Saddened, by this life changing diagnosis
Comments
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No argument there
But it *can* be dealt with, and *you* can deal with it. A day, an hour, a minute at a time if need be. Or, as Moopy reminds me, even a second at a time. Your life is indeed changing, but if you can change along with it - as I am sure you can - you will find along the way that some of the changes will actually enhance your life. This online community is just one example. If only we could have managed to find each other *without* having BC enter our lives...0 -
I understand what you mean..
I had the same feelings when I found out I had cancer. It does get easier..Do you have family and friends around you?? I am glad you are on here. We are all with you all the way. And you can come here any time you want or need to. I was on here all the time when I was first Dx. And I learned allot from the ladies here. It has helped me tremendously. Take care. Learn as much as you can that is what helped me. Knowledge is strength. All the best Kay0 -
It is so overwhelming
Trying to deal with the physical aspects of this disease seems like way too much, but then the emotional side is sometimes overwhelming. When I was first diagnosed in Nov. '09, I remember crying to my husband and saying, "my life will never, ever be the same--I will never have another peaceful day in my life." Well, 8 months later--part of that is still true. My life WILL never be the same. However, dear sister, there have been peaceful days. Many, many peaceful, joyful days. I've had my 2 surgeries, 6 rounds of chemo and am half way through rads--this has been the hardest journey of my life. BUT, there have been lots of laughs, good times and wonderful days. It all takes time--let yourself sit with it for a while. Try to be gentle with yourself and your thoughts. Now, I'm not saying every day is super as I still have treatment to go and issues to deal with. And, I still have days filled with doubts and fears. But--it is getting better and it will get better for you dear heart.
I never felt like a particularly strong person before this. If someone had told me that all the events of the past 8 months were going to happen to me, I'd have said, no, forget it, I can't do it! But guess what--I can, I AM STRONG! And you are too--maybe you just don't know it yet either!
Many hugs out to you today.
Renee0 -
Sohard, it is overwhelming,missrenee said:It is so overwhelming
Trying to deal with the physical aspects of this disease seems like way too much, but then the emotional side is sometimes overwhelming. When I was first diagnosed in Nov. '09, I remember crying to my husband and saying, "my life will never, ever be the same--I will never have another peaceful day in my life." Well, 8 months later--part of that is still true. My life WILL never be the same. However, dear sister, there have been peaceful days. Many, many peaceful, joyful days. I've had my 2 surgeries, 6 rounds of chemo and am half way through rads--this has been the hardest journey of my life. BUT, there have been lots of laughs, good times and wonderful days. It all takes time--let yourself sit with it for a while. Try to be gentle with yourself and your thoughts. Now, I'm not saying every day is super as I still have treatment to go and issues to deal with. And, I still have days filled with doubts and fears. But--it is getting better and it will get better for you dear heart.
I never felt like a particularly strong person before this. If someone had told me that all the events of the past 8 months were going to happen to me, I'd have said, no, forget it, I can't do it! But guess what--I can, I AM STRONG! And you are too--maybe you just don't know it yet either!
Many hugs out to you today.
Renee
Sohard, it is overwhelming, and terrifying at first...but as you get into your trearment, and talk with other women who have a similar dx....you will begin to feel some control and direction and realize that you can have a reasonably normal life as you go through this journey.We are here for support and sharing life experiences, so don't hesitate to ask....
Dee0 -
It's a lot to take in
It's like it's too much for your brain to process all at once. There's a whole lot of emotions to deal with on top of all the physical changes.
I know for me, I always viewed my cancer as this "other" thing...this intruder. I really never wanted to grasped the fact that I was that sick. After all, I felt fine before I was diganosed. So despite treatments and tests, I tried to keep my normal activites as much as possible. I followed my usual routine as best as I could.
What helped me was reading the Bible to find peace through all this. Hanging out with family & friends, taking walks, listening to positive music and trying to find movies that were "Feel good" movies.
