Jul 18, 2010 - 5:06 am
My dad is 59 and has stage 3 stomach/esophageal cancer. He isn't a candidate for surgery since he has a past stroke, has had seizures and has sleep apnea. He had treatment and we go back next week to find out how it worked. I am his caregiver since my mom has to work and my brothers have families. It has been rough seeing my dad like this, so I hope treatment has helped him. I have been so sad this week from the worry about the outcome and what these tests will show. It's so hard because he has been through so much. He had his stroke six years ago and lost his speech. He is still himself and walks, cooks, etc., but can't get out what he wants to say. Then the stroke caused seizures so he is on medication for that. He is an amazing an wonderful man, and I just don't understand why he has had to deal with so much :( It has really affected my relationship with God. All the "why him?" And, "Why does some people get miracles and some don't?" I will hear people talk about the amazing faith they had and how everyone was praying, therefore they were blessed by God. Many people do that and they aren't! So then I think, "Well, why pray if God is going to do what He wants, anyway?" It has just brought up a million questions and it's so frustrating.
I get SO angry sometimes hearing people complain about petty life problems. I have extreme ups and downs, happy one minute, angry the next, then crying. I feel SO sorry for him... he has had it so bad. I just hope if the cancer does take him, it's fast and he doesn't have to suffer...