Aug 04, 2010 - 1:31 pm
It was one year ago today I found out I had cancer. I'm still in treatment and probably will be until the end. I have Stage IV colon cancer and have been told I'm inoperable. The current chemo I'm on is showing tumors shrinking and CEA going down. I should be happy, but I just feel like what is the point. Yes,I'm alive I feel pretty good but, have no life to speak of. I lost my job because early in treatment I was really sick and exhausted all my medical leave. So now I spend every day at home sitting in my house waiting for this disease to take me. I have no friends as they were all work friends and have all drifted away. I have my husband and kids but they all work and have lives of their own. I'm sorry for sounding so whiney and pitiful. I just don't know if I want to live if this is all my life is going to be. It hardly seems worth the effort. I'm sorry Im such a complainer but I just needed to get this out of my system.
Deb P.S. I am on anti-depressents and still have days where I feel this way.