I hope you feel better soon.
Keeping you in prayer sister,
Sylvia0 -
Sylvia .. Wise advise .. BC is overwhelming andsea60 said:It's a lot to take in
It's like it's too much for your brain to process all at once. There's a whole lot of emotions to deal with on top of all the physical changes.
I know for me, I always viewed my cancer as this "other" thing...this intruder. I really never wanted to grasped the fact that I was that sick. After all, I felt fine before I was diganosed. So despite treatments and tests, I tried to keep my normal activites as much as possible. I followed my usual routine as best as I could.
What helped me was reading the Bible to find peace through all this. Hanging out with family & friends, taking walks, listening to positive music and trying to find movies that were "Feel good" movies.
I hope you feel better soon.
Keeping you in prayer sister,
Sylvia
it along with the appointments - doctors, oncolgist - breast cancer specialist, then there is the decision of what to do with our breast once - chemo and/or radation have been completed .. the list and appointments and procedures goes on and on .. never ending -- or so it seems.
Keep 1 foot in front of the other, write down questions and concerns - and take 1 day at a time .. I've been there, and the good news is that it life does get better!
Strength and Courage for you
Vicki Sam0 -
sohardbnme
It is so hard when we start. The waiting, the doc appts, surgery, chemo, etc... yes you want to scream. But believe us, once you have those 1st steps out of the way, it turns into a routine, just like everything else. Well, at least that is how it was for me and I see many others. I pray & hope the same will be for you and you and soon you will get those "Good days". Hang in there!0 -
Ty for the support...I need it...Pinkpower said:sohardbnme
It is so hard when we start. The waiting, the doc appts, surgery, chemo, etc... yes you want to scream. But believe us, once you have those 1st steps out of the way, it turns into a routine, just like everything else. Well, at least that is how it was for me and I see many others. I pray & hope the same will be for you and you and soon you will get those "Good days". Hang in there!
Thank you all for your encouraging words...
I wish this could end today...0 -
as aortus said one day.sohardbnme said:Ty for the support...I need it...
Thank you all for your encouraging words...
I wish this could end today...
as aortus said one day. sometimes second at a time. if you break it down in small pieces its not so overwhelming. sometimes I get so sad to have this in my life. but the facts are I do, so keep on going. and your life will be a new normal but good.0 -
I woke up sad this morningJean 0609 said:I Know What you Mean
However, I found it much better if I tried to keep a positive attitude. That's not possible all the time. We are all here for you. Hugs, Jean
I do not have much emotional support...I live alone...I woke up this morning and I was scared to death...I get port in this morning 8:00 am...I am in dis belief, that I actually have to do chemotherapy next Monday...My brain wrap around it for a moment then...uuuggghhh...CAN I DO THIS...UUUGGGHHH...this is really happening to me...I feel like I am drowning...sinking...0 -
I am drowning...lolad said:Please hang in there
I will post something for you tomorrow, which usually ends up being a novel i swear. I am just very tired and need to get to bed. take care
laura
Laura...I do not know if I can do it...it is alot...My immediate future looks bleak...0 -
You can do this ..sohardbnme said:I woke up sad this morning
I do not have much emotional support...I live alone...I woke up this morning and I was scared to death...I get port in this morning 8:00 am...I am in dis belief, that I actually have to do chemotherapy next Monday...My brain wrap around it for a moment then...uuuggghhh...CAN I DO THIS...UUUGGGHHH...this is really happening to me...I feel like I am drowning...sinking...
We are here for you ... If I remember correctly, you live alone, you've been told that you have 'Breast Cancer', the words themselves - will scare the living daylights out of anyone. Fear is consuming, and it sounds like yours is consuming your thoughts and life. Do you have anyone close by? A friend, a partner or sibiling?
Get you port, and rest - go to your safe place in your mind, body and soul. Tomorrow, get yourself working on .. what you will need for chemo treatment, and afterwards. 1 step at a time .. 1 thing at a time.
Vicki Sam0 -
drowning . . .sohardbnme said:I woke up sad this morning
I do not have much emotional support...I live alone...I woke up this morning and I was scared to death...I get port in this morning 8:00 am...I am in dis belief, that I actually have to do chemotherapy next Monday...My brain wrap around it for a moment then...uuuggghhh...CAN I DO THIS...UUUGGGHHH...this is really happening to me...I feel like I am drowning...sinking...
that is the exact word that I used to describe how I felt . . . drowning . . . not even being able to catch my breath through all of this.
I am so glad you are on this site for some emotional support - hope that you are feeling the thoughts & prayers that are coming your way!
Even though I definitely felt the drowning thing for what seemed to be a long time, I will say that I do feel like I have made my way to ground (not sure if I'm on "solid ground" yet, but at least I feel like I'm out of the water). I hope that you can feel that way before too long, also. I know that I felt like I would never see color in my world again when I was going through this for those first months, but it did get better for me, and it will for you too.
Keep this thought in your mind as you are going through your days . . . you are not alone!! We are there with you and for you!
Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers,
♥ Lynn ♥0 -
I am an anxious person, IVickiSam said:You can do this ..
We are here for you ... If I remember correctly, you live alone, you've been told that you have 'Breast Cancer', the words themselves - will scare the living daylights out of anyone. Fear is consuming, and it sounds like yours is consuming your thoughts and life. Do you have anyone close by? A friend, a partner or sibiling?
Get you port, and rest - go to your safe place in your mind, body and soul. Tomorrow, get yourself working on .. what you will need for chemo treatment, and afterwards. 1 step at a time .. 1 thing at a time.
Vicki Sam
I am an anxious person, I started lexapro when I got diagnosed, it helps me to think logically. also I employ distraction, go out and get busy. It helps me keep my mind otherwise focused. dont obsess take it one day at a time. this is the time that is the hardest. when you are in treatment you are taking action and although you are dealing with side effects you have a goal.0 -
Never see color in the world...MNLynn said:drowning . . .
that is the exact word that I used to describe how I felt . . . drowning . . . not even being able to catch my breath through all of this.
I am so glad you are on this site for some emotional support - hope that you are feeling the thoughts & prayers that are coming your way!
Even though I definitely felt the drowning thing for what seemed to be a long time, I will say that I do feel like I have made my way to ground (not sure if I'm on "solid ground" yet, but at least I feel like I'm out of the water). I hope that you can feel that way before too long, also. I know that I felt like I would never see color in my world again when I was going through this for those first months, but it did get better for me, and it will for you too.
Keep this thought in your mind as you are going through your days . . . you are not alone!! We are there with you and for you!
Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers,
♥ Lynn ♥
Lynn
It is such an emotional whirlwind...I literally have to take it second by second...I feel good for a couple of hours, strong, positive, alive and then in a few hours...A thunderstorm emerges...0 -
Thank you for that insightcarkris said:I am an anxious person, I
I am an anxious person, I started lexapro when I got diagnosed, it helps me to think logically. also I employ distraction, go out and get busy. It helps me keep my mind otherwise focused. dont obsess take it one day at a time. this is the time that is the hardest. when you are in treatment you are taking action and although you are dealing with side effects you have a goal.
Carkris,
I do believe once I start treatment, I will feel better...I will be able to start the countdown... Oh, but the POSSIBLE side effects...uuuggghhh...lol
Want to know what I fear the most...Chemical Menopause
Since I am 37 to insure that my ovaries shut down and to help block estrogen, they are gone to give me zolodex injections...(Hormonal headaches are the worst)
I know I can do it, at this second...check in a couple of hours from now
... 0 -
Thank Youlolad said:Please hang in there
I will post something for you tomorrow, which usually ends up being a novel i swear. I am just very tired and need to get to bed. take care
laura
Thank you for thinking of me...I hope you were able to rest well....0
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