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Triple Whammy

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1612
Joined: Aug 2009

Yesterday was a triple whammy for me. It was that day again, the 20th of the month. I lost Doug on that date eight months ago. It was also our first Fathers Day without him and my birthday. We got to my son's home after midnight, early Sunday morning. I decided to spend the night rather than driving home. When we got up later that morning, my son and family took me to a birthday brunch. I actually got home about 2:00PM. We had a great vacation and cruise, but I came home by myself to an empty house. Will we ever get used to that? I know I have a full summer with several family times. My teenaged grandchildren and I are driving to PA in July. A couple of the grandkids are coming here for Vacation Bible School next week. Yet I still feel this emptiness. My fibromyalgia is flaring a bit, and I am really fatigued. I am sure that is adding to it. I am sure others struggled through that first Fathers Day, too, especially those with children still at home and those who recently lost a father. Please take care of yourselves, Fay

closs86
Posts: 85
Joined: Apr 2010

Hi Fay
Wow you better believe you had a triple whammy, I am happy that your son and family took you out to brunch, I know that you don't want to but you have to let the family celebrate your birthday, I don't think the emptyness will ever get better, how could it after having your love with you for all those years and then they are gone, it is not anything that we can get used to. I know what you mean the house is still empty even when there are people there, You probably didn't rest enough on vacation, we never do, there are so many things to do, maybe that is why your fibromyalgia is acting up, do you take any medication for it?, try to rest a little hopefully it will feel better.
Fathers day my son, daughter in law and grandkids were over for the day, compared to Johnny's birthday the week before it was not as hard, his birthday was a killer. I sometimes still feel that I am dreaming, and going to wake up soon.
Hope you feel better
Hugs
Karen

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1156
Joined: May 2008

Fay ,I come home everyday to the empty house too its so hard. So i went to the cemetary and put some ballons for angel on fathers days alot of people at the cemetary, Its been so hot here in phx i could not stay long . I hope you start to feel better soon,

Take care
michelle

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1612
Joined: Aug 2009

Thanks to both of you for the support. I am doing better today. I do take meds for my fibromyalgia. Lyrica has been a godsend for me and most of the time it controls the pain. When I overdo like the trip home Saturday, I have to deal with the fatigue and fiber fog and a little pain. I know it is coming and try to plan ahead giving myself plenty of rest time. Sunday just hit me hard. I have a meeting today and a full calendar of stuff for the week so I will keep busy. I think I am getting used to the time change, too. Now I just have to get ready for Vacation Bible School and our trip to PA. Take care, Fay

closs86
Posts: 85
Joined: Apr 2010

Hi Fay
Glad to hear that you are feeling better, do you teach in bible school?
Take care
Karen

halsons's picture
halsons
Posts: 76
Joined: Apr 2010

Faye, I am so sorry you are going through this. I too had a hard time on father day with the kids showing signs of anger and fighting with each other and then leaving not saying to much. Montanna had the hardest time crying and asking me why dad had to die. She still isn't eating and now hospice is going to try some cognitive therapy called EMDR. I hope something works because she has already lost almost 30 pounds. Good thing she was chunky before. I know you hate coming home to a empty house I hate going to work and coming home without my best friend. I feel sometimes I don't want to come home at all but I have to with the kids. I am so glad you had a great time on your vacation. Keep in touch. Haley

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