Taking advantage of help?

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tmc576
tmc576 Member Posts: 60 Member
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
My sister in law comes over and cooks at least once a week, and now for the second week in a row, my neighbor has sent over two huge meals. I REALLY REALLY appreciate this. However, because I don't have to cook, i find myself sitting down to read a book, or watch tv. I feel guilty that people are doing things that I technically have time to do.

I have already sent my neighbor a thank you for the first batch of food, and thanked her in person for the first and second. I feel like I should tell her not to send anymore because I feel like I am taking advantage of her kindness. Would that hurt her feelings? Especially now that school is almost out, I do have a little more time.

What do you think I should do?

Tracey

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  • Barbara53
    Barbara53 Member Posts: 652
    #2
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    let yourself relax
    Chill, girl, you don't have to do everything yourself. Let your neighbor be kind -- she probably likes the way you're raising your kids and looking after your mother. There have been times in the last year when I have absolutely depended on neighbors to help in special ways. Wish I had more of them.

    People really do like to help, you know. In my tiny rural town, a new singing group is forming that will go sing for very sick cancer patients in their homes. Is that cool or what?
  • tmc576
    tmc576 Member Posts: 60 Member
    #3
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    Barbara53 said:

    let yourself relax
    Chill, girl, you don't have to do everything yourself. Let your neighbor be kind -- she probably likes the way you're raising your kids and looking after your mother. There have been times in the last year when I have absolutely depended on neighbors to help in special ways. Wish I had more of them.

    People really do like to help, you know. In my tiny rural town, a new singing group is forming that will go sing for very sick cancer patients in their homes. Is that cool or what?

    That is very cool.
    If I have learned one thing from this whole process, is how appreciated a small thing like a meal, or kind word can be. I have decided that the next time I hear of someone being sick or having some kind of trouble, the first thing I will do is send over some food. I never realized how helpful it was.

    I am a guilty person by nature. I have a hard time doing things for myself and not feeling guilty.
  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #4
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    Hi, Tracey
    Accept the help graciously. We found that people really do want to help. I actually had people thank me for letting them drive my husband to radiation. They had wanted to help before but didn't know how. Have you ever seen the movie about paying it forward? That is what you will do when your life gets back to some kind of normal. Enjoy that book, etc. without guilt or see it as one of your little guilty pleasures. Just enjoy! Allow people to be kind and generous if they want. Your time will come to repay those kindnesses. Fay
  • geotina
    geotina Member Posts: 2,111 Member
    #5
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    Accept
    Accept your neighbor's help graciously. So many people want to help and she has found a way to do so. By telling her no more you may hurt her feelings and her intentions are so very well grounded. You are very lucky that she thinks highly of you to do so. Relax, accept the help, and let her know just how much you appreciate it. Maybe next time you cook a cake or batch of cookies do some extra, send them over, with a kind note.

    Tina

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