 -
I am sorry to hear the news too
I am so sorry to hear your sad news. I follow this board, although I post on head and neck or caregivers board. I am in your shoes too. My husband Dale started hospice last Friday and it was a very emotional day for me. On Sunday he said this is the best I've felt in a long time. Sad to say he has rapidly declined this last week. He has stopped eating and drinking, and has slept through the last week. I see the suffering on his face, and it just breaks my heart so. Hospice thinks he may have a week or two left. I never thought in my life I would experience such pain with the love of my life. I am constantly by his side, just looking at him, trying to see the man he was. I am constantly crying too. I just pray for a peaceful passing and that he suffers no longer. I will be thinking of you.
Cynthia0 -
A long road
Linda-
So sorry to hear your sad news.
I hope that hospice provides you and Ed and Diana with the comfort and care you so need at this time.
Know that there are many here who cry with you, pray for you and think of you often. For we will also have to walk the same road one day.
Marta0 -
I am so sorry
My prayers are with all three of you...and my heart, of course, is with you.
Betty Johnson0 -
My prayers are with you
Hi Linda,
I am sorry for the pain that your family is going through and I want to thank you for the times your posts have helped me. You are a strong and generous woman to have allowed us into your life. I wish there were something more we could say or do to help you through this.
Thank you,
Laura0 -
thanks to all of youiansmom said:My prayers are with you
Hi Linda,
I am sorry for the pain that your family is going through and I want to thank you for the times your posts have helped me. You are a strong and generous woman to have allowed us into your life. I wish there were something more we could say or do to help you through this.
Thank you,
Laura
I have been reading all your posts and wanted to say "thank you" to all whom have posted. My heart is full right now and all I can say is I am so sad and cannot find the words to really express how I am feeling right now. Things this week seem like a blur, everything happening so fast, hope my head catches up with it all.
Will keep all of you posted.
Linda0 -
Lindalindadanis said:thanks to all of you
I have been reading all your posts and wanted to say "thank you" to all whom have posted. My heart is full right now and all I can say is I am so sad and cannot find the words to really express how I am feeling right now. Things this week seem like a blur, everything happening so fast, hope my head catches up with it all.
Will keep all of you posted.
Linda
I am so sorry that you and your family had to reach this point. Be strong. I know its easier said then done. I can relate to your daughter so much. I had such a HARD time with my dad being in the hospital and sick. I didnt want to expect the fact that he was dying. I wish you guys the best.
God Bless
Tina0 -
I am so sorry....Pghmomma said:Linda
I am so sorry that you and your family had to reach this point. Be strong. I know its easier said then done. I can relate to your daughter so much. I had such a HARD time with my dad being in the hospital and sick. I didnt want to expect the fact that he was dying. I wish you guys the best.
God Bless
Tina
My mom too was put under hospice care 2 weeks ago today, it something none of us want to hear.
I can tell you that the last 2 weeks have been such a blessing, we have spent every minute of every day all together as a family. We put her bed in the living room so we could all be together and people could visit. She is in no pain, and I pray that Ed is not either. Mom had SCLC w/mets to brain and spine, hit remission for a few short weeks but it returned to her brain.....
Enjoy this time, cherish every minute of every day and live without regrets.
My best to you and your family.0 -
Linda, Diana, Hope0310, all in Hospice
As others in this community have said, my prayers and heart are with you. 10 years ago I lost my mother to lymphoma and was with her her last 6 weeks. Could not have managed without the wonderful care of Hospice. It is so hard to say "now's the time", but they are such a blessing, managing the care of our loved ones so you can be there with them and not have to be the nurse. Although I too pray for remissions and more quality time, I know that we are on borrowed time-- however long or short. You are not alone-- can you feel the waves of love surrounding you and yours, wrapping you in blankets of caring to soften this blow?
Jen0 -
Hello Linda Diana and Ed
So
Hello Linda Diana and Ed
So sorry you are at this point in your journey, but just like my dad, you will all see, it will be such a blessing. Hospice will be very helpful to all of you. Ed has a new long journey ahead of him. He is about to begin a whole new chapter in his life. This new life will be wonderful. No pain, no suffering, no tears, just beautiful joy! Take care of each other. Tell each other how much you love and care for them. Hold and hug each other. Keep in touch, and know we are keeping you in our prayers.
Tina0
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