Jun 21, 2010 - 3:09 am
It's been a journey the last few months. There are moments I want to cry, I feel mad and other times I am so lost. I feel like I have lost that piece of me that I once had before my uterus was removed. Overies still there I go thru these mood swings, one moment I am mourning the child I'll never have with my husband. The next moment I am so frustrated because I use to be indpendant and could roll my wheelchair all day and clean and cook and do things. And other moments I am happy, and feel blessed to be alive.
I found out I had fibroid tumors about 5 years ago. I asked my doctor if I had cancer and he said no many times over the last 5 years. I had lost alot of blood due to the tumors one time my hemogloben level was at a 4 went to the hospital sat with a friend who just had stroke then when she was okay I checked myself into the hospital and that day was my first transfusion. It took a week of me walking around and feeling really tired and my heart almost giving away before i detected something was wrong. This time actually it came on with in hours I bled and threw up and then prayed to get into the car, and not pass out(My hemogloben was at a 6 this time. ) I had to make a decission to have My uterus removed, meant I would never be able to carry a child, but I couldn't leave my husband behind, or my friends how selfish would that be of me. I cried thru it was in the hospital most of the time. I thought the bad stuff was over, and h ere we could make new memories and go on with our life. Friday my doctor got the test back. He said there was cancer in the Lining of my uterus. I don't know if I am strong enough right now to wonder what this means.. But I do question all the time and I asked him some questions like do I still have it? Should I have more test? I am so at a loss what do I say, and what do I do.. I had to read on the internet what cancer of the lining of the uterus was called. It's endometrial Cancer, and to digest everything... I pray and hope it's gone.. But I am so scared and trying to be strong.
I can barely walk around or roll my wheelchair on long walks like I use too. I went out for a half hour yesterday and it took everything I had to walk back, and I am so tired today..