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worried. frustrated with God

peachycream
Posts: 33
Joined: Apr 2010

My dad is 59 and has stage 3 stomach/esophageal cancer. He isn't a candidate for surgery since he has a past stroke, has had seizures and has sleep apnea. He had treatment and we go back next week to find out how it worked. I am his caregiver since my mom has to work and my brothers have families. It has been rough seeing my dad like this, so I hope treatment has helped him. I have been so sad this week from the worry about the outcome and what these tests will show. It's so hard because he has been through so much. He had his stroke six years ago and lost his speech. He is still himself and walks, cooks, etc., but can't get out what he wants to say. Then the stroke caused seizures so he is on medication for that. He is an amazing an wonderful man, and I just don't understand why he has had to deal with so much :( It has really affected my relationship with God. All the "why him?" And, "Why does some people get miracles and some don't?" I will hear people talk about the amazing faith they had and how everyone was praying, therefore they were blessed by God. Many people do that and they aren't! So then I think, "Well, why pray if God is going to do what He wants, anyway?" It has just brought up a million questions and it's so frustrating.

I get SO angry sometimes hearing people complain about petty life problems. I have extreme ups and downs, happy one minute, angry the next, then crying. I feel SO sorry for him... he has had it so bad. I just hope if the cancer does take him, it's fast and he doesn't have to suffer...

Barbara53's picture
Barbara53
Posts: 659
Joined: Aug 2009

In case you're interested, there's a little book written by a pastor's wife called "When God and Cancer Meet." My mom (patient) liked it, even though some of the people in the book died.

Your dad is so lucky to have you as his go-between and caregiver during this impossibly difficult time.

webozo's picture
webozo
Posts: 82
Joined: Feb 2010

i do not want to sound hard or anything but when my daughter asked why me i have two children a husband a sick father my husband is in the army her list went on and on i said why not you i love you and i have had a conversation with god myself but why not you. god has a plan for all in this world and his plan is not all ways easy to understand. this dose not help you cope in the darkest of the night but it might be able to give you something to hold onto when your faith is tested the most. i will keep you and your dad in my prayers. blessed be to you.

ms.sunshine
Posts: 710
Joined: Mar 2010

I understand been there myself. If you're mad at God let Him know, be mad, tell Him. Don't get caught up in what people say. Go to the source, God Himself. No matter what some may say, yes it is ok to be mad at God, just get it out so He can help you thru it all.
I wish you the best.

Dotsmom
Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 2010

Its okay to be angry/frustrated with God, He can take it! Unfortunately for us God doesn't always answer prayers the way we'd like. But maybe you are the answer to prayers. How wonderful is it that your father, your family has you and you have your father. Take comfort in the fact that you have this time with your father and are able to help and support him.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Peace,

terato's picture
terato
Posts: 384
Joined: Apr 2002

I don't believe that God has anything to do with cancer, hurricanes, or the Holocaust. These are caused by either nature or human evil. However, I do believe that God acts in the manner we respond to such tragedies, as expressed in the "Serenity Prayer"

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

(Although known most widely in its abbreviated form above,
the entire prayer reads as follows:)

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

When "cancer" enters a family, it can either weaken its bonds or make them stronger. It all depends on the faith and determination of the individuals involved. Pray that God grants you "the wisdom to know the difference".

Love, Courage, and Peace of Mind,

Rick

